Page 3 of Tear of Destiny

“So it wasn’t a dream,” I realize.

“No, although I wish for your sake that it was,” says Noah, who’s standing behind me. He comes to join me. “Do you feel rested?”

“How long did I sleep?”

“Almost a whole day.”

I’m stunned. “What?!” That makes nine days in total. I need to get back. “My mother must be worried sick.” I jump up, but I instantly feel light-headed and almost black out.

Noah catches me and sits me down again. “Take it slow. Don’t overexert yourself,” he warns. He opens a backpack and hands me a bottle of water, some bread, and some apples. “Have something to eat and drink first.”

I don’t need to be told twice. I tear off a piece of bread and slowly begin to eat it, soon realizing how starved I am. I devour everything Noah has brought and feel a lot better after the meal.

“Did anyone see you when you went to get this stuff?”

He avoids my eye but then answers truthfully, “Frances. She was starting to wonder where I’ve been for the last week, and she was looking for me. She was happy to see me. I guess she figured I’d been taken out by the Tempes.” The wry smile on his face softens his words a little.

“And she didn’t want to come straight here and bawl me out?” I inquire. “I mean, she can’t be happy that you’re helping me.”

Noah laughs. “She prefers this to the idea of you roaming around in the Odyss as one of the fallen. So she promised to watch my back.”

That surprises me, but I’m glad we don’t have to worry about her.

“I can’t stop thinking about some of the decisions I’ve made and things that went badly,” I admit, recalling the moment when I gave in to that voice – but also other things, for example, when Ayden caught me off guard reading Noah’s message on my phone. “What was it you wanted to tell me?” I ask. “When you kept calling and leaving all those messages?”

“I found out that the Tempes weren’t onto us. A Noctu was selling information to the Tempes in return for dying breaths. I just wanted to give you some peace of mind and tell you that I was trying to find out more.”

I nod. I found this out myself in the meantime. Charles was the Tempes who had dealings with a Noctu. But that’s irrelevant now.

Noah and I say nothing for a while, and I know we’re coming to the question he’s burning to ask. And then he finally asks me.

“Are you going to tell me what happened?”

I take a deep breath, unsure if I actually want to tell him and relive the horrible memories. But he deserves the truth, and I can’t run away from it forever.

“A while back, I went too far in training and suddenly had this feeling of freedom, as if a weight was lifted off me. That feelingkept coming back and kind of calling to me. I’ve really struggled to process everything that’s happened in the last few weeks and months. And I guess that made me susceptible to the temptation to keep pushing the boundaries.”

In my mind, I revisit all the things that have happened. I see the faces of those involved, hear their voices and feel the intense pain. And then Ayden comes to mind. I see him lying in bed, the sheet covering his lower half, his naked torso. He looks so beautiful, so familiar. And then I see Max lying beside him. I hear her voice, her justifications, her arrogant tone as she tells me that our friendship was all a pretense. But what’s far worse is Ayden’s expression when he wakes up and sees me. That horrified look and his shocked voice saying, “Fuck, Teresa.”

He wasn’t expecting me. Of course he wasn’t.

“Ayden cheated on me,” I say to Noah. “With a girl who I thought was my friend. But she was only trying to get to him through me. And as sad as that is, in the end it worked.”

Noah raises his eyebrows in astonishment but says nothing. He puts a soothing arm around me and gently pulls me into a hug. His warmth envelops me and gives me a sense of safety, calm, and peace, things I haven’t felt in a long time.

“You probably think I’m pathetic for letting it get to me like that and almost letting myself turn into one of the fallen.”

Noah quickly shakes his head and puts his cool fingers on the back of my neck in a gentle, soothing caress. A faint shiver runs down my spine.

“No, I don’t think that. I can’t believe they did that to you, and I can understand how that pushed you to a point where you felt you couldn’t go on. We all know this battle.”

And I guess I’m going to have to fight it over and over again. But hopefully next time, I’ll be better prepared and able to resist it.

“You should stay here a few more days,” Noah suggests. “Rest up and get your strength back and maybe take some time to getyour head straight.”

I have to admit it’s a tempting offer. I get a stabbing pain in my heart at the idea of seeing Ayden and Max again. I don’t even know if I’ll want to talk to him, let alone what I would say. No, I guess it’s best if I steer clear of him for a while. What words could he possibly find, what could he say to me to justify what he did? There’s nothing!

Noah holds me tight, and I feel his breath in my hair. I’m strongly tempted to accept his offer – to hide from my problems a while longer, take some time out and not have to think about anything. But the very thing that seems so attractive right now is what almost turned me into one of the fallen a few days ago.

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