Page 15 of My Boss's Sons

Milo poked his head out of the house. “Which one, baby?”

Ava shrugged. “I don’t care, Milo. Just get one.”

“What am I using it for? If it’s big, I’ll get Jason. If it’s medium, I’ll get Michael. If it’s-”

“It’s for chopping up mean old ladies, Milo!” Ava threw her hands up and groaned. “Forget it. Just…forget it, Milo. She’s already halfway home.”

“What? I’m not chopping up people with my chainsaws, Ava! Do you have any idea what that kind of thing would do to them? God, Ava, it’s like you don’t even care about them.” Hedisappeared into the house again, leaving Ava and I standing there with Mr. Jimmy.

Mr. Jimmy cleared his throat. “I was a communist.”

Ava and I both stared at him with slack jaws.

“Well, it was before the internet. I met a nice man who told me a bunch of bullshit. To be fair, I wasn’t exactly listening to the things he was saying. He had this noncancerous tumor on his tongue… It looked terrible, but it felt like heaven.”

Ava and I both fell into a fit of laughter. By the time we’d stopped my sides hurt and I had tears running down my cheeks. Ava recovered faster than me and she was invested in knowing more. “So you became a communist for a man who gave good head? I thought it was bad when I pretended to like magic for my boyfriend before Milo.”

“You can imagine my surprise when I found out the truth. I had to paint white strips on my house and pretend like that had been the plan the whole time.” He turned his gaze on me. “Back to you, though, missy. You look like me after I participated in my first gay rodeo.”

“I didn’t know you used to ride bulls, Mr. Jimmy.”

He was eighty if he was a day old but that didn’t stop him from wagging his white eyebrows at us. “I didn’t.”

After another round of laughing and cheering him on, they both refocused on me. I blew out a big breath and studied my nails. “We met at the bar and then they took me to their apartment. I didn’t look at my phone until I was already on my way home this morning. It just slipped my mind.”

Ava made a confused sound. “They? Are you telling me that you went home with someone with they/them pronouns or that you went home with more than one person?”

I groaned. “More than one person.”

She gasped. “Two men?! You went home with two men?”

When I didn’t respond, Mr. Jimmy whistled. “More than two?”

“Three. I went home with three men.” I let out a panicked scream when Ava did. Even stomping my feet and shaking my head didn’t make Ava and Mr. Jimmy less curious, though.

“You went home with three men?! How? Why? What?”

Mr. Jimmy cleared his throat. “Well, let’s not jump to conclusions.”

I made a face. “Jump away. I had sex with all three of them. They’re brothers.”

Ava ran around in a circle, screaming. “What?! Oh, my god! My sister, the nun, had sex with three men at the same time?!”

“I’m impressed, girl. If I could’ve found three brothers who wanted to take me home back in my day, I would’ve been more into family!”

I found my hand up and realized I was high-fiving Mr. Jimmy. “I need to hang around Milo less.”

“Wait, Soph. Tell us everything. I mean it. I need to know every little detail.” Ava threw her arm over Mr. Jimmy’s shoulder. “Weneed to know every little detail.”

“You want me to tell every single detail of my night of sex to my little sister and senior neighbor?” I took Mr. Jimmy’s hand and smiled. “Of course, you’re more than that, but I had to say it like that to really get the point across.”

“Yes, that’s exactly what I want. If you don’t tell us, we’ll write you out of our wills.” Ava looked over her shoulder and spotted Mrs. Johnson coming closer. “Oh, god, why the hell is she coming back? Mrs. Johnson, don’t come any closer! Sophia is about to tell us the story of how she slept with three men at the same time last night! We wouldn’t want to traumatize you.”

I slapped Ava’s arm. “Stop screaming that! What if Lily hears?”

“Then she’ll know her mom is in touch with her sexuality.” Ava brushed me off and kept going. “Or maybe you want to hear all about it, you skank!”

Mrs. Johnson let out a frustrated scream. “I’m calling the cops!”

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