Page 10 of To Catch a Firefly

I wonder, when he’s done getting his picture, if he’ll be able to see the world spinning.

I wonder how many more revolutions Lucky will be in mine.

Chapter 4

Ellis

I was seventeen when things started to change.

“Look at this one,” Lucky says, showing me the photos he developed from inside his closet. He turned the small space into a darkroom earlier this year. “Isn’t this neat?”

The picture is of Chimney Rock in western Nebraska. We drove out that way with his dad two weekends ago, visiting some of the more notable rock formations along that portion of the Oregon Trail. Lucky took this shot at night, such that it looks like the tall, pillared rock is holding the moon aloft. A streak of star-littered blue runs overhead, and the rest of the sky is black. It’s stunning.

“Luck,” I manage to say.

He beams.

Lucky wants to go into photojournalism. It’s an idea that’s stuck ever since he got it into his head a couple years back.

“It’s my ticket out of here,”he told me. Photojournalism could take him around the world. His remarkable life.

I think I knew he’d never stay.

Still, I cant my head toward the door.

“Yeah,” Lucky says, packing his photos away. “I’m ready.”

The pair of us get in my truck, and I lead us north. Lucky hums along to the radio as we drive, his window rolled down and his hair whipping around his face. The sight makes me smile, and when Lucky catches me watching, he sticks out his tongue.

As his hand weaves through the air outside the window, he says, “Did I tell you Jace wanted me to give him a blowjob behind the bleachers yesterday?”

I sputter, unintentionally twisting the wheel. Lucky laughs as I right the truck.

“I didn’t, obviously,” he says, and my heart rate starts to come down. “The guy’s a dick whose dick I want nothing to do with.”

Jace is one of the guys who used to hassle Lucky. Not anymore, but he’s certainly not out, as far as I’m aware. Lucky is alone in that respect.

“I told him if I can’t kiss him in the hall, I’m not going down on him behind closed doors,” Lucky says.

Jesus.There goes my heart again. At least he said no. The idea of Lucky with someone like that…

“Have you ever thought about it?” he asks.

I’m sure my eyes are wide when I glance his way.

He laughs again. “Notme, El. Have you thought about…you know. Getting with someone?”

Oh.

I shake my head because the truth is no, I haven’t.

Lucky hums. “I have.”

I squirm a little, not sure why thinking about that makes me so…unsettled. We’ve talked about sex before. Or Lucky has talked, and I’ve listened. Neither of us has had it. Lucky wants to.

“It’s okay, you know,” he says. “If it’s not something you’re interested in.”

I shrug.

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