Page 32 of Chase

I shake my head over her laughing at me before kissing her on the cheek. We walk down her short hallway all the while she tries to offer me tea, biscuits, cake, coffee, whatever she can to make me stay with her that little bit longer. I know I should make more of an effort to come and visit her, but this village only depresses me after all that happened between Izzy and me. I accept on the condition that I make it, as well as one for her. Her growing frailty hasn’t escaped my attention, and I’m keen to help her as much as I can, including with Izzy.

“So, to what do I owe the pleasure, Mr Chase?”

I feel as though she’s mocking me and almost wish I had changed before coming here. It doesn’t help when I take a seat in one of her armchairs, which is much smaller than I remember it being. I am clearly much too big for it.

“She hasn’t driven you out already?” she asks, chuckling over the top of her cup.

“I can’t say I’ve actually seen much of her, not since Monday when she managed a mere five minutes in my company,” I tell her truthfully, then release a long sigh. “You gotta give me something, Grandma. I know you want us to open up to each other, but I can’t do that if I don’t ever see her.”

“Hmm, she is horribly stubborn, isn’t she?” she says, pointing out the obvious. “Alright, Theo, seeing as we both want to help her, I’ll tell you what I know. Though, it isn’t a lot. She doesn’t tell me as nearly as much as what she used to. In fact, Ishudder to think of what I don’t know. Come on then, Theo, what do you want to ask first?”

“Why is she mad at me?” This one has been bugging me the most. If anyone should be mad at anyone, it should be me.

“You left, for starters,” she replies bluntly.

“I was seventeen, Grandma, what was I supposed to do? I couldn’t have stayed here with her, she knows that!”

“I know that, and she knows that, but she’s still angry about it,” she replies with a small shrug of her shoulders. “And secondly, she never heard from you again.”

“That’s bullshit!” I cry out. “I texted her every day for like a month! I sent her letters, emails, and called her phone, only to get a continuously engaged tone. She cut all contact with me. And when I finally came back for her, when I had the means to do so, she had gone off with some other guy!”

“I wonder, Theo, for a smart boy, you really are stupid sometimes.” She sits back and glares at me as though I’m supposed to know what the fuck she’s talking about. “Can you think of no one who might have cut you off without her knowledge?”

“You’re talking about Ethan, aren’t you?” I ask, to which she nods.

“She cried many a night over here, telling me how you had forgotten all about her,” she says sadly. “I didn’t know how to console her, and at the time, I had no idea you had been trying.”

I close my eyes, feeling somewhat guilty, even though I have no idea what for. I did all that I could; Izzy and I just had too many people working against us. I want to question Grandma onwhat she knows about the guy she ran off with, but I doubt it would help me now. In fact, it would only stir up sad and bitter memories for me.

“Ok,” I sigh, thinking of the now instead of the past. “What does she actually do for a living?”

“And give up on her forever inventive job titles?” she teases. “I think I’ll leave it to her to tell you that one.”

“Ok,” I say a little too harshly. “Then, why would she walk out on me when I mentioned my mother thinking about her over the years?”

“I can only think it was because your mother was always kind to her,” she says matter of factly, “and yet, she also left. You both leaving was pretty traumatic for Izzy, for it meant she was left alone with her family, and with only a frail old woman on her side. After what happened between you and her, my son, in his infinite wisdom, decided to leave Ethan to take charge while he was in the city working. He decided her mother couldn’t cope, that Izzy needed a firm hand, and that hand was Ethan’s. I was rarely able to see her after that. He always came up with reasons for why I couldn’t see her, or why she couldn’t come to the phone. Ethan has never had much interest in me.And as for Tilly, I knew she bullied her, but I couldn’t tell you to what extent.”

“What the hell happened to her, Grandma? When did she lose herself?” I look her in the eye, scared of what the answers to all my questions might be.

“Personally, I believe she lost a little piece of herself every day after you left. You were her rock, her soulmate. And she got left behind. But also…”

She stops herself, then stares at the floor, removes herglasses, and wipes each of her eyes with the back of her hand. When she looks back up at me, her eyes are full of fear.

“Also, what?” I dare to ask.

“I don’t know, Theo,” she eventually replies, shaking her head and looking back down at her frail, old hands. “Something happened. Not long before she left, she came round to see me, a rare visit, and I saw it on her face; something had stolen all the light from her eyes. My beautiful, cheerful, happy-go-lucky girl was gone. Theo, I’m not sure I want to know what it is that did that to her. What Tilly did to her was bad enough, but something else happened; I’m sure of it.”

“What the hell did Tilly do?” I growl through my teeth, knowing it must have been pretty awful to stand out against all the usual crap Tilly used to give her.

“Again, Theo, that is for her to tell you,” she says sadly. “If she knows I told you these things, the trust would be gone completely, for either of us. You know how perceptive she is, I won’t risk it.”

“I’ll find out,” I whisper these words like a vow. “And I will try my best to bring her back, Grandma, I promise.”

_____

Theo

I don’t return home until gone seven, when I am pleasantly surprised to see the lights switched on behind the windows. Either we have burglars or Izzy is actually at home. I take a moment or two to get my head straight, to remind myself to tread carefully, no matter how much I want to demand answers from her. She simply isn’t ready to reveal all, and annoyingly, I have to respect that.

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