Page 38 of The Fangirl and the Playboy

“Hey,” he says as he slows to a stop a few feet away. “I just finished having dinner. What are you up to?”

“I was out of tea at home,” I say, motioning toward the shop. “I just thought I’d come make myself a cup.”

He swallows thickly, making his Adam’s apple bob as he nods. “So…did you see Julia’s interview?”

Well, that’s one way to break the ice and open the conversation.

“I did. Come on in,” I say, walking toward the front door and sticking my key into the lock.

He follows me inside, and I relock the door and turn off the alarm system before flicking on the lights over the coffee bar. Gavin moves to a table and sits while I make us each a cup of tea. Carrying the steaming mugs, I hand one to him before sliding into the chair across from him.

“Willow, I’m sorry––” he starts, but I cut him off with an upheld palm.

“You don’t need to apologize to me again, Gavin. I understand everything better now, and I know why you did everything you did. You were just being a good friend to her.I’msorry I refused to listen to you when you tried to explain that night at my window.”

“I never blamed you for that or held it against you,” he says, his gaze earnest. “You were hurt and confused, and I handled everything all wrong. If the roles were reversed, I’m not sure I would’ve acted any differently.”

“That’s generous of you,” I say with a small smile, then my expression falls. “Why didn’t you ever come back? Especially when you and Julia, you know,broke up?”

“I did,” he says softly.

My brow furrows, and I lean back in my chair. “No, you didn’t.”

He takes a deep breath and blows it out slowly. “I came back on your nineteenth birthday. Julia and I had ended the pretend relationship, vowing to be friends in the public eye, and I was finally ready and able to put in the time and energy to win you back. I planned to stay in Evening Shade as long as it took.”

“My birthday?” I murmur, my mind racing to remember the day.

“I showed up at the house, and you were on the front porch…with a guy. You were smiling up at him with hearts in your eyes, then you kissed him. You looked happy, and I didn’t want to show up and steamroll all over that happiness. So, I left.”

Oh.

I do remember that. That was the night I decided to get rid of my virginity, sleeping with my boyfriend of the moment. It was a mistake, an awkward, awful moment that left me crying in a ball of agony after the guy left.

Not because of anything he did––he tried to be gentle and patient with me after I admitted it was my first time. But he couldn’t change the fact that he wasn’t the man I really wanted.

He wasn’t Gavin, and that was all I could think about in the moment.

“I do remember that,” I say after several beats of silence. Swallowing thickly, I add, “That was the night I decided to give up on you ever coming back for me.”

I’d given up, all right, and as it turns out, he was there the whole time.

ChapterTwenty

Gavin

Iblink a few times, feeling a bit shell-shocked.

“Are you saying…if I’d shown myself and talked to you, you would’ve dumped that guy and given me another chance?”

It’s a stupid question, and the answer doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things. I didn’t show myself, and we can’t change the past.

But Ineedto know.

Willow bites her lip, then sighs. “I honestly don’t know. Maybe? If you’d told me the truth about Julia, andIbelievedyou, then…yeah. Probably.”

I lean back in my chair, mulling over her answer. Would it really have been that easy? I made so many mistakes back then, and as we rehash the past, I keep finding new ones.

“What about all the women you’ve dated since? Any of them serious?” she asks, and my gaze snaps up to meet hers.

---