Page 28 of Gingers Can Do Maths

It’s so much brighter than beneath the table, and I can see more of Han’s features, more of what’s swirling in his teal eyes as I sink my fingers into his shoulders.

Suddenly some of the fog has left me and with the stark light, a starker reality begins to settle in.

Suddenly I’m less bold.

“Are you sure?” I ask, my heart beating wildly as I eye his glistening cock before searching his eyes again.

“Would I have buried my face between your legs if I weren’t sure?”

That’s because you don’t know I’ve lied to you this whole time.

“I just don’t want to give you another reason to hate me.”

“I don’t hate you, Sin. If you think I’d let you sink raw onto my cock if I hated you, if I didn’t trust you, then you’re insane. I have no doubts...but if you do—”

I shake my head. “I don’t. I want this. I’ve always wanted this.”

“Then take it. Be a good girl and take my cock.”

His fingers dig into my hips, lifting me and I reach between us to settle his head at my soaked entrance. It’s pure euphoria for the first few centimetres then...then it’s pure hell.

It burns and not in a good way.

It feels like he’s shredding me in two as we come up against my barrier.

Han’s wide eyes fly to mine, his grip stopping my descent and so do I as I tip-toe to relieve the pressure. “You’re still a virgin?”

I need a moment before I can speak, tears welling in my eyes from the pain.

“I promised you my firsts didn’t I? Even if you meant it in another way, I still promised it to myself.”

“Yes but...we were kids,” he whispers, squeezing me tighter. “No one’s tried?”

“They tried. I wouldn't let them.”

“Why? Promises aside.”

“Because they aren’t you. You hating me for the past three years hasn’t ever stopped me from loving you. Wanting you.”

The pain in his expression pulverises my thundering heart.

“I thought I was suffocating you?”

“I just said that. I lied.”

“Why?”

“It’s easier than the truth.”

“What truth?”

I know I’m about to ruin everything, all over again but if I don’t tell him now, when?

I attempt to get off him with a wince but he holds me tighter.

“You won’t want to touch me after I tell you.”

“I’ll decide that.”

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