Page 59 of Tear of Destiny

“An ovlem,” Noah parrots in surprise. He runs his hand through his hair the way he often does when he’s thinking hard. “Well, they’re always roaming around in the Odyss. He must have been watching you and assumed you were an easy target. They’re constantly chasing the next dying breath.”

So that’s what he was after.

“But I wonder what Frances was doing there. Why was she at the doors? And why didn’t she mention this to me?”

I can see this hurts him, and I get it. Until recently, he was her closest confidant, and now she no longer seems to want to tell him everything. Does it have something to do with the fact that Noah and I became intimate? I’m sure it wasn’t easy for her to see that.

“Since Travis’ conviction, she’s been pretty withdrawn,” Noah explains. “I think the whole trial and especially the execution really shocked her. It wasn’t easy for any of us.”

So Travis is dead. That’s what the ovlem was talking about.

“I can understand if that affected her. I mean, she’s supposed to become an Assembly member someday, just like you. And then you guys will have to make those kinds of decisions. Not a very nice thought.”

Noah nods slowly. “I’ll talk to her.”

“Do that,” I say, looking up at him briefly. There’s nothing left to discuss, so I continue walking.

“Goddammit, Teresa,” he snarls, following me and grabbing my arm. “Don’t run away. You know we need to talk. About us. You can’t avoid me forever. You’re so damn stubborn, you know that?!”

“And you lied to me and manipulated me, you know that?! You wormed you way into my life just to try to convince me to switch sides. Is that what your people did with Frida too?”

He shook his head in resignation. “I told you; I didn’t know your great aunt. But I did offer to try to find out more about her, which you refused.”

“I don’t want you to take any risks for my sake.”

“Damn it, Teresa,” he curses.

He looks desperate, and part of me is sorry to see him like this.

“I just need some space to digest everything.”

I pull out of his grasp and keep walking, but a few seconds later, I hear footsteps again. He catches up to me, unwilling to let me walk away. He grabs me and turns me around to face him again, pulling me in close. I’m pressed up against his chest, looking into his face. His fingers cup my cheek, caress it.

“I already gave you long enough to think it over. But you only hear what you want to hear. You’re unbelievably important to me, and you should know that by now. My feelings for you changed. Sure, at the start I was prepared to do whatever it took to convince you to become a Noctu. But at some point, that plan took a back seat. All I care about is you. Nothing will change how I feel about you, whether you become a Noctu or stick with the Tempes. I just want to be with you. Do you seriously think, after all this time, that I’m faking it? Do you think my feelings for you are a lie?”

I’m so close to him; I feel his firm grip on me, smell hiswonderful scent, and recognize that spark in his eyes. Part of me believes him, but is that enough? I’ve had so many disappointments.

“Don’t do this to me just because Ayden keeps screwing up,” he murmurs.

I shiver runs through me. The temptation is so strong just to lean on him and give in to the longing. Am I really too stubborn? Am I really just denying myself something good because I’m scared? Am I looking for evidence that he’ll do the same thing to me as Ayden? It’s true that it’s not fair to make him suffer for what Ayden did. But has he really behaved so differently? Noah manipulated me too, to try to gain my trust. On the other hand, I sense that he means what he says. He abandoned his plan of winning me over to the Noctu. Obviously, he’d be glad if I changed my mind anyway, but if I remain a Tempes, he can live with that. Or so he says. But I still have this fear. It’s warning me to be careful. What if I get hurt again? I know there’s no way to be completely safe from that, but what happened with Ayden really ripped the rug out from under me. I couldn’t take that a second time. Not now.

“Tess,” Noah continues, stroking my cheek with his thumb. “I know this is hard for you, but you can trust me. Give me this chance. I was always there for you; always helped you. You know I won’t let you down.”

“Do I know that?” I murmur.

He hesitates, his fingers tracing the contours of my lips, and then shakes his head. “I guess not. And no matter what I say, it won’t make my promises to you any truer. But you can’t run from your feelings forever. Someday you’ll have to take a chance, and I hope I’ll be the one you take a chance on. You’re strong, and running away is not your style. I know that much about you.” A smile appears on his face and slowly steals into my heart.

I still don’t know what to do. But my body seems to havedecided because my right hand is already moving toward him. It slowly strokes his cheek, runs along his jaw, his neck. Noah has always been there for me, and he means so much to me. Maybe this can be a fresh start with him. I know it won’t always be easy, but I can’t keep hiding from this. This is right. And I don’t want to run from my feelings anymore.

“Tess,” he murmurs, holding my gaze. His hand wanders to the back of my head, caresses my hair, and then pulls me a little closer to him. With a pounding heart, I let it happen. I feel his lips on mine and give myself over to the intoxicating feeling. Yes, this is a new beginning. From now on, I’ll look to the future.

It’s late when I arrive back at school. I feel so much better than I have in a while – kind of jaunty and happy. I’m with Noah now. I’m happy to say it, and I mean it with all my heart. It’s time to put the past behind me, and this is the right way to do that.

I’m opening the entrance door with my key card when I hear footsteps behind me. I turn around and part of me instantly wishes I didn’t. Then again, we’re going to keep running into each other. I’ll have to get used to it eventually.

“You’re out a lot lately,” Ayden observes. It doesn’t sound accusatory, more like he’s trying to make small talk.

“And you? Just got back from a deployment?”