Page 109 of Stuck Behind Her

“It’s gorgeous,” I utter, but I don’t think the words express what I feel right now. It’s more than beautiful. It deserves to be displayed, undeserving of being worn by a human. It came fromhim. My heart is going to explode. “You shouldn’t have.” I guide my eyes back to his.

They shine, like the crystals in the pendant. Just as beautiful. “It was yours before I bought it,” he answers.

My lips tip upward. I take the chain out of the box, moving my hair to the side. I unhook the small clip, then wrap it around my neck, tilting my head to the side. I try to hook the chain back together, but it’s almost impossible with my hands slightly shaking. Why are my hands shaking? Why are they so hot?

“I can help, if you want,” Elias offers, already readying his right arm. It would be impossible with only one hand. “If you hold it, I’ll be fine with clipping it,” he adds, as if reading my mind.

Without any words, I turn around so he’s standing behind me. He gets closer, his body almost touching mine. I can sense the heat of his breath on my skin. His fingers come in contact with my skin, sending another shock to my chest. I’m still holding the necklace at the ends, as he picks up the hook in his fingers. He’s easily able to hook it around the chain, clipping it closed before letting it go. His hand grazes mine as it slowly drops.

I let go of the chain and turn around. I freeze when Elias’s body meets mine. Close. He’s so close. Too close. My cheeks turn red, hot regardless of the wind. It’s so hot. Why is it so hot?

It feels like it’s Friday again. His body close to mine. His eyes looking into mine. His lips just inches away. Everything around me blurs again. I want him to kiss me again. I want to feel his lips on mine. I shouldn’t want this. I shouldn’t feel this way. Yet it’s all I can think of.

“I can’t,” I whisper, stammering with my words. His hand moves closer, taking a hold of mine.

“Val, I . . .” he hesitates. “I don’t know how to let go.” He tilts his head slightly to the side. Breathe. I need to breathe. “I loveyou. Too much, my body can’t handle it. The moment my heart beat for the first time, it decided it only wanted to beat for you. You are the only one it will ever beat for.” He stops to breathe. “You own my heart, Val. How am I supposed to live without my heart?”

I can’t breathe. My body is on fire, and there is no air around me. Breathless. I need air. My heart is beating at a million miles per hour. I can’t feel it. It’s numb. My whole body is numb.

I shouldn’t feel like this. I can’t. I can’t do this again. My body reacts to my words, and I shake my head before taking a step back, separating our hands. “I can’t,” I whisper. I see a shock of pain hit him. It shows on his face. In his eyes. It’s a slight change, but I can see it. “Elias, I can’t love you.”

It hurts, saying it, even to me. But I know it hurts him more, because he looks like he’s just been hit in the chest. He looks down, then turns to leave the other way.

“No, Elias. I don’t mean it like that.” I call, trying to follow after him. He stops, looking back at me with glassy eyes. A lump forms in my throat. “You are a great person. You deserve so much. You deserve to love someone who can choose you. You deserve so much more than me.”

“And what if I don’t want more than you? What if you’re exactly who I want?” He blurts out, pain in his voice. My chest aches. “I love you, Val. I would do anything to gain the smallest bit of your love. Anything for you to allow yourself to fall in love with me. But I guess I didn’t prove you wrong enough.”

No. He turns back around and starts to walk away.

“Elias, no!” I cry out. My voice cracks, and I feel tears burn in my eyes. No. This can’t be happening to me. I can’t be doing this. I run a hand through my hair, breathing heavily. Shit. What the hell is wrong with me?

I raise the palm of my hand to cover my face, wiping it. Tears fall down my cheeks. I turn around. My eyes squeeze shut, myhand now covering my mouth. I’m so stupid. I’m horrible. Why would I say that? Why would I do this? I shouldn’t have come. I should’ve gone home. I should’ve gone back immediately after the café.

But I didn’t, and I messed up. Badly.

Chapter 69 – Sedici

Elias

Snow isn’t something we see much of in LA, so all of us decided today is a good day to take advantage of being in New York and go outdoors. It’s cold here, compared to the weather we get in California, but luckily, today isn’t the worst.

My parents come to New York every now and then, so seeing the snow isn’t a rare sight for me, nor is the cold weather. Unlike Aurora, who is more than thrilled to see it, however she’s struggling with the temperature change.

“How are you not wearing a jacket? It’s literally freezing,” Aurora asks Val, hugging herself as we walk through the field.

Val tries to answer, but she’s interrupted by Lorenzo. “I thought we discussed this. I told you, she’s immune to the cold.”

“I’m not immune to it, I just have a high tolerance,” Val adds. Her voice is dull, and even her smile looks synthetic. Like it doesn’t belong to her. That’s not her smile. Her smile is sweet and soft and genuine. One that makes your heart skip a beat, that makes your body warm up even in the cold. This one’s fake. It’s been fake since last night.

Everything’s been different since last night.

I don’t even want to think about it. I want to lock it up in the back of my mind. Anytime I think of that night, I feel drained. Yet her words repeat in my head.I can’t love you.At least now there isn’t any hope left for me to stress over. She made it clear. It could never be me.

“Well, I obviously didn’t get that from you,” Ellie comments, shuddering in the cold. Unlike her sister, she’s wearing a heavy jacket.

“Either way, your jacket is horrendous,” Lorenzo points out, turning to look at Aurora’s choice of clothes. Her jacket is a light pink, black dots scattered on the sleeves.

“I’m sorry, it doesn’t get cold in LA, remember? This is all I have, and I also am not majoring in fashion.” She shrugs.

---