Page 35 of Tear of Destiny

Noah swallows and nods.

“It’s… over between me and Ayden. He made that pretty clear. And if I keep running to him with all of my problems, neither of us will ever move on. In the long run, it would only cause more pain.”

“Tess,” Noah says softly.

I shake my head and try to push Ayden’s face out of my mind. This has to stop. I quickly change the subject. “I can’t help wondering whether Patricia was telling the truth. Is it really my destiny? Will I find the answer to my questions in the goddesses’ library?” I sigh loudly. “I don’t think I’ll find any peace until I can answer that.”

“You want to search for the library?” Noah asks in astonishment.

I nod. “What do I have to lose?”

Noah doesn’t look convinced.

“Yeah, I know, it could be a trap. She obviously wants me to do just that. Maybe something bad will happen when I find the library. But…” I rub my forehead thoughtfully. How can I describe this feeling? “I don’t think that’s how it will go down. It feels like she’s telling the truth. This library is significant, and I’ll find something decisive there. Something that can answer my questions.” I study his face. “Does that sound stupid?”

He thinks about it for a moment, then shakes his head and pushes a strand of hair out of my face. “Not at all. And I’m happy to help you if you’d like.”

I smile tentatively. “I could probably use your help.”

He nods. “There used to be a library in the goddesses’ temple years ago. But when the Tempes turned against the goddesses and the conflict between them and the Noctu began, the library was completely destroyed. I think only a few of the books were saved. I assume they’re kept in the small hall. I can take a look there and in the place where the library used to be.” He shrugs.“Not sure I’ll find anything.”

I’d like to take him up on his offer, and it’s probably the most sensible course of action. But part of me can’t. Some voice inside me is practically screaming at me that I need to be there. I need to see it with my own eyes. No matter how dangerous it is to venture back into the world of the Noctu.

“I need to come with you,” I say. “I know it’s dangerous, and I also realize it’s asking a lot of you.”

I vividly remember my recent visit to the Odyss when I insisted on accompanying Noah to the shrine to see with my own eyes which name would appear on Frida’s ring. One of the fallen could show up again, like they did then. I gulp. Am I doing the right thing? What if I’m just getting Noah into more trouble? He’s the last person I want to burden. And I swore to myself that I’d never put anyone in danger again. But I can’t do it without him.

“I get it,” he replies. “Come with me if you want. I’ll make sure nothing happens to you.”

There it is again. Why do I always have to let other people take care of me? Will I ever be able to stand on my own two feet? I’ll have to leave Yoru behind when I visit the Odyss, again. So I’ll be dependent on Noah, again. Is that what I want? But I feel it in every fiber of my being – I need to be there in person. My head is spinning. I can’t think straight.

Noah puts his finger under my chin and forces me to look at him, into his dark eyes, which are so trusting, and I feel I know like the back of my hand. His gaze is warm and tender, full of confidence, like a promise. And suddenly, it’s all too much. I shake my head, as if I could somehow shake out all the confused thoughts and feelings. I feel the tears coming, and although I try to fight them back, they well up and stream down my cheeks. Noah pulls me toward him. I smell him and feel the warmth of his skin. I let him put his arms around me and giveme comfort and support. My head rests against his firm chest, and a feeling of security envelops me. And I can’t hold back. I cry like I haven’t cried in a long time. Everything bursts out of me: my disappointment about Frida, the horrible way Charles used my mother, Mr. Brian’s hostility, my feeling of helplessness in relation to Patricia, my worry about whether my next steps will be the right ones. And my pain at losing Ayden. He’s gone forever, I know that now, and it almost tears me apart. But I have to let go.

Noah just stands there and holds me. And that’s exactly what I need right now: a friend, who’s just there. Someone to catch me as I’m about to fall. Someone who’s incredibly important to me and whom I never want to lose. Someone I want to open up to.

I wipe the tears from my cheeks; the sobbing slowly fades, and I gradually calm down. Weirdly, I don’t feel uncomfortable at all about breaking down in front of Noah. It felt good, and I’m so grateful to him.

“How do you feel?” he asks.

I nod slowly. “Better.”

“Should we take this opportunity and go now?”

I’m surprised. I didn’t expect him to want to go right away. But I’m eager to get closer to solving this thing. So I nod.

I slowly let go of Noah, which I admit is surprisingly difficult for me. Part of me wants to enjoy this closeness a while longer.

“You’re not serious, right?” a voice hisses at us.

I know exactly whose it is. I slowly turn around and groan quietly. Just what I need right now.

Chapter 16

There’s no way you can take her back to the Odyss again. Are you insane?! Have you forgotten that she’s our enemy?” Frances stomps angrily toward us. Will she ever stop sneaking around after Noah?

He rolls his eyes and turns to face her with a scowl. “Frances, I get that you’re worried about me. But it’s none of your business.”

“You are my business,” she snaps. “You’re my friend. I even lived in your house while my parents were away. Wasn’t Travis’ trial enough of a wake-up call? Do you still not get what happens to people who fraternize with the enemy?!”

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