Page 16 of The Devil

I shake away those thoughts, the ones that have me realizing just how empty my life is; the ones that tell me I need more.Desiremore, Helena, there’s a difference. Be grateful for what you have, be grateful your mom and I are here to keep you safe. You’re different from Cam and Nate, what you do and say will be held against you. People remember when a girl acts up, and they don’t forgive so easily. Behave and you will have a good life with a good man who will look after you. Don’t you want someone to look after you?

I need to rehydrate again, the whiskey from last night is threatening to make my head ache as well as causing me to think negatively. I can almost feel a physical layer of depression wrapping itself around me. But it’s not real, it’s just leftover alcohol. My lifeisgood. It might not be perfect, but nobody’s life is, not even for boys like Cameron and Nate.

Stepping outside, I ignore the usual garbage that is strewn all over the place from last night’s gathering of randy teenagers. Instead, I walk straight over to the potting shed, wishing Owen a good morning as I pass by him on the way. Once inside the shed, I find a familiar-looking note lying on the counter.

Willing and mine. X

As I breathe out long and slow, I afford myself a moment to close my eyes and sigh, before screwing it up and throwing it inside the incinerator. The thought of sleeping with Lucius makes me feel tingly and nauseated all at the same time. My head becomes light, but worse than that, my panties dampen from my own irritating and traitorous arousal. After a stern internal talking to myself, I shake it off and continue with what I came out here to do.

Fortunately, when I walk back into the kitchen for lunch, I am delighted to find Meri and my aunt sitting at the breakfast bar.

“There she is, little Miss Green Thumb!” My aunt hugs me with a kiss on my cheek. It feels like one of my own parents embracing me, which instantly makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. “Don’t go getting ideas about him. He’s far too old for you,” she says in a theatrically stern voice, completely out of the blue.

I immediately blush and my mouth drops open in shock. Did she see his note? Has he said something? Maybe Meri saw him coming into my room last night.

“Too old? What do you mean? I thought…er…what?” I stutter uncomfortably before losing my breath altogether.

“Yes, Owen, the roguish gardener. He’s in his mid-forties! Gorgeous but not for you, Hels,” she says with a mischievous grin on her face. “Though, I must confess, I’ve had quite a few daydreams about him taking me roughly inside the potting shed!”

“Ew, gross! You’re my mother and a married woman,” Meri scolds with a disgusted expression on her face, which only has Jen laughing with wicked delight. “Anyway, I was just telling Mom about how awful Lucius was to you when you first arrived. I hope he’s stopped calling you ‘virgin’ now.”

“Oh, Hels, you must ignore our handsome little devil. Don’t let his beautiful exterior fool you. He’s completely wicked. I don’t think we’ve ever seen him with the same girl twice and he only uses them for one thing,” she says with a wink that makes me think she can see right through me and into my shameful thoughts. “I think he’s even been with the baby bride down the road; you know the one don’t you, Meri? The one who must be half her husband’s age? Scandalous!”

She theatrically raises her brow before sipping more of her coffee. I try to let that information sink in while Meri thinks about who her mother must be talking about.

“Oh, yes! Well, if that is true, the husband obviously has no idea. They still act like love’s young dream,” Meri finally replies. “I heard Lucius was caught banging one of the professors within the first few months of college this year. She left not long after.”

“Wow, he has quite the reputation,” I mutter, still deep in thought about it all. I won’t ever admit it, but after last night, I can see why girls like Lori find Lucius such a turn-on. It’s the masochistic part in all of us, the part that has you willingly falling in love with the villain, like Stockholm syndrome. “Don’t worry, Cam has already warned me to stay away from him, and that was before I even got here. Your friend, Lori, is welcome to him.”

My words are convincing enough, but I’ve just told a complete lie to them. The thought of him with any of those women, including Lori, makes me want to vomit. Not that Meri and Jen can see this inner turmoil for I am an expert at maintaining a passive and neutral expression.

“Oh, how are your brothers?” Jen asks with renewed enthusiasm. “Both handsome boys but with a much more amiable personality. I bet they break a few hearts too.”

“More than likely, but I don’t really like to get involved in their love lives. Nate has started young, from what I hear. I know for a fact that my dear big brother, Cam, puts it about though.”

I grimace over the thought while my aunt and cousin both laugh over my obvious discomfort. Funnily enough, so does my father, usually with the odd comment of, ‘boys will be boys’, or ‘best to let them have their fun now.’ It is ridiculously unfair. I have often thought about mentioning it to Jen, but I don’t want to bring up painful memories of her having always been compared to her perfect big brother. She did the opposite to me; she rebelled. She seems happy enough but then she’s so much braver than I am. Her mother didn’t speak to her for months after she fell pregnant out of wedlock. Her father called her all manner of names, while my dad said nothing. I think that’s why he’s always been there for her; he feels guilty. Though, not guilty enough to act any differently when it comes to me.

“And they say romance is dead,” a low voice utters as it enters the room. Knowing exactly who it belongs to, I suddenly feel hot, as though the temperature has been turned up a notch or ten. “Afternoon, ladies,” Lucius says as he appears from around the corner and offers a polite nod to my aunt and Meri.

When his eyes fall on my own, I instantly know that he isn’t going to forget about that kiss, especially when he glances at my lips for a moment or two. His tongue darts out from between his lips and I feel my cheeks reddening over the sight of it. My heart rate picks up and I hope against hope that no one can see how awkward his presence is making me feel.

“Tell me, did Cameron and his girlfriend ever make up after the wedding? They looked like such a sweet couple.”

“Lucius,” my aunt says in friendly warning, “be nice please.”

“Oh, Helena knows I’m only messing around,” he says as he moves around to the sink and begins washing his hands, which appear to be spotlessly clean. His back remains to Meri and Jen, but he leans back to look me in the eye. “Don’t you, Topolina?”

Placing my mouth onto the mug of cold tea that I’ve already finished; I try to remain expressionless. But he continues to stare at me in such a way, I feel like I must say something, if only to dispense with the stifling atmosphere he’s created between us.

“Actually, she came down with a bad case of herpes. Tell me, Lucius, do you get yourself checked regularly? Might be a good idea.”

I manage to smile innocently at him as I place my mug inside the sink. Meri and Jen stifle their grins while Lucius looks deadpan at me, making me quiver a little. Though, he soon turns on his trademark smirk while I fold my arms in front of me with defiance.

“Touche, Topolina,” he whispers, just loud enough for me to hear. In fact, Meri and Jen have already begun to gossip about other things, no longer paying any attention to Lucius and me. “I always make sure I am clean for any sexual partner,” he says just as quietly as before, “just soyouknow.”

He winks before walking out into the living room, cool as a cucumber, all the while I remain frozen on the spot.

“Well done, Helly Belly,” Jen says, using a nickname I haven’t been called since I was a child, “he needs a good dose of sass to pull him back down to Earth.”

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