Page 80 of Fighting Words

I freeze.So soon?

“Hold on, I’m going to change, okay? I’ll go with you. Let me just—”

I’m already taking the stairs two at a time, rushing into my room. I grab jeans and a sweater—the one with the least cat hair. My teeth are brushed in seconds. My hair isn’t brushed at all. I wrap it up in a clip just as I hear a car pull up outside.No.

I’m coming down the stairs fast. I won’t give Andrew the option to leave without me. He’s going back to Leeds today, and I’m not going to let him go alone.

He’s outside already, the driver loading his suitcase into the trunk of the car that delivered him here yesterday afternoon.

“Thank you,” he says before he looks up and sees me running across the snow.

“I’m coming with you.”

Andrew frowns. “You don’t need to. It’s a long way.”

“I’m coming.”

I turn to the driver. “Could you bring me back here after you drop him?”

Whatever the fare is, I’ll pay it. It’s worth it.

The driver agrees and I turn to Andrew. His mouth flattens into a line, and he doesn’t say anything before he gets into the back seat of the car, leaving the door open for me to join. It’s all the invitation I’m going to get.

We both understand that there is no false hope here. I’m not going with Andrew because I’ve slept off my indecision and come to my senses. I’m here because I want to hold his hand in the end, to comfort him the same way he would comfort me.

In the car, we sit on opposite sides, no one talking as the driver pulls back out onto the road. The cottage disappears behind us and I reach across the back seat and take Andrew’s hand in mine. This is the last time we’ll touch in this way. I know it and he knows it and when our eyes meet, I try so hard not to look sad.

We’re not two hearts breaking. I broke Andrew’s heart a long time ago, and he never had the power to break mine. This grief is complex and painful, but it has nothing to do with love. I feel sorry for having wasted Andrew’s time and for stringing him along, but the intention and hope was that us being together would always pay off in the end. Understanding Andrew isn’t the man I want to be with isn’t easy. I know that no matter how much I want to love him, I can’t talk myself into it. I will never make Emma happy in this way.

I squeeze his hand as he studies me.

“I’m sorry you came here.”

It hurts me to think about him going out on a limb like this, flying all that way only to be sitting in this car now. If I thought he’d accept it, I’d offer to cover the cost of his ticket.

He shakes his head. “I’m not.”

His tone is somber but solid. He really doesn’t regret it then. He’s an intelligent guy. I wonder how much he’s always understood about my feelings, whether it’s even worth mentioning the truth.

“I’ve been stubborn with you,” he admits with a ghost of a smile on his lips. “Hoping things would change.”

“I hoped too.”

“It was delusional to think you’d come around. I’ve been asking you to move in with me for a year. You haven’t said you love me in six months.”

I frown. “Has it been that long?”

We’ve only been on a break for half that time.

I wince. “I’m sorry.”

I could say it a thousand times and it still wouldn’t be enough. Andrew is such a good man and he’s capable of so much love.

“Emma will take it the hardest,” Andrew quips, trying to make light of the situation as he lets go of my hand and turns to face me.

Little does he know that’s the real wound exposed by our breakup. This will only further exacerbate my strained relationship with my sister.

“Should we talk about things? Rehash it?”

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