Page 29 of Lisa's Unexpected Valentine's Day

Rick took the notebook with her information and left shortly after breakfast, leaving them to clean up the kitchen. “But it’s Saturday… isn’t everything closed?”

Maya piled the plates in the sink and shrugged. “He’s a judge. That tends to open doors, even on the weekend.” There was a note of pride in her voice.

“Oh.” She hesitated and then added, “He really doesn’t need to do all of this for me.”

Maya turned around, leaning against the sink to look at Lisa. “Rick likes helping people and he likes solving problems. If he can do anything to help you get back on your feet, it will make us both happy.”

And get me out of their house faster, Lisa thought to herself. But that was unfair, she knew Maya wasn’t thinking like that. It was her own guilt at being a burden that was kicking in. “I appreciate the help. I just…”

“Lisa, just let him—letushelp you.”

“I am.” Lisa snorted. “I mean, it’s not like I have a choice. I don’t really have anyone else and I’ve kind of hit rock bottom. I really don’t know how I messed everything up so badly.”

Maya shook her head. “From what you told me… none of this was really your fault. I still can’t believe Unemployment is that backed up. How do they expect people to survive waiting months?” She pulled some storage bags out of a drawer and began dumping the toppings into them.

Lisa took the bowls over to the sink as they were emptied and started filling it with hot water so she could wash everything. “They said there’s been unprecedented fraud and it’s holding things up.”

Maya sucked her teeth in disapproval. “Well, maybe Rick can help there too. I’m not sure. The important thing is that you have a safe place to stay while we sort it all out.” She came over to dry the dishes, as Lisa washed them.

“I can’t believe you still want me here after what I did.” It was barely more than a mumble, but Maya heard her anyway.

“See, this is why you need a Dom. All those icky guilt feelings are going to build up. You’ll make yourself miserable over it. I already said I was okay about it, the only one who needs to forgive you isyou, and punishment helps with that.”

“Maya, no Dom wants me. I’m never going to have one.” Lisa sounded as tired as she felt.

Maya scowled. “That’s silly. You’re pretty. You’re smart and fun. Why wouldn’t a Dom want you?”

“Because I’m not… like you. I don’t have anything to give them back.”

Her friend tilted her head, squinting as she stared. “What does thatevenmean?”

Lisa didn’t like telling people she was ace. She felt like a misfit enough, without people knowing she was failing at themost fundamental biological imperatives. “It means I don’t like sex.”

“What? Like, not at all?”

Lisa shrugged. “I don’t mind once in a while. If I was in a relationship, I’d be okay doing it sometimes for them, but yeah, I don’t really get much out of it.”

“Okay, so what does that have to do with having a Dom? You know sex doesn’t have to be part of that, don’t you?”

It was a struggle not to roll her eyes, but she knew Maya was honestly trying to help. “Peoplesayit doesn’t, but every DomIconnected with was looking for sex. If someone wants sex the first time you meet, then you have to assume it’s going to be right near the top in their lists of desires in a sub.”

“Well, sure some people do need sex to be part of things, but that’s not all—”

“Three Doms, Maya. I met three. We talked online about how discipline and structure were priorities for me. How I was looking to explore and learn, but those were my basic needs. All three tried to fuck me at the first meeting.”

Maya’s eyes widened and she blinked slowly. “Lisa… those don’t sound like real Doms at all. You’re supposed to talk about everything before you get to anything physical. Where did you even meet those guys?”

“Online. Kinky dating sites. BDSM websites. And it wasn’t just the three I actually met. Do you know how many Doms have dick pics right in their profile? How many list the sex acts they want their subs to be good at? Everywhere I looked sex was the priority.”

“Well, you were looking in the wrong places. Maybe it’s because I’m a Middle and places for us tend to be less overtly sexual. Lots of Littles don’t even like sex when they are in a younger headspace. So, I see lots of Doms and Daddies who don’t put sex first.”

Of course, and that made sense, but it didn’t help her much. “Yeah, but I’m not a Little. I’m a submissive and it’s different.”

Maya shook her head. “It’s really not. Just because I identify as a Middle, doesn’t mean I’m not also a submissive. I submit to my Daddy’s authority. I obey or I accept the consequences. And when I’ve got my adult headspace on, I enjoy being dominated in scenes.”

Why didn’t she get that it wasn’t the same. “I get that, Maya. But even if some Doms don’t make sex a priority, they still expect to have it on a regular basis and they want a partner who… you know, enjoys it with them.”

“Did you think only subs could be asexual? It didn’t occur to you that there were Doms out there who didn’t like sex either?” Maya snorted. “Sexual desire and dominance are two different scales.”

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