Page 111 of To Catch a Firefly

Ellis points, and I follow his gaze. My dad is standing behind me in the doorway, holding a garment bag.

“Ellis dropped it off,” he says.

I grab it without a word, shaking my head again. But there’s a big smile on my face as I go change.

When I get back to the living room, Ellis is inside. My rented tux matches his, although his sits loosely around his tall frame,and for a moment, my breath catches. It’s not the first time I’ve looked at Ellis and felt my pulse pick up. It’s not the first time I’ve thought he looked handsome. It’s not even the first time I’ve felt the unmistakable flush in my body telling me what sort of things I’d like to do with my friend given the chance.

But it’s the first time I’ve seen a glimpse of the man Ellis will become. Not because of the tux. But because of the fact that he’s standing in my living room in the first place, ready and willing to accompany me to an event he has no interest in just because I told him I wished I could go. He’s kind and endlessly patient, and his heart is too big for his chest.

And I think…Fuck, I think I might love him.

He opens a small clear box as I approach and pulls out a flower. It’s the kind guys give their prom dates. Except, instead of a corsage, it’s a boutonniere. It’s blue, with white ribbon wrapped around the stem. He has a matching one on his jacket.

“For me?” I ask, aiming for teasing, if for nothing else than to hide the wobble in my voice.

He nods, looking to my mom. She comes over immediately, helping to pin the flower over my pocket. My heart thumps furiously the whole time.

“There,” she says, straightening my lapels. “You boys look beautiful. Here, let’s take a picture.”

Ellis and I stand in front of the couch, and without a word, he takes my hand. I can barely breathe, but I do my best to smile for the camera.

My parents tell us to have a good time before practically shoving us out the door, and Ellis and I head to his new truck. He opens the passenger side first before getting behind the wheel. The entire time we drive to the school, I can’t stop staring at the side of Ellis’s face, wondering what to do with this scary, warm feeling swirling inside my chest.

The auditorium is filled with our classmates when we arrive. There are banners strung along the walls, streamers hanging from the ceiling, and even balloons floating in clusters around the room. It looks like every picture or movie I’ve ever seen of a high school prom, and even though it may be cliché, I feel a little bit like a prince with Ellis by my side. I didn’t think I’d get the chance to attend my own prom night, but he made my dream come true.

Ellis and I get more than a few looks as we pass through the room, but he doesn’t seem to notice. He brings me over to the punch bowl first, offering me a drink, and then we sit at a table as our classmates dance and cheer and pair off in guy-girl combos. I convince Ellis to come with me to the dance floor a time or two, but he mostly stands still as the rest of us jump around in terrible rhythm.

Ellis doesn’t say much as the evening wears on, but I’m not surprised. He’s quieter in large groups of people. I’m just grateful he seems to miss the snide looks Brandon keeps shooting him. I flip the guy off when Ellis isn’t looking.

When it’s been a good hour since I last heard Ellis speak, I give him a nudge. “Hey, wanna get out of here?”

He cocks his head, asking if I’m sure.

“Yeah,” I tell him, giving his sleeve a tug. “Let’s go.”

Ellis follows me out of the auditorium into the cooler evening air. It’s dark outside, and music thumps quietly at our backs as we make our way to Ellis’s truck.

Halfway home, he says, “Didn’t want to stay?”

I smile to myself, just glad to hear his voice again. “I had a really good time, El. Thank you for bringing me. I just… I want to hang out with you now. Just me and you.”

He doesn’t say a word to that, but there’s a smile on his face, too.

Ellis parks out in front of his house, and we head toward my backyard, past the old tire swing to the edge of the cornfield. The wind is gentle tonight, and the leaves rustle softly as we walk past the rows of corn, no particular destination in mind.

“El,” I say, coming to a stop. He stops, too, facing me. “Thanks again. It’s not always easy being the only queer kid around, but you make it easy. So just thanks…for being my friend.”

He looks at my face for a long moment, his eyes skipping about slowly. Finally, he holds out his hand. “Dance with me?”

My throat clicks when I swallow. “Right now?”

He nods.

When I take his hand, it’s warm and dry. He steps close, one hand at my waist, the other twined with mine. I set my free hand on his shoulder, and then he starts to move. We rotate in a slow circle, the crickets chirping quietly around us. I can’t break his gaze. Can’t look away from those eyes, so dark in the night. Ellis doesn’t say a word, and for the longest time, neither do I.

We dance without music beneath a deep blue sky.

“If I ever get married,” I whisper, “I want it to be just like this.”

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