Page 53 of The Forbidden Bride He Stole

He had described it as if he had lost his virginity in a way, and she felt awed by that. It was weird to get closer to him with the aim of independence. Because the entire point of all of this had been to create a life for herself that was independent of her parents, of Apollo. It didn’t require her to step into the halls of her father’s company. And she was still dealing with a lot of complicated feelings around the revelation he had given her about her mother.

In order to deflect the thought she decided to call Mariana. It was late in Athens, but she knew that Mariana would still be awake.

“How is everything?” she asked without preamble.

“It’s going well. You’re right, the mismanagement at the property is pretty profound. But I have found several ways to improve it so far. I was preparing a report to send to you.”

“Thank you,” she said. “How is Pablo doing in concierge?”

“Oh, fantastic. The guests love him. Rocco is getting on well managing the outdoor activities.”

“Good.”

She didn’t really have hard feelings about Rocco. In fact, she wanted to prove it by giving him a job. They had spoken briefly last week. He had told her that he didn’t ever intend to scam her. She believed him. She also believed that life was complicated, and it was possible that he might’ve been tempted to take advantage of her had the marriage gone through.

It was for the best that she had gone off with Apollo.

But she still wanted to honor the friendships that she’d made.

“How is your marriage going?”

She sighed. “It’s not a real marriage.”

It felt like it, though. Or if not perhaps a real marriage, a real claiming, conquering, and consuming rolled into one. She’d downplayed her feelings to Apollo because they’d changed. They were fiercer, stronger than ever.

And had more power to destroy her.

This marriage wasn’t the shattered snow globe she’d first imagined it was. But it wasn’t...forever either.

“So you didn’t sleep with him?”

Her denial died in her throat. “We have.”

“Hannah! How come you didn’t tell me right away?”

“Because it all felt too big. It still does. And I know that it isn’t a forever sort of thing. It’s more just fantasy fulfillment. I mean, what’s better than getting it out of my system?”

“Is that what’s happening?”

“Yes. It has to be. He’s complicated. And complicated in a way that I can’t... I’m not going to be able to help him.”

“What do you mean help him?”

“He’s really damaged. By things in his past.” She was not going to list what they were. “And I feel for him. I really do. But I have enough issues. And... I don’t want forever with him. It would never work. You forget, I lived with the man... Sort of for many years. And it was like living with my parents. This kind of distance neglect. And even worse, that’s how he is emotionally. And he’s definitely able to connect in some ways.”

“Sexually.”

She didn’t tell Mariana, that for Apollo that was actually a really big deal. In fact, she felt guilty allowing that to stand as something that could be made light of. It wasn’t. Not for him. It was a big deal that he could let his guard down for sex. And maybe for a lot of men it wouldn’t be. Maybe for a lot of men it would be as easy as chasing an orgasm. Apollo could separate that from his own desire, from his own feelings. And she appreciated that. She appreciated that meant something different to him. That it did something different to him. But she also knew that beyond that wall, was another wall. He had told her himself, and she wasn’t an idiot.

“Yes. Sexually.”

And in those moments she felt held. For the first time in so many years she didn’t feel lonely. And she had spent so much time being lonely. But she knew that if she became dependent on him emotionally it would be just another jail cell.

She couldn’t trick herself into thinking that it could be something else.

“Hey, I’m all for taking what you can get in a physical relationship. But you do need to be careful.”

“How much more careful can I be?” she asked. “I mean, I am being realistic about it. I’m taking on board what he told me. Which is that he can’t fall in love. And again, I don’t want him to.”

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