Page 57 of An Unfinished Memory

“You’re going to do your own thing?” I stuffed the envy down. I was doing what I wanted.

He shrugged. “I’ve got KOW and the kids. But maybe? Ivy’s asking about 4H. She’s talking goats.”

I chuckled. “Look at you. Opening the door to two cats, then a dog, and now goats. You’re going to have a hobby farm, not a ranch.”

He rolled his eyes. “Tell me about it.” But he was grinning. His late wife had hated animals. She’d disliked living in Buffalo Gully, and ranch life hadn’t been for her.

This life fit him better.

He’d moved to get it.

The thud in my temples returned. Cody was a financial guy. He wasn’t the deputy Ray was relying on to be sheriff.

“I should get going.” This time I stood up. “Thanks for the invite.”

“Anytime.” He rose.

I couldn’t just let tonight go. I was happy for him, and I needed him to know it—without admitting to how much I wished I could have what he did. “Crocus Valley looks good on you.”

“I can’t argue. It’s better for the kids and”—his fond gaze traveled in the direction of the bedroom where Tova was pampering herself—“for me. But they miss you and Eliot.”

“I’ll put a bug in Eliot’s ear. He’s gotta get off that ranch more.”

“Just him?”

“I get out of the house plenty.” The air between us threatened to grow heavy again. I couldn’t withstand more scrutiny of my life. I didn’t need to hear that Suttonwas right, and I was an idiot. That I should’ve channeled my dad and played dirty to make Sutton stay.

His stare turned contemplative. “I never thought you wanted to be a deputy.”

“There’s nothing else I wanted to do.”

“Did you even have time to consider, or did Ray tell you that you wanted to be a deputy, and that was it?”

Defensiveness heated the back of my neck. My brothers talked shit about Ray, as if they hadn’t been in the same house I lived in, getting treated like dirt by Barns. “He was the first one to think I could be something.”

“More than a rancher?” he asked, his eyes full of challenge, as if he was asking if I thought I was too good to work the land.

“Barns let me go to college, but we both know it wasn’t to do anything I wanted.”

Cody lifted a shoulder. “He didn’t fight you on being a deputy because it’d keep you close by. I don’t think any of us realized how committed you’d become.”

I worked for the county for more reasons than because it was one of the few careers Barns wouldn’t give me shit about. He’d probably thought I’d give up and go back to ranching. Ray’s confidence in me meant everything. He thought I could be more than the second oldest in a family of five. “Law enforcement is serious work. You can’t half-ass it, or you end up one of the bad guys.”

His stare turned assessing. “The badge isn’t branded into your chest.”

That was where he was wrong. “No, I wear it with pride.” I left, grateful to be done with the conversation, but wishing it’d have gone differently. Cody had a way of pursuing what he thought were important discussions orinsights. Usually, he hit on fucking finances, not my personal life.

The imaginary imprint in my skin burned the whole way to my pickup. I got in and took the gravel road to the highway. At the highway, I needed to take a right to head toward Montana. Going left would take me in the direction of Sutton’s.

I had no business going to her house. No reason.

The way she’d put her hand on her stomach was emblazoned in my brain. I knew how much pain she was in. She’d have gone home after the game, taken a long bath, doped herself as much as medically possible, and laid in bed with a hot pad. There was one other thing that helped her a lot, but she’d have learned to take care of herself without me.

I turned.

Sutton

I was in bed when I heard the garage door rise and then lower. Frowning, I stared at the dark wall across from where I was curled on my side with my arms pressed across my middle. My back was to the door of my bedroom, but I didn’t move. The door to the kitchen clicked open, then closed.

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