Page 106 of Stuck Behind Her

However, this time, everyone here likes celebrating Christmas. A total of five people, plus Oliver and his wife, are here to celebrate the end of the year holiday. Now I have to play an even bigger part. I know all the traditions and activities, thankfully. It’s just that I have to seem just as interested as everyone else.

We leave the hotel, all of us, to go out to one of the events and locations I have suggested. Before we make cookies and decoratethe tree I had bought, we wanted to go out for a while. Brighten our spirits, if anything.

“Hey, you okay? With celebrating and everything?” Lorenzo asks in a low voice, sitting not far from me. He knows about my uninterest in the holiday. After asking me to celebrate a couple of times, he got the idea. He understood.

“Yeah. I don’t hate the day, I’m fine. If I were to hate any day, it would be my birthday,” I answer him. He smiles back, sitting straight in his seat again.

They’re still fighting, Elias and Lorenzo. I still haven’t been able to convince Lorenzo that nothing happened, and I don’t blame him. I’ve been annoying him with all the risks with Elias and Roland, him thinking Elias did something like that is something I should’ve expected. Only, Elias is his friend, one he told me to trust and who was a good person. Now he doesn’t think that.

However, Lorenzo is still talking to me like I did nothing wrong. Even though, if any of this is on someone, it’s on me. Elias hasn’t talked to me at all today, either. I feel horrible that I had to tell him what Lorenzo thought about the situation. Everything was being directed against him, even though he hasn’t done anything wrong.

I fake a cough to catch everyone’s attention. “Okay, so the driver has no idea where we are going, so I need to give a destination. I have suggestions, especially for today, but if you guys have anything you want to do, I’m open,” I announce.

“I want to go to Legoland!” Ellie suggests. Elaina jumps in excitement with her, agreeing. Aurora sighs at their suggestions.

“We aren’t going to Legoland today, we’ll find some other day to go,” I tell them, and they both slump back in their seats. I turn to the others.

Aurora leans closer to say, “I mean, it’s not Christmas Eve every day, so the events for today aren’t available on other days.”

That’s what I was thinking as well, but I need everyone to agree. I’m the host, but they still have to like the plan.

I look to Lorenzo and Elias for an answer.

“Sure, doesn’t matter.”

“Whatever you guys like.”

They both reply. I take a deep breath. They aren’t even in the mood for the trip. They’re just trying to get through it.

Aurora is trying to take the best out of it, however. I don’t want her to get dragged into all of this. She has nothing to do with my problems, she shouldn’t have to suffer the consequences. Especially on a trip she has only thought would happen in her dreams.

I turn to her, making sure a smile is on my face. “Come on, you can choose what we do.”

We do everything and get back to the hotel at seven, giving us enough time to put the tree up and set everything before Ellie and Elaina need to go to sleep. They didn’t rest for a minute, jumping around through the different craft activities and gathering that were set up at the venue and admiring the decorations that lined the city, regardless of their complaints about the destination. Yet they are far from tired, the excitement giving them all the energy they need.

We first decorate the tree with colored ornaments, each of us getting to choose three from the choices given. When it’s lit up and everything’s been put on, we move to the kitchen. Since cookies are a favorite baked good during the Christmas season, we make chocolate chip ones. Make, not buy, because buying is boring.

We only end up with about eight cookies at the end due to the constant snatching done by everyone.

Now, I am at the front door, putting on my jacket. “I’m going out to grab a few things, and I’ll be back,” I announce, tightening the jacket around my body.

“Are a few things code for presents?” Lorenzo asks. I nod, blinking my eyes at him.

I have all of the gifts ready and on hold, I have since the day I knew Lorenzo was coming with us. I thought of a gift for each one of them, and now I just have to go get them. I also need a walk, alone. I’m not used to traveling with so many people, especially when two of them are fighting.

All of them are standing at the entrance, except Ellie and Elaina, who should be going to sleep. “How about you? Who’s getting you a gift?” Aurora asks.

No one. I’m not getting a present. I am the host, which means I take care of presents, not receive them. I’m used to not getting something on Christmas, anyway.

“I’m not getting any. It’s okay, I’m used to it. I’ll get myself a drink or something on the way and tell myself it’s my gift,” I tell them, kneeling down to tie my shoes. “Please just make sure everything’s okay while I’m gone.”

She smiles, assuring me she will. I then step out the door, and into the main hall. She knows what I mean. I don’t want the boys fighting, especially while I’m not here. I never thought I’d ever say that. I don’t think I ever thought they’d get in a fight. Not because of me.

I walk outside the hotel and into the streets. I tie my hair in a low bun, hoping the dark is enough to hide me. The places I need to go aren’t far, so I’d rather walk. I need to clear my head.

Who knew I could cause such a big problem? That I could still be such a big problem, even after all these years. Why do they both of them have to like me? What part of me is in anyway worthy of being loved? People who know me on screen as Val, the famous singer, might think they like me. They might admire me, fan over me. But they don’t love me. No one can just love someone without meeting or knowing them. No one would find anything to love if they met me. Fame is the one great thing about me, but I have nothing else to offer. Nothing deserving of love.

I wish I didn’t feel anything for Elias. I wish that kiss meant nothing. I wish it had never happened; it would’ve been so much easier. None of this would’ve happened. Now I am stuck at a dead end, with no way back. I’m hurting Elias, acting like it was nothing. And now he’s stuck with this problem with Lorenzo, who I have hurt without him knowing. Whether I stay where I am, whether I move to the right or the left, I am stuck with the same ending. I take a deep breath, the air visible in the cold of the night.

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