Page 51 of The Devil

“You know what, you are being so unfair!” I growl at him. “Iwassensible; I used protection with both of them. And you heard Evan; he was sleeping around with multiple women at the same time. I had one weekend, one damn weekend with Lucius, and suddenly I’m supposed to be grateful to Evan because if it is his kid, he’ll do the decent thing and stick around. He’ll even marry me like this is the dark ages! For your information, I don’t love Evan at all, not even a little bit.”

My father narrows his eyes in my direction before asking, “And you love Lucius? That little shit who has the worst possible reputation and thinks everyone is beneath him?”

My eyes can’t hide the answer to that question, and it kills both him and me to admit it.

“Oh, God, Helena, are you that stupid? Do you really think he’ll offer you the same as Evan if you tell him? No, he’ll leave you high and dry, or at best, throw some money your way to keep quiet about it. From what I’ve heard, the man isn’t capable of love; get your damn head out of the clouds, Helena!”

He softens a little when he sees the tears rolling down my cheeks because I know he’s probably right. He then closes the gap between us and takes me into his arms while releasing a long sigh. It’s enough to make me cry against him.

“I can’t help it, Dad,” I whimper, “I wish I didn’t, but I do, so much. I wish I could love Evan instead; I really do!”

“Oh, honey,” he sighs again, “you can learn to love Evan, especially when you see him with your child, trust me.”

“You really think this is a good idea?” I ask as I pull away to look him in the eye, searching for any hint of doubt.

“I think you’re a fool if you don’t take Evan with full and willing arms, not to mention selfish. This is no longer just about you, Helena, you must think of your child,” he says before kissing the top of my head. “And if you don’t, you’re…you’re on your own.”

Before his words fully hit me, he walks away and out of the room altogether. When I realize the full weight of what he’s just threatened me with, I turn to look at Mom, who is looking just as glassy-eyed as I am.

“Mom?” I sob, and in an instant, she is holding me as tight as if I am a little girl again who has just hurt herself. She doesn’t say anything, but holds me, all the while trying to soothe away my tears.

Chapter 21

Helena

“Can you feel it?” Meri asks for perhaps the tenth time already. She’s been poking at my growing belly for almost an hour while we lie around in my bedroom. I told the others I was feeling unwell, but in truth, I just didn’t feel like celebrating Christmas. Meri is staying with us because David is ill, and Jen and Paul are on vacation. She suspects it’s a last-ditch attempt to save their marriage. Unfortunately, she’s flighty and he’s a workaholic and most likely still suffering from the trauma of losing Lucius’ mother in the way that he did.

“No,” I reply bluntly. “Will you quit poking me?”

“I still can’t believe this is happening to you of all people,” she giggles. “I mean, me? Totally. But you? I just can’t wrap my head around it.”

“I’m getting used to it,” I sigh, “me and a little bubba; the two of us against the world.”

“And Evan if you don’t get your ass over to Lucius and tell him the situation.”

“Well, neither option is appealing,” I huff. “I don’t love Evan and Lucius will most likely run a hundred miles.”

“What is the deal with you and Evan? Are you together or not?” she asks, turning to face me with a frown on her face.

“It’s…complicated. We’re like a couple but without any of the physical stuff. I guess he wants to keep some distance so if the baby does turn out to be Lucius’, he’s somewhat protected himself. I can understand that. He’s a really good guy, just notmyguy. Not that I’ll have any choice in the matter if the baby is his.”

“Your dad is being a real dickbag, if you ask me,” she says with a disgusted look on her face. “What kind of father in this day and age threatens to abandon you and his grandchild if you refuse to marry someone? Mom always said he had a stick up his ass, but seriously, even she’s shocked by his reaction.”

“As is my mom, but honestly? I’m not at all,” I reply sadly. “Perhaps shacking up with a man I see more as a brother than a lover is better than staying here with him.”

“What do Cam and Nate think about all this?”

“They only know that I’m pregnant and that it’s Evan’s baby. Dad said it was best, so they wouldn’t see me differently.”

“Jesus, that’s cold,” she scowls.

“I’ve never felt so dirty, so…wrong,” I whisper, only to end up crying.

“Oh, Hels,” she says with sympathy in her voice as she takes me into her arms. I take her comfort for all that I can. “You are far from wrong; you’re amazing! You have a beautiful little baby growing inside of you, you’re still kicking ass at school, and you’re my best friend. I love you.”

“It’s just so unfair,” I tell her between loud sobs, “Cameron is forever hooking up at college, and I know Nate’s already had a few girlfriends, but nothing is said about them. I’ve done everything he’s ever told me but the way he looks at me sometimes…such disappointment. And all I ever hear is him telling so and so how proud he is of Cameron and his business venture, or how amazing Nate is on football field. Sometimes, all I want to do is scream, and yet, I hold my tongue and smile, because that’s how he’s taught me to be.”

“There is someone who you don’t have to hold your tongue with,” she says, and I close my eyes because I know she’s talking about Lucius. “Are you going to tell him?”

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