Everything in me warms.
“Are you off work?” I ask.
He hums his assent. I wasn’t sure he would be, considering it’s harvest season. Ellis puts in long hours this time of year.
“How’s the corn picking?” I tease. He doesn’t actually pick by hand, but there are a few small farms in our town that do handpick their sweet corn.
He grunts, and I laugh.
“I saw the lights,” I say softly, watching the cars pass by below. It feels almost strange being back here in the city after spending a few days in the wilderness, where everything was hushed and white.
Ellis hums. “Tell me.”
“I wish you could have seen them, El.God, was it beautiful. I don’t even know how to describe it.”
“Try,” he says gently, sounding as if he’s taking a seat.
I turn and sit down below the window, imagining him beside me. “It was like brush strokes. Like paint being splashed across the sky. Except the color didn’t stick. It was a constantly changing canvas. A million pictures in such a short period of time, each one breathtaking and fleeting. It almost felt…”
“What?” he asks when I don’t go on.
“It almost felt wrong to photograph it. Like… I was trying to capture something not meant to be contained.”
Ellis is quiet for the longest time.
“You okay?” I ask.
He makes a small sound. “Miss you is all.”
My chest squeezes tight. “I’ll be home soon.”
“I know.”
“I miss you, too.”
“I know,” he says again.
Other words sit at the tip of my tongue—three big words in particular—but I don’t say them. It’s not fear holding me back. We’ve saidI love youbefore, after all. But not like this. And I won’t…I won’t do it likethis.
Glancing over at Danil’s form, I lower my voice. “What are you wearing?”
There’s a pause. “Jeans.” It sounds like a question. “And my work shirt.”
I bite my lip. “Do you want to get out of them?”
Another pause. “I’ll shower later.”
“No, I mean…” I clear my throat, praying Danil is asleep, otherwise I’ll never hear the end of this. “Are you alone?”
There’s a hum, and then a new voice chimes in from further away. “What? Is that Lucky you’re talking to? I don’t know what you… Oh, sure. Hi, Lucky.”
I slap a hand over my face, laughing against my palm. “Tell your mom hi,” I mumble.
He does, and I shake my head, unable to fight my smile.
I drop my hand. “Ellis, can you go to your room?”
He grunts, and I wait. A door shuts.