Page 163 of The Secrets That Kill

No, he needs to see he can, he needs to make the leap. “I need to go.”

I turn and start for the kitchen door.

“Pollyanna.”

I stop, my pulse throbbing.

“What if I screw it up?” he asks. “I might.”

“That’s what forever is for. To make it all right down the line when you fuck up.”

He’s closer now, I can feel him, but he doesn’t touch. I turn, tipping my head up to him, my hands sliding behind my back.

“Ivy, what if you start seeing me differently because of my job?”

“Do you have to do it?” I ask, knowing what he’s asking.

Mercer sighs. “I can do whatever I want.”

“Do you want to?”

He hesitates. “Honest answer?”

“Yes.”

“Yeah, but I don’t have to.”

My answer is a long time coming, but it’s honest, too. “If I decide to be with you, if that’s what you’re asking, then can I choose those jobs?”

Mercer suddenly laughs. “Like we’re some fucked-up Batman and Robin Duo of Destruction?”

“Something like that.”

His laughter fades. “Ivy. You’ll hate me.”

“I won’t, but that’s a long-haul thing. Trust, like power, goes both ways.”

This might be the hardest thing in the world for him. ButI’m stripped bare, too. I’m still here, and the longer I am without him filling the space with his truth, the more I know I have to go. I have the power, and that’s something important. Right here and now, the tables have turned, and if he doesn’t give me what I want, I need to walk out that door.

Silence stretches out, like it’s reaching into empty space, looking for something to grasp that’s right in front of him. Then Mercer takes a breath.

“You want my trust? How about I tell you what I’d like, what I crave, if this were a perfect world.”

“What’s that, Mercer?”

“You.”

My throat is closed, and I can’t breathe. Everything spins.

“Ivy, I’m so in love with you, I don’t know what to do. So I brought you here. Thought maybe this place could speak for me, but it can’t. I know the words have to come from me. And I fucking love you. Forever.”

My knees buckle as I reach for him. “I know.”

I kiss him as he pulls me into his arms. Kiss his beautiful, hard face.

“Ivy…”

“I’m in love with you, too. Unconditionally. I know you thought I was an annoying kid.”

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