Page 34 of The Devil

Meri looks at me, appearing to be just as confused as I am. However, curiosity gets the better of me; that and my need to be polite and obliging at all times. I follow him over to a corner of the waiting room, just out of Jen’s and Meri’s earshot.

“How can I help you, Paul?” It feels weird using his Christian name out loud, though to be fair, the whole thing seems pretty uncomfortable.

“Lucius confides in me, and I know he confided in you during that summer; at least, to a certain extent?” I blush but nod all the same. “I want you to know he told me about the two of you.”Oh, God, this night just keeps getting better and better!“And I also want you to know that my son thinks the world of you, even if he doesn’t want to admit it. But he knows, and I know, that he must have hurt you. His feelings for you run deep, which shocked me, but also filled me with hope. A hope that he can love someone even after everything with his…” He pauses to clear his throat of what I can only assume is uncomfortable emotion. “His mother.”

“Listen, Paul, I really don’t think Lucius-”

I don’t get to finish that sentence because the devil himself bursts through the double doors, handing a familiar small white card to the same blonde nurse from before. He’s eyeing her darkly, lustfully, just as he did with me once upon a summer. My heart cracks and crumbles a little bit more and I instantly feel the threat of tears on my lower lashes.

“I…I have to go. Sorry,” I mutter to Paul who looks at me as though he’s embarrassed on behalf of his son, especially after what he was just telling me. Unfortunately for him, he got it all wrong. Lucius’ feelings for me have never run deeper than surface level. Not wanting to see him flirting with the nurse anymore, I fly for the elevator before he can even notice that I’m here.

Lucius

Winking at the pretty nurse who is melting over my melodic chat-up lines, I glance forward to see the back of someone I will always remember asmyHelena. She slips inside the elevator without looking back, pressing all the buttons with a desperation to get out of here. Her name is on the tip of my tongue to call out, but before I can, she’s gone.

Do I go after her? No. I am not worthy of Helena Carter, and she is not damaged enough to even consider ending up with someone like me. She needs to meet her shiny American dream boy who will give her the white picket-fence relationship, along with the promise of a dog and a couple of kids down the line. Just like her daddy has always wanted for her. I can’t give her that and I won’t pretend to.

So instead, I silently sigh, and wave the nurse off with my business card, with a plan to do what I do with all the other women I end up with. Explain who I am, and what I’m willing to give them. I’ll fuck her, and then forget about her, advising her to do the same with me. I’m always the bad boy experience, the little rebellion if you will, just before they find their forever guy. It’s never bothered me to have to let them walk away, apart from with her. I dread the day when Meri tells me she’s finally found someone worthy of settling down with, someone to whom she can give her all. And yet, I love her too much to take any of that away from her.

I am a little surprised that Paul has brought the wife with him, as well as Merial. I guess that explains why my topolina was here in the first place. Merial, ever the drama queen, looks like she’s been crying; I honestly didn’t know she gave a shit. Paul, on the other hand, looks positively furious.

“It’s not my fault,” I laugh while throwing my hands up in the air, surrendering. God knows why because I don’t owe anyone here an explanation. “Some idiot ran a red light.”

“Jen, Merial, do you think I could talk to Lucius alone?”

His words might be for them, but his cold hard stare is directed right at me. I make a show of checking my watch just to piss him off, to which he rolls his eyes and tuts. Jen and Merial, of course, oblige his request and scuttle off to the elevator. Paul calmly takes a seat and crosses one leg over the other, his patience obviously running thin. My eyes follow the girls as they walk out together before I slump into the chair opposite, giving him my usual nonchalant expression.

“You are one stupid motherfucker, Lucius,” he says with a hint of exasperation on his face.

“That I am, but for which reason are you referring to this time?” I show no sign of the anger he’s ignited by calling me that; what would be the point?

“She still loves you,” he says, then leans forward, as if the motion will drive his message home. “And you love her. And please do not insult my intelligence by denying it. I can’t be bothered with fools who try to bluff me.”

He reminds me of Shere Kahn from ‘The Jungle Book’, all power and ruthlessness wrapped up in a neat, debonair presence.

“I’m not going to deny it, Paul, but what exactly are you suggesting here? We both know I am incapable of giving someone like Helena Carter the life she wants.”

“How do you know what she wants? You’ve never given her anything to go on. Lives are not cut and dry, Lucius, you of all people should know that.”

My jaw tics whenever he refers to my mother and the details surrounding my conception or her suicide.

“I can’t be bothered with this, Paul, I have places to be, people to meet,” I huff as I make to stand. What he doesn’t know is I have an apartment for one to go home to, with a shower to jack off in. My muse for such a task always being the girl who just ran to the elevator to get the hell away from me.

“You’ll regret it, Lucius,” he says, looking down at his hands as he delivers this warning, but it doesn’t stop me from looking back at him with the same tic in my jaw as before.

“Most definitely, but then at least you can say those four little words you do so love to say to me - I.Told.You.So.”

Helena

I head straight back to my dorm instead of going home. I’d already packed and brought my bag with me. Besides, the thought of facing my brothers in the morning is too much to think about, so I take the coward’s way out and head back to a room for one so I can cry myself to sleep. I text Cam to apologize for not sticking around to help with the clear-up, explaining the fiasco I’d just been made to be a part of with Meri.What a joke! I should have just stayed in bed with Evan instead of getting my heart burned in front of me.

I feel bad because I tell a little white lie by swapping Lucius’ name for David’s. I’m going to be walking on a knife’s edge for the next few weeks, hoping I haven’t tempted fate into landing poor David in hospital too. However, the alternative was to listen to my big brother lecturing me about Lucius, all the while I melt under the heat of my humiliation. Cam’s heart is in the right place, and he’s certainly not worried about my reputation like Dad is, he just wants me to be happy. I only wish my heart did too.

As soon as I’m inside, I head straight to the drawer where I keep Lucius’s stupid little white card and angrily rip it to pieces before flushing it down the toilet. The imbecile that I am, honestly thought he had only done the little note thing for me, but apparently, it’s his trademark trick. A playboy technique he uses for the masses. In fact, the thought of how many women he has used this with, suddenly makes me feel dirty, so I head straight to the shower and take a burning hot one to try and wash away the fury radiating off from me.Bastard! Asshole! Motherfucking fuckface!

Of course, halfway through my burning rage, my temper tantrum runs out of adrenaline, and I end up in a sobbing heap on the floor of the shower. It’s not until Meri arrives home half an hour later, that she forces me to retreat from the shower and crawl into bed while she whispers apology after apology. She tries to soothe away my pain by stroking my long hair, but it takes some time before it has any affect. I guess we must fall asleep like this because when I do finally open my eyes again, it’s sunny and bright.

Meri treats me to breakfast at one of the nicer restaurants in town, even though I look like a sad sack, sulking against the window where all the happy, shiny people go about their daily cheerful lives. Meri stares at me with a concerned expression before handing over my migraine medication. I silently take it from her before knocking a few tablets back with a glass of water.

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