All over again, I’m left spinning in the wake of his turbulence and have to ask myself what the hell am I doing trying to defeat a man like him? He's a monster, a playboy bent on using andabusing. I can’t be the person to fix him, yet I can’t be the person to watch him drown either. I don’t know what to fucking do.
CHAPTER 17
DREW
It’s official.I’ve found a new hobby. Though it might not come as a surprise. Watching Maybel. She is stunning. I could sit here in the library and stare at her all day. I've been here for an hour, alone, but any minute now, she’ll spot me, glare, and then pretend to ignore me until I leave or talk to her. She’s a creature of habit, after all.
Guilt eats away at me slowly. I’m an asshole for treating her like I did the other day. It’s a habit that’s impossible to break with my father breathing down my back. I shouldn’t have snapped at her, but she needs to learn quickly that I won’t discuss my family with her. If being cruel is the only way to impart that lesson, so be it. I can’t have her getting too close or seeing beneath the surface. Everyone prefers the person you portray. They never really care to get to know the person beneath. No one wants to see the broken, dark pieces of your soul. They only want to see the good, the image you portray to the world. The moment you show them the real you, they become scared or disgusted.
I watch the basketball player dickhead sitting beside her, the one she’s tutoredtwicethis week already, and I note his every twitch. If he makes even one inappropriate move toward Bel, I’llbe ripping him apart with my bare hands. I choose to ignore the territorial possessiveness I feel for her.
She’s tutored several basketball team members, but I haven’t seen a single member of the football team with her since I started watching her. Either we are just smarter or the team is steering clear for my sake. Probably the latter. The basketball player’s arm goes to the back of her chair. I clench my hand into a tight fist. I’m about two seconds away from jumping out of my chair when a tiny little brunette cuts into my line of sight. Immediately, I’m pissed. She’s blocking my view of Bel.
She leans down, pressing her tits together so it’s all I see on the way to her face. “Can I help you?”
Her grin is lecherous, and I know exactly what she wants. She’s wearing so much makeup I can’t even tell the true shade of her skin, unlike Bel, who doesn’t seem to wear much makeup at all, letting me see my marks all over her creamy flesh.
I sit forward, a hard-on hitting me fast at the thought of Bel’s bare hips in my hands. The girl still standing here strangling me with her perfume glances at my twitch and grins like she’s the cause for it.
“Did you need something?” I prompt again.
I lean to the side to look past this girl and keep my eyes on Bel. Shockingly, I find hers locked on my little tableau with her gaze narrowed. Even if it finally gets a reaction out of my little wallflower, I don’t want to encourage the little groupies. As strange as it is for me to say it, I only want one woman right now.
Thankfully, as I’m about to tell her to fuck off, a shadow cuts across the table, and I glance up to find Sebastian. He presses his knuckle to the wood, and the little girl takes an instinctive step back. Clearly, she doesn’t need to be told to leave. I’m sure it has nothing to do with the dark halo of energy surrounding us. The girl flees without another word, and he takes the seat acrossfrom me, focusing his dark eyes on something over my shoulder, staring down anyone who might be watching us now.
“What’s up?”
He lets out a long sigh. “I’m sure I don’t have to tell you, but it pisses me off when I have to chase you down. I text you, no response. Check your room, empty. It’s like you’ve vanished, but for some reason, I thought to check the library since your latest obsession basically lives here, and would you look at that, found ya.”
“Okay, so that doesn’t explain why you’re here?” I stare at him blankly.
He rolls his eyes and grits his teeth, impatience dripping off him. “I’m here because you haven’t signed up for one of the fucking volunteer slots for the carnival. The charity carnival we are obligated to put on by the school. The one you fucking asked me to run this year. Ringing any bells?”
We stare at each other a moment, and I lean in enough so I can see Bel over his shoulder. Basketball boy still has his arm on the back of her chair, but his hand isn’t touching her, so I guess I’ll let it slide for now. As I anticipated, he notices my movement and glances back over his shoulder. There’s no way he doesn’t notice her, and it makes me want to rip his eyes out of his head and remove the memory of her from his mind.
It’s completely unhinged and wrong, but I don’t want anyone else to look at or touch her.Only me.Turning back around, he gives me a scowl.
“Don’t start,” I say. “I already got a lecture from Lee, so I don’t want to hear it from you too. Who I’m fucking has nothing to do with any of you.”
“Your fath?—”
I cut him off before he can finish. “No. Don’t ever fucking start a sentence withyour fatherto me again. What he does has nothing to do with me. I make sure he has what he wants, andthat’s all I need to worry about. None of you assholes need to have anything to say about it.”
He leans in, his voice an urgent whisper. “No, you’re right. Your father is your business, but as your friends, we have a right to worry about you. We don’t want him to pull you out of school, and we sure as hell don’t want you to show up with a busted lip and a fucked-up eye again. Your actions have a direct impact on all of us.”
I pull back, swallow hard, but keep my face neutral. “That wasn’t...”
“Bullshit!” His voice rings out across the nearly silent room, and everyone in the area turns to look at us. I can lie to myself and everyone else at this school, but I can’t lie to my three best friends. They’ve been with me through it all. That doesn’t mean I have to be okay with the way he’s calling me out, though. We continue glaring at each other, the tension strung tight enough to choke, until everyone returns to their business, talking and whispering loud enough we can resume… no,finishour conversation.
“The carnival,” I prompt, making it clear we aren’t fucking talking about this anymore.
My friends have earned the right to be a part of my life, but that doesn’t give them the right to question my need to have a life outside what my father requires of me. Yes, everyone wants to keep Dad fucking happy, but I’m not willing to sacrifice my own life to make that happen. At least not anymore.
Sebastian’s jaw tightens, and he stares at me, his eyes blazing. I can see from the slight twitch in his arm and the curling of his hand into a fist that he wants to swing on me. It wouldn’t be the first or last time. Now that I think about it, we’re overdue for a fight.
“You’re a real asshole, you know that? I don’t have time to sit here and have a staring contest with you all day, not when I haveto finish this fundraiser you saddled me with. Don’t you have your own shit to do? And what the fuck is with the girl? She was a chase in the woods, a good lay is what you told us, so why are you so far up her ass all of a sudden?”
Feeling a bit like we’re on safer ground, I sink in the chair and let out a long, breathy sigh of my own. “Yes, she was a chase through the fucking woods, but there’s something about her. Something that draws me in, something I’m keeping.”