Page 34 of To Catch a Firefly

Danil goes still, watching me closely, and I look away, blinking as I try to listen past the pounding of my heart.

“A date,” my mom repeats. “Nice girl he works with. I hope for his sake, it pans out. He deserves a little happiness of his own.”

I can’t…

Ellis has a date?

“You deserve that, too,” she says. “Is there anyone you’re seeing back in New York?”

I try to answer her, but my voice won’t work. I have the distinct, overwhelming notion that maybe this is what Ellis feels like when his words won’t come. I nearly sob with the thought, heart aching, and I slap a hand over my mouth before I can bark an ill-timed laugh. What a time to realize how very muchnot overmy childhood crush I am.

Fuck.

“I, um,” I manage. “No, I’m not seeing anyone. And I didn’t realize…about the date, I mean. That’s good. For him.”

My mom says something else, but I’m distracted away from it by the arrival of our food. I thank the person before clearing my throat.

“Mom, I should get going. Danil and I need to be at the airport soon.”

“Of course,” she says. “Safe travels, sweetheart. And let me know the next time you’ll be visiting. It’s been far too long since we’ve seen your bright face around here.”

“Yeah, Mom,” I answer. “I’ll, uh… Maybe soon.”

I tell my mom I love her before hanging up, and then I set my shaking hand on the tabletop beside my plate.

“All right?” Danil asks, eyes creased in concern.

“I…”

How many days before we leave for Borneo? Six?

“I think I’m going to Nebraska,” I tell Danil.

His eyebrows rise, but I nod, more to myself than anything. Now that I’ve had the thought, I know it’s what I need to do. I don’t even have a plan. I have no idea what I’m hoping to accomplish. But I can’t fly back to New York and sit around this weekend while Ellis…while he goes on a date with somenice girlhe works with who doesn’t know him like I do. What if she hurts him? What if…what if she doesn’t?

“Yeah,” I say definitively. “I’m going to Nebraska.”

Danil pulls out his phone. “Let’s see how quickly I can get our flights changed.”

“Our?” I say in surprise.

My coworker’s grin is wickedly charming. “You didn’t think I’d let you do this on your own, did you?”

I don’t question how Danil knows what I’m doing when I don’t have a clue myself. I just nod, dig into my sandwich, and hope our plane lands us in the sea of maize and green as soon as humanly possible.

“Well, this is…” Danil starts, looking around as I drive us into town. It’s been a long day of travel, and that, in conjunction with the jet lag, has my body ready to give up the fight. But my mind is wired, and my fingers tap incessantly against the steering wheel as we get closer and closer to my parents’ house.

“It’s what?” I ask, distracted.

“There’s just so much corn,” Danil says.

I bark a slightly hysterical laugh. “Told you. It’s an agricultural town.”

“Is that a store up there?” he asks suddenly. “Can we stop?”

“Dani,” I groan, failing to keep the desperation out of my voice. I need to keep moving. I need…

“Five minutes,” he says. “Please, Lucky-boy. You didn’t let me grab anything on the way out of the airport.”

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