Page 53 of Tear of Destiny

I spin around and see Noah slowly approaching. I keep an eye out for Rain, who must be around here somewhere. As usual, I can’t spot him. But I can see Yoru clearly, peering out from behind a tree. He’s watching me, and he can probably guess that I’m about to leave him behind again.

“You don’t need to put so much pressure on yourself. I keep telling you that. It can’t be rushed; you need to allow yourself time.”

I snort but refrain from arguing with him. We’ve already had this discussion so many times. So I just say, “I know,” and walk toward him. “Let’s go.”

He nods, takes out his key, and together we step through the door. I’ve been this way so many times recently that I’ve learned to avoid a hard landing. I glance around. But this time Frances is nowhere to be seen. Since she played the flute for us, she only joined us a couple more times, which surprised me. She doesn’t like to let Noah out of her sight, especially when he’s with me. The few times she accompanied us, she sat on the ground, watching us with a bitter expression and her arms folded. Was it just too boring for her? Or maybe too strenuous because we never know how much time we have here in the Odyss? Twice, Rain has picked up the scent of the fallen, and we had to leave abruptly.

I have no idea what’s up with Frances right now. But I shouldbe happy that she stopped coming with us, because I can concentrate much better without an audience.

I position myself, take a deep breath, and extend my arm. The golden threads appear as if out of nowhere – I don’t need to take out the flute anymore. I focus all my attention on this one door, seeing it clearly in front of me, and try to imagine that it’s attached to an elastic band. Then I pull.

My hand trembles and my jaw muscles ache. So does my arm, which feels as if there’s a ton of weight pressing down on it. I feel my strength ebbing away and clench my teeth.

Noah notices the effort I’m expending and moves a step toward me. “Teresa, take a break if it’s too much. It’s better to try again later rather than sap all your energy.”

But I can’t. It feels like the door is moving very slightly. I can’t give up now.

“Tess,” he whispers beside me.

My whole body is shaking now. I feel dizzy, and my surroundings seem to darken a little. A dull ache spreads through my body, right into my bones. And it’s intensifying, growing sharper. I sway.

“Teresa, please,” Noah whispers, putting his hand on my arm. He runs his fingers along it, lightly and tenderly, as if trying to memorize every inch. When they reach my hand, his fingers wrap around mine, and he pushes them down toward the ground. “That’s enough Tess. Give yourself a break.”

My heart races, pumping adrenalin around my body in response to his touch. There’s this tingling sensation inside me, and I’m not sure if it’s right to feel it or if I want to. I’m not even sure where it’s coming from, and I don’t want to know. Maybe that’s why I react irritably, turning around and snapping, “Don’t interrupt me! I’ll never succeed if you keep holding me back. I was almost there. I just know it. I’m so close!”

Noah looks at me without a word, and I’m not sure howto interpret his expression. Worry? Disappointment? Anger? Longing? I don’t know, but I can’t think about that right now. I turn around, take a deep breath, and get back to work.

“Stop!” he snarls at me, grabbing my arm and spinning me around to face him. “You’re making yourself sick. That’s all you’re doing. I’m worried about you; don’t you get that? You’re so stubborn. I know how much you want this, but you’ll never achieve anything with this approach, and I’m not going to stand by and watch you wear yourself down.”

I shake my head and swallow hard. Noah is so close that I can feel his breath on my skin. He doesn’t let me dodge his gaze, and I sink deeper and deeper into those wonderful eyes flashing with determination. The gold and brown flecks in them sparkle so beautifully that I can’t look away. He reaches out and runs his hand through my hair, across my cheek. I still can’t look away, and I find myself asking why I should. Why should I fight this part of me, which knows exactly how it feels?

“Tess,” Noah murmurs, and I open my lips slightly to capture his breath. I’ve been fighting it for far too long, and I’m tired.

He touches his thumb to my lips and gently traces their contours. My heart pumps my hot blood around my body as I try to catch my breath. Our eyes are locked as if silently calling to each other. And I guess that’s how it is. For so long, we’ve had this yearning for intimacy and always been afraid. I want that to change.

“Tess,” he murmurs again, leaning forward slightly. I close my eyes and feel his lips on mine. They melt into a sweet, tentative kiss, which quickly intensifies. I open my lips for him, bury my hands in his hair, and pull him closer to me. It’s so incredibly good to feel him like this. And the tingling sensation he sets off in me, this quiver, the longing that’s finally being fulfilled.

Noah’s hands are on my cheeks, and he caresses them with his fingers while holding me firmly, as if he’s afraid of losingme. Our tongues touch, and for a blissful moment, I forget everything around me. I look at him, my eyes misty with happiness, and then I flinch for a moment. Back there in the darkness: a pale face. I’ve seen it once before. The eyes so empty, dull, and huge. And so maniacal that they frighten me. But I blink and the figure is gone, and now I’m not sure if I just imagined it.

“Tess, are you okay?” Noah asks, trying to catch my eye again. His fingertips touch my cheek, tender and full of promise.

I nod slowly. “Sorry. I… I don’t know what came over me.”

“It’s okay. I know this isn’t easy for you. And just now, between us… maybe it wasn’t the ideal moment. But I’ve had feelings for you for a long time.”

I hear the honestly in his words, and I feel close to him. I trust Noah, and when Ayden disappointed me the first time, I wanted to try with Noah. But then he told me the truth about himself and attacked Ayden.

I guess he can see that it’s a lot for me to process, and he lifts my chin.

“Tess, look at me. I can see the doubt in your eyes. Do you want to tell me what you’re thinking?”

“About everything that’s happened between us,” I admit. “About what you used to say to me back when we were first getting to know each other – that you had plans for me. But also all those times when you were there for me and how important you’ve become for me, how much space you take up in my thoughts, and especially in my heart. I want to be with you,” I say, resting my head against his chest. Yes, that’s what I want. I want a new start with the person I trust.

“I’ve tried to deny it for so long. I know I’m taking a risk and that it’s a risk for you too.” His fingers are still caressing my face, my neck, my hair. It’s as if he can’t get enough of touching me, and I feel the same. I want to be close to him, feel his body andexplore every part of him. “I can’t help it, no matter how hard I try. I want to be with you,” he continues.

I look up and see a flicker of longing in his eyes. This time it’s me who leans forward and kisses him, passionately and filled with this blind, crazy desire. I don’t ever want it to end. This moment is simply perfect, and I want it to last forever.

But of course it doesn’t. Noah lets go of me and looks at me. I see sorrow in his eyes. Something that wasn’t there a moment ago. Or did I just refuse to see it?

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