Page 73 of To Catch a Firefly

I was eighteen when I shattered glass for the first time and told you to go. You didn’t listen, not that time. You stayed for me because I was hurting. Because, maybe, you knew I needed you. I still need you, but I let you go. You said you’d come back. You promised.

I believe you.

I’m scared, Luck, but I love you more than anything. I love you, I love you, so please, my beautiful firefly, fly back to me soon. Come back, that’s all I ask.

Keep coming back to me.

I consider delivering it. For a moment, my cursor hovers over the button, and I almost click send. But then I save it to my drafts folder like all the others, knowing the first time I tell Lucky I love him, it won’t be when he’s miles and miles away.

“Ellis, I’m so sorry,” Gabby says, her eyes creased in worry. She’s wearing jeans and a yellow shirt today, and her dog, Toodles, is sitting on her lap. There’s an iced tea on the coffee table in front of her that I poured when she showed up, but she hasn’t touched it.

I shake my head. “Okay.”

“Still,” she goes on, “you wouldn’t have been out there if it wasn’t for me. When I found out what happened…” She trails off, face pinched. “I feel terrible.”

“Not your fault,” I assure her. The tornado could just as easily have touched down around here. “Toodles?”

“She’s fine,” Gabby says, rubbing between her dog’s ears. “One of my neighbors found her a few streets over after the storm cleared. She was huddled under some bushes at the side of a house. Gave me quite the scare, but…she’s okay.”

I nod, and Gabby sighs, petting her dog in a way that seems self-soothing.

“Ellis,” she says quietly, her expression almost sheepish. “Is there any chance I could make it up to you? Maybe take you to dinner? My treat.”

For a moment, I falter. I suspect Gabby’s invite is more than friendly. But I’m not sure how to explain everything that’s happened between me and Lucky in the past few days, months, years, even—all of our history and the reasons why Gabby and I could never work. I don’t think I’d even have the words if I tried.

“Can’t, Gabs,” I finally say. “Not as a date.”

She nods, not seeming surprised but maybe a touch disappointed. “Can we still chat at work? I like talking to you, Ellis. Unless…” She huffs a laugh, looking down. “Unless I’m being a pain but you’re just too nice to say so. I’d get it, I—”

I reach over and tap Gabby’s knee, cutting her off as gently as I can. I shake my head and hold up a finger, and Gabby nods, chewing at her lip. I make quick work of grabbing my laptop, and then I type out a message, wanting her to understand. When I flip the screen around, she starts to read.

You’re not a pain, Gabby. Not in the least. I like our chats and your stories about Toodles and your gran. You’ve always been kind to me, and you don’t pressure me to be different than I am. I’d like to stay friends if you want that. I’m sorry I can’t offer more, but I’m already in love withsomeone else. Have been for a long time. I hope you can understand.

The smile on her face grows steadily until she’s looking up at me again. “Really?” she asks.

I’m not sure which part she’s asking about, but I nod yes to all of it, placing the laptop on the coffee table.

Gabby stands up, setting Toodles on the floor in the process, and the next second I’m being wrapped in petite arms and a waft of floral perfume. Tiny dog feet land on my leg, scrambling. “Do I get to ask about her?”

I pull back a little, confused.

Gabby’s eyesaregreen. They soften as she takes a seat next to me. Toodles jumps onto her lap. “The girl you’re in love with,” she says.

“Guy,” I correct.

Gabby’s eyebrows go up a little, but her smile doesn’t falter. “Do I get to ask about him?”

I nod, feeling a touch of heat cross my face.

“Does he live here?”

I shake my head slowly. “Travels.”

She purses her lips at that. “So I probably don’t know him then, huh?”

No.

“Can I at least see his picture?” she asks. “Oh, what’s his name?”

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