Page 28 of To Catch a Firefly

Danil makes a soft sound, stretching his long legs out in front of him on the chaise. When he speaks, his voice is far away, as if he’s talking to only himself. “And high above, the moon sits round, and we, in its light. Waxing, waning, never gone. A gift to see the night.”

I look over at Danil as he brings his cigarette back to his lips. Smoke drifts lazily into the air when he blows it from his lungs.

“I forget sometimes,” I tell him.

“What’s that?” he asks, dark eyes meeting mine.

“That you’re a poet.”

He scoffs, arm resting on his chair. “I’m a journalist, not a poet.”

“But you have a way with words,” I counter.

And he does. Danil is a damn good journalist, as compelling in written word as he is in person. It never ceases to amaze me when I read his articles, that the fuckboy I know is capable of such insightful reporting. And—apparently—spontaneous verse.

“Do you like that, Lucky-boy?” he asks me lazily. “Is that what you’re telling me? Shall I whisper sweet nothings in your ear?”

I nearly scoff. “Sure, Dani. As if you need sweet words to woo me into your bed.”

He watches me for a moment, gaze narrowed, until something seems to click. “No,” he says slowly, stubbing out his cigarette. “For fuck’s sake, Lucky, don’t tell me you’re a romantic? I mean, you’re nearly as big of a slut as I am—no offense, of course—and that’s saying something.”

This time, I do scoff, but Danil is not to be deterred. He swings his legs to the ground, leaning my way.

“Why don’t you date?” he asks.

“What?”

“In all the time I’ve known you, you’ve not once gone on a date,” he points out.

“Why don’t you?” I combat.

“No, no,” he says. “This isn’t about me. I can’t believe I didn’t see it before, but you’re waiting for that perfect romance, aren’t you? That’s why you never let people in. That’s why it’s nearly impossible to get you to open up.”

“What are you talking about?” I ask him. I don’t shut people out, do I?

“No one can measure up to the ideals in your head,” he goes on, nodding to himself. “You’re a hopeless romantic, parading around behind a shield of flippancy.”

I flounder for a moment, completely caught off-guard by Danil’s assessment. “I’m not… You’re wrong.”

“Am I?” he presses, dark eyebrow winging up.

“Fuck, Dani,” I practically growl. “I’m not…” Frustrated with him or myself or who knows what, I throw my hands into the air. “Okay,fine, maybe I was a romantic once, but not anymore. It’s different when you’re young, you know? The world is this sweet, shiny thing and you think youknowhow everything is going to turn out. But then you grow up and realize real life is messy and unpredictable, and no guy is going to show up at your front door with two blue boutonnieres just to make you happy. Because seriously, who the fuck does that?”

Danil blinks at me as I suck in a breath. My heart is pounding, and I look away from him as the sound of city traffic filters up from below.

“That was incredibly specific,” he finally says. “Your Ellis?”

“Not the point,” I huff out, trying to clear the memory of sixteen-year-old Ellis in a rented tux from my mind. “Just…stop trying to psychoanalyze me. Plenty of people prefer casual sex to dating.” I give him a pointed look.

He ignores me. “You’re hung up on him.”

“I’m not—”Fuck. “I’m nothung upon Ellis. He’s just my friend.”

The whisper in my heart tells me I’m a liar.

“Then explain it to me,” Danil says. “Because I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but you talk about him every single day. You don’t talk about your parents that much or even our job. But every day, I hear about Ellis.”

I swallow roughly. “He’s my best friend, Dani,” I say, trying to get him to understand. “When I moved to Nebraska, he was all I had. I was in this new place with new people, andGod, I hated it at times. I hated that I didn’t have a say in my life being uprooted. In leaving my friends and everything I’d loved behind. But then…” I look out over the balcony railing, remembering that night I met my new neighbor in our sleepy Nebraskan town. “Then there was Ellis, and he made me feel like everything was going to be okay. I was safe, and I had someone who was just mine, and…and he was always there for me. Even still, he’s always there for me.”

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