Page 34 of Chase

“I thought you downed a bottle of wine on Sunday?” I echo back her words from Monday morning, but she simply shrugs her shoulders, then places her half-full glass carefully onto the table.

“I know who I am and I’m at peace with that,” I say quietly, goading her to open up. She lies by picking up her glass to drink. Izzy is anything but at peace, but she knows I know that.

“I’ve slept with half a football team because apparently, I’m a whore and a good lay,” she smiles wickedly, and I know I’ve lost her again. My face must say as much as she places the glass down and sighs in defeat. “What do I have to do on Saturday?”

“Nothing, I’ve taken care of everything.” I clear my throat nervously before continuing. “Wear whatever you want and be here for seven. Like Grandma said, I started coming back here for business purposes two years ago, and we got in contact. We’ve been seeing each other over those two years, and I asked you to marry me a few months ago; let’s say in May. I can make something up about the proposal…unless you have any ideas?”

“No,” she whispers sadly, “I wouldn’t know where to start with something like that. I’ll wash up in the morning before work. I’m going to bed. Goodnight, Theo.”

Izzy

Before I’ve even reached my bedroom, I can hear Theo running the tap to wash up. It instantly makes me want to run down and lay into him, but I can’t actually say why. I thought I was so angry with him because I never heard from him after he left, however I do believe him when he says he had tried to. But I’m still angry. I’m just angry, full stop.

Pushing it all aside, I begin getting ready for bed, hoping the mundane tasks will distract me enough to forget about how hehad once made me feel. However, as I shove a t-shirt over my head, I hear the sound of heavy footsteps pacing down the hallway to my room. With my heart caught in my throat, I look to the bottom of my door where I see the shadow of two feet standing outside. My breathing hitches up in panic, and I feel so lightheaded, I have to reach out to brace myself against the door. Perspiration begins to coat my skin, and I have to wipe my clammy hands down my thighs, all the while I wait for him to say something.

Please don’t say anything, please stay away from me, please don’t make me feel anything, please, I’m scared!

After a few minutes, he leaves, and I feel a combination of relief and disappointment. But in the safety of knowing that he can no longer hear me, I force myself to sniff back the cries that are resting inside of my throat. I learned how to manage grief and sadness a long time ago, and part of that is to not let myself begin crying. If I don’t control it, I know I will never stop.

_____

Izzy

Friday is manic but that’s good because it keeps me from thinking about the things that threaten my well-trained body’s ability to stay numb and devoid of meaningful emotion. After work, I head over to Penny’s apartment. I know she’s Tilly’s stepdaughter now, but I still trust her with some things. Not everything, never everything, but the parts to get me through the day when you have no one else.

We get ready to go out for the night, something that’s rare these days, but I’m going to need to let my hair loose if I have to face my family tomorrow. She bitches about Tilly the whole time, and I find it calming. She doesn’t say anything that can shock orsurprise me when it comes to my sister. No one has a lower opinion of my family than me.

By the time I’m ready, she’s only just beginning to apply her extensive make-up, but I enjoy watching her. I wish I’d had a sister like this growing up, not the nightmare that I had to endure.

It’s gone eleven by the time we get ourselves into one of London’s busier nightclubs. The music is thumping and the amount of skin on show is laughable. When we get inside, the bar is busy, but I manage to push our way to the front and order a couple of cocktails. Penny tells me to order two each to avoid queuing again, but I only get myself one. I wasn’t lying when I told Theo I only ever drink two glasses before I’m done. I’ll just make this one last; no one will notice.

“Bloody hell, it’s busy already,” she shouts over the music while we wander over to a table at which to stand. “Jaime says he’s spotted us and is on his way over.”

“Is it love?” I tease.

“Don’t know,” she says, “but he’s a good fuck and he’ll do for now.” She smirks while I shake my head over her casual attitude to it all. “There he is,” she says, waving frantically at him.

“Hey, Izzy,” he says after having tongue-kissed Penny right in front of me. Jaime is a good-looking boy, but he sure does know it. And boys who know how gorgeous they are make me anxious as well as cautious. I offer him a fake smile while Penny slides her arms all over him. “Will says hi, you should know he’s—"

“Whatever you’re about to tell me, that’s for me and him to discuss. He’ll tell me stuff when he’s good and ready.” He smiles and nods, looking either embarrassed or impressed, I’m not surewhich. “I’m gonna go and dance before the music gets too clubby for me. I’m old, remember?”

I smile as Penny rolls her eyes because I know I’m not really old, but compared to them, I’m positively ancient. They waste no time in starting to eat each other as soon as I leave.

I shimmy into the crowd when a song I know begins to play. I may not drink to loosen up, but I have trained my body well to lose its inhibitions over the years, including being able to dance confidently. I swing my hips slowly to the music while throwing my arms up in the air to move in time to the beat. It’s not long before a hand slides over my hips and begins to grind against me. I enjoy the human touch but don’t feel the need to even look at the guy. We move closer to each other, and I lose myself even further to the song. Eventually, I spin around to face him, and I smile. At least he’s an attractive man - tall, well built, and with short dark blond hair. He grins with hooded eyes as I throw my arms around his neck and move even closer against him. He wraps his arms around my waist, and we lace our legs in between one another. We’re so close, I can feel his growing erection digging into my groin, but all he does is smile at me.

When the song comes to a close, I let go and begin to break free from him. He frowns and pulls me back in the hopes of another dance. When I shake my head,no, he leans in to ask, “Wanna drink?”

“No, but thanks for the dance.” I push away, only to have his hand grab hold of my arm to pull me back.

“Where are you going, sweetheart?” he whispers in my ear, then pulls back to suggestively bite his lip and arch a questioning brow.

“I said,no,” I reply firmly. After a moment or two ofindecision, he thankfully lets go of me but not before calling me a ‘Fucking prick tease!’

When he storms off, I decide to take my leave in the opposite direction, hoping not to run into him again. There were nights when I would have confronted a guy like that, gotten a rush from putting myself in danger, but not tonight. Not after the game Theo and I played the other day. Not after all the memories came rushing to the surface again.

“Izzy?” A deep, American voice says from behind me. “What the hell are you doing here?”

I turn to see Theo looking every bit as gorgeous as he always does, standing next to another equally attractive model-worthy-looking man next to him.

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