Page 36 of Chase

He pulls me against his warm body, embracing me in such a way, I don’t have the physical or emotional energy left to fight him anymore. Eventually, I just slump, giving in to him, just like I did in that library all those years ago. Only then does his body release its tension, and he leans down to cup my face between his hands. I’m finally forced to give him the eye contact I was fighting so hard to avoid.

“Please, I don’t know what you’ve been through, but I am here for you, Izzy. I’m not going anywhere and I’m not going to go near you…not if you don’t want me to.”

“You left!” I eventually cry when he refuses to stop looking at me as though he can see through all my bullshit. “You left and I…Idied!”

And then, for the first time in years, I break down on him. I break down on somebody other than myself. But it isn’t through choice, and now I hate myself for it; I haven’t cried in years because I’m not sure I will ever be able to stop.

“But I won’t leave you now,” he says, stroking my hair in an attempt to calm me down; it works to some extent. “I love you so much, Izzy, you’re my best friend, don’t you know that?” I can’t answer him through my sobs, so I just stand and let him hold me. “Will you come home with me?Please?”

After a moment or two, I concede by nodding my head, though I am still extremely unsure about all this. Before I can change my mind, he takes off his jacket and wraps it around my shoulders. He then helps me walk down the street toward anawaiting black car. Once inside, he pulls me over and lets me rest my head on his lap where exhaustion hits me like an impenetrable wall. I fall almost instantly. Sleep is the best time of day for me; it means I’m out of reality, out of touch. Sometimes the nightmares find me, but if I’m lucky, I will have a peaceful, dreamless sleep.

_____

Izzy

I reluctantly wake from sleeping in the back of Theo’s car. And when I say,reluctantly, I mean he gently nudged me awake to inform me that we were back at Nonna’s house. As soon as I hear his low voice, the horrible realization that I had lost it in front of him only an hour ago has me wincing over how pathetic I must have looked. Rather than talk about it, I decide to make a rather ungraceful exit from the car.

“Er, thanks, Theo, I’ll see you tomorrow,” I mumble, quickly heading straight for my salvation at the top of the staircase.

“Wait, Izzy,” he snaps, as though it’s an order, “turn around.”

The surprising thing is, and for reasons unknown to me, I do as he says. I can only say my humiliating moment of vulnerability has me back to being the submissive little girl I used to be. I need to snap out of this role and fast; I’ve not done what other people tell me to for a long time.

“Seeing as we’re announcing our engagement tomorrow, I think you should start wearing this,” he says, shocking me completely when he produces Nonna’s ring from his pocket.

“Have you been carrying this around with you on the off chance a situation like this will arise?” I ask as I take it from his fingers and pop it straight into my bag. “You do know it’s not areal engagement, don’t you?”

“Oh, believe me, I’m well aware of that, Iz,” he replies with a sigh, knowing my moment of weakness is now over. “However, you need to get used to wearing it around other people. I also refuse to be made to look a fool when you go out grinding up against other guys. Not to mention the fact that you leading them on and then dropping them isn’t exactly safe, now is it?”

“How dare you!” I finally snap at his arrogance, as well as his condescending tone. “Listen, Theodore, I’ve looked after myself for the past decade, and believe me, I’ve had to deal with a lot worse than some idiot with a bruised ego. How many girls have you led on over the years? Don’t stand there judging me because I like to have a good time!”

“But you don’t do you?” he calls out after me, making me stop statue-still on the step. “You don’t enjoy all that kind of stuff, Izzy, you never have. It’s like you’re punishing yourself, or them, or both of you. Tell me, have you ever actually been with a man?”

I throw my head up to the ceiling and close my eyes, allowing just one tear to escape before I face him head on. He has no idea what he’s asking me. Neither am I going to tell him though.

“I’m not a virgin if that’s what you’re trying to ask me,” I tell him with venom, though I’m not necessarily aiming this at him. He could be anyone right now and I’d be just as angry, purely because of the subject matter. He sighs once more before shoving his hands in his pockets. The look of pity or shame on his face has my blood boiling, so I let him have it.

“Sorry to disappoint you but I didn’t wait for you to come riding in on your horse to rescue me and take my ‘virtue’. I gave up on your promises a long time ago.”

“That’s not what I was thinking,” he says sadly.

“Good,” I snap. “Goodnight, Theo.”

I run up the staircase as quickly as I can so I can hightail it to my room and slam the door on this awful night. I feel so incredibly dirty right now that I instantly head for the shower where I turn it on to ice cold. I don’t even bother to undress before I slump to the floor under the running stream of water, allowing the freezing temperature to turn me numb, right down to the bone.

_____

Theo

“Hey man, how’d it go?” Daniel yawns down the phone at me. I’ve already been up a few hours, but I can tell he’s not long been out of bed.

“Blew it,” I reply bluntly, albeit truthfully. “Too much, too soon.” He laughs at the same time as I sigh. “How was Richards? Behave himself?”

Calvin Richards is one of our newest clients, as in, the ink on the paper is still wet. However, if we play our cards right, he should make us a nice, tidy sum. That being said, he’s a risk due to his awful reputation, so we have to do some damage control before we can get him signed up to some new projects. They’re keen for his talent but cautious over his headlines. What can I say? Daniel and I always attract these types; whoever is behind them knows we won’t shy away, and we’ll get them a great deal with a new, squeaky-clean reputation.

“Three women,” Daniel replies, to which I wince. “He left with three fucking women last night. One of them is an up-and-coming pop singer; she must have only just turned eighteen!”

“Fuck,” I mutter as I rub my temples; I feel a headache coming on. “Any drugs?”

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