Page 14 of Bound in Darkness

“Sometimes, you can’t save someone, no matter how much you wish you could.”

I should take my own advice since I’ve been shrouded in the guilt of being unable to save my sister.

But Mackenzie doesn’t need to hear about my problems right now.

A loud crack of thunder pierced the silence, causing Mackenzie to jump, clinging to the blanket. I reached over and grabbed her hand. “You know what helped me when I suffered from panic attacks? Besides the medication?”

Mackenzie’s wide eyes locked with mine as she shook her head.

“Distraction. Rather than stay inside my head, I’d focus on something else, like the colors of the leaves on a tree or the texture of the carpet fibers. Anything that would get me out of my head. Then I’d close my eyes and focus on my breathing, silently telling myself it’s anxiety and it will pass.” I explained and demonstrated the breathing technique I used.

Mackenzie stared at me for a few beats, making me nervous that I overstepped my bounds. Relief filled me when a smile crossed her face.

“Thanks for sharing that. I’ll try it.”

We sat beside one another on the couch, her small hand wrapped in mine. I turned on the TV to drown out the storm's noise, randomly searching for something she liked.

Stretching out beside her, I’m acutely aware of her nearness. Her fingers are still wrapped around mine, and her raspberry, amber, and roses scent wafted through my nose.Her divine aroma was alluring, yet a warning of what I could never have and shouldn’t want.

We watched the movie for several minutes before I felt Mackenzie’s eyes on me. “I hope I’m not keeping you awake?”

“Not at all.” I turned my head, sucking in a breath at the expression on her face. She looked content and happy.Jesus. I never want to see her sad or upset again.

I’m too affected by her. I need to put some distance between us before I do something foolish.

“I have an idea. Why don’t I make us some hot cocoa and snag that container of chocolate chip cookies you baked earlier? We can enjoy a…” I looked at the clock on the wall. “2 am snack. How ‘bout it?”

Surprise lit up her eyes, a grin playing on her lips. “I’d like that.”

Releasing her hand, I stood. “I’ll be right back.”

As I walked away, I exhaled a long breath, trying to get my emotions under control.

Was it my imagination, or did her light dim when I let go of her hand?

A few minutes later, I returned to the living room with two steaming mugs of cocoa and the cookies. I handed a mug to her and offered her some cookies. She took a couple, and then I turned to head back to my original spot on the couch, halting when her hand wrapped around my forearm.

Looking over my shoulder, Mackenzie’s cheeks were flushed. Patting the cushion beside her, her voice was hesitant. “I know I’m asking a lot, considering how I’ve treated you. Could you sit beside me? I-I feel better when you do.”

My heart melted as I stared into her pleading eyes, the vulnerability on her face reaching deep inside, making my decision for me. “Of course.”

I bit my lip to keep the smile off my face as I settled beside her. When she grabbed the blanket and spread it across both of us, I froze with my mug halfway to my lips.

“Thanks, Chase. For everything tonight.”

Although we stuck to lighter conversational topics the rest of the night and early morning, I felt the shift between us.

When I woke the next morning, Mackenzie’s head was on my shoulder, and she was clinging to my hand. I gently pushed a lock of hair from her eyes before going back to sleep.

My decision was made. I couldn’t leave her, no matter how challenging she was.

The memories fade as I return to the present, still standing beside the wrecked vehicle while Mackenzie is alone in the woods.

Mike’s words echo inside my head as I hurry after Mackenzie, her sobs guiding me like a rope tethering us together. “It’s going to take a helluva lot of patience, and it won’t be easy.”

My hands clench into fists as resolve fills me. I stride through the woods on a mission to catch up to her and make things right. I didn’t give up on Mackenzie then, and I sure as hell am not giving up on her now.

Nothing worth having is easy.

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