Page 36 of The Devil

“Do you not have needs, Helena?” he asks in a low, seductive tone of voice.

“Er…not really, I mean, I don’t know.” Feeling embarrassed, I lean forward and whisper, “I have no idea what the right answer is to a question like that.”

We both laugh, even though I am being deadly serious; Idon’tknow what I’m supposed to say to a guy when they ask you that.

“Tell me,” he says, tracing an intricate pattern on the back of my hand with his index finger, “do you like sex?”

My cheeks heat up like a gas flame, instantly and intensely.

“Well, from the one time I had it, I’d say yes,” I tell him honestly, then look away because this is all too humiliating.

“You’ve only done it once?!” he gasps, looking at me like I’ve admitted to homicide. “I thought, you know, when you were hung up on that guy, it was because you had had a long, intimate affair with him.”

“It’s complicated and I don’t really want to talk about him…ever!”

“Fair enough,” he says, dropping our hands back onto the table. “Would you be willing to let me show you how great it can be?”

His bluntness shocks me to silence to begin with but then I sit up straight and look right back into his lustful eyes and nod, being nearly convinced of my decision.

“Good, stay at mine tonight then.”

Oh, God!

“Ok.”

Chapter 16

Helena

Two hours later, and I’m feeling thoroughly disappointed over the fact that I am currently underneath Evan, thinking about what things I’ll need to pack for Spain and how I’m going to break it to my parents, all the while he thrusts into me. I know I’m not experienced or anything, but the fact that we stripped down, and kissed for a bit before he fell into missionary, has kind of dampened the excitement of it all. He might not be as well-endowed as Lucius, but he isn’t what I would consider ‘small’ either. The problem is he doesn’t seem to have any idea what to do with it. With all the moaning and groaning he’s emitting, that and the fact he keeps crying out, ‘You’re so tight, you’re so tight’, I’m guessing he’s getting off on it. So that’s something I suppose.

“I’m coming!” he suddenly shouts, then sort of shudders before collapsing on top of me, where he stays, all the while trying to get his breath back.

Shortly afterward, he rolls off to the side and smiles before sauntering off to the bathroom. When he gets back into bed, he throws his arm over my waist and grins with a satisfied and contented expression written all over his face. At least one of us is.

“That was amazing, Helena. Did you enjoy yourself?”

I have two choices here; tell him the cold, hard truth, or smile sweetly and feign satisfaction. I don’t much feel like going through it all over again, so I go for the latter.

“Yeah, it was great,” I lie, so he smiles and pulls me into him before he soon falls asleep, emitting gentle snores every now and then.

I am left to stare at the ceiling, thinking about everything that has come to pass over the last few days. Images of Lucius during that summer and in the hospital last night haunt my mind for what seems like hours, with each one bringing a strange concoction of emotions that begin to make my head hurt. It is only when Evan turns over in his sleep that I manage to break the cycle of heartache and anger over all things Lucius.

Is this a sign? A sign that Evan is the way out of all of my hurt and anguish? If so, why do I feel so lackluster about him? And why was what we just did so…so…sodisappointing?

Perhaps it was better than I’m giving him credit for, my mind and heart being too wrapped up in Lucius. Perhaps it is unfair of me to judge, particularly as it was only our first time together. No, I need to give this more of a chance to blossom into something that could be a hundred times better than what I had shared with Lucius; a chance to fall for a mortal, wholesome boy who will be everything my father has been trying to sell to me. I need to leave my fallen angel well alone, let him lead the life he so obviously needs to be happy…without me.

When I return home the next day, Meri is on me like a bad case of heat rash, practically salivating and clawing at me to give her the juice.

“Tell me everything! Was it good? Did you come? Ahh! Oh, my God, wait till I tell Lucius!”

“No!” I shout in a panic. “Donotmention me at all to your evil stepbrother, promise me!”

She tuts before pulling me over to my bed to make me divulge all of the juicy details, not that there are any to speak of.

“So?” she says in a long, drawn-out way.

“It was…” I must pull a face that portrays my true feelings on the matter because she physically slumps at the same time as her face drops into a frown.

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