Page 42 of The Forbidden Bride He Stole

“Twenty-one, I think,” he said. Except she could see that he didn’t think, he knew. With precision.

“That young? I didn’t think that you and Cameron really found your success until a few years after that.”

“We didn’t. But we had... A business of sorts. I went with a client.”

“I see.” But she didn’t.

And she was starting to get so tired it felt like a fathomless sea threatening to pull her under. She couldn’t see the bottom of his trauma. It was all darkness. She didn’t know if she had the strength to swim into those depths just now. It had been such a long couple of days and the subtle movement of the plane over pockets of air was beginning to rock her to sleep.

CHAPTER NINE

WHENTHEPLANEtouched down in New York, Apollo roused Hannah. She had slept for the entirety of the flight but he had not slept at all. She was such a strange creature. Digging and persisting into all these darkened corners, as if she was going to find something that would explain away... Him. As if she was going to find something that would give her answers about why he was the way he was. She wouldn’t find them. He knew that. It was so simple, he would’ve untangled all the aftereffects of his youth a long time ago.

He felt raw. After the conversation they’d had and he didn’t like that. He wasn’t used to it. She might not guess at what he was talking about, but it forced him to relive it. It reminded him of the boy he’d been a long time ago.

Someone he didn’t like to reflect on.

A young man who’d still been able to feel guilt and dirt and shame and disgust over what he had done.

And vulnerability. When he and Cameron had first gotten into the business of selling their bodies, many of the others around them who were doing the same took comfort in illicit substances.

“What’s the point of wasting the money we just made?”Cameron had asked.

Apollo understood why people did it, because he had wanted the memories to go away. He had traded himself for drugs just one time. But had felt sick with the feeling of failure after, and had only created a new memory he needed to hide from.

And that, he had realized, could be a dark road. One a bit too much like the one his mother walked. He and Cameron had made promises to each other. After that. They would maintain their control, they would run their own business, and they would keep their wits about them. It was important. So very important.

And gradually, he had learned how to manage his own vulnerability. Without the use of substances. It was just that he had never quite learned how to turn that off.

And if Hannah thought it would be so simple...

“Did I hurt you?”

He shoved that to the side. He had been worried about hurtingher. That was all. Using her. Because he had been in the space of lost control when he had taken her, and that was singular.

In a way that he didn’t wish to speak to her about.

“I like you.”

Her words echoed inside of him, along with his own dismissive response to them.

It had been a hideously unkind thing to say on his part. But he didn’t know what the hell else she wanted to hear. Something kind, he imagined. The kind words from him would do nothing for her in the end. Because it was nothing that he could maintain. It was nothing that he could spin into something of use to her.

No, he would continue on helping her. That was all he had to offer.

His business acumen. It was easy for him to imagine a world where the ties between himself and Hannah were finally cut. Where she went off on her own, and the only association they yet had was one made of business. But it made him feel adrift. And he hated that most of all. So he didn’t spend any time on it. Instead, when the plane touched down he watched her ride sleepily. She was so stubborn. Curling up on that couch instead of going to the bed. He would’ve carried her to bed, but he feared he would’ve made a disastrous choice after that. And he had no intention of taking things to that place. Not again.

She’d done something to him. Something painful, something wonderful. He didn’t want to experience either sensation so unfiltered ever again.

Even as he craved it.

His issues were his own. Getting that close to revealing them on the plane had brought them up to the surface and he wanted to protect himself.

But he could also see...

He had hurt Hannah. Her father had hurt her. He might want to keep his distance, but that didn’t mean he wanted her hurt.

All he had to do was redouble his defenses and he could get back onto better footing with her. Not the same footing they’d been on before.

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