Page 32 of An Unfinished Memory

“Is that what it was like? Middle of a meal, and he had to go?”

I nodded. “I quit taking weekdays off because he’d have a meeting to go to even though he wasn’t scheduled. Or he’d be in court. Have to meet with the lawyer. All those extra tasks never seemed to line up with when he was working, and they all happened on his time off.”

“How often did he get called out?”

“At least once per day. They’re so short-staffed, and you know how he is.”

“I do.” She folded her arms. “Are you happier now? I was so damn worried about both of you, but lately you seem to be lighter.”

It was the orgasms. From her brother. The one I divorced and the one we were talking about, making me an awful friend. I bit the inside of my cheek until the bite of pain wiped out the building guilt. “I feel a lot better.”

“Was it dancing with all the cowboys at the street dance?”

Just one cowboy. “It didn’t hurt to feel wanted.”

“They all had their eyes on you. Whenever you’re ready to date again…”

When I pictured myself sitting in a restaurant across from a date, I saw a pair of dark brown eyes, ruffled hair that had been flattened and then had a hand run through it after a cowboy hat was taken off, and wide shoulders that were perfect to hang onto when he thrust into me.

Whew. I had to quit thinking of sex with Wilder, or I was going to blush furiously. Aggie would notice, and I’d have to lie again if she said anything.

“I’m in a good spot right now. I don’t know about dating.”

Was it relief that passed over her face? Was it weird for her to think of me and Wilder moving on with others?

Were she and Cody the reason why I dragged my feet when I was flirted with or asked out? Did I harbor a fear of going on a date and being seen by one of Wilder’s relatives?

I could latch on to the possibility, but I knew the truth. I entertained a secret fantasy I was ashamed to acknowledge and that was hard to escape. A dream that Wilder would pound my door down, tell me I was the most important person in his life, and he’d been too clueless to realize it. He quit his job, and he was giving up law enforcement, and he would wait on me hand and foot while I worked. He would promise to be home whenever I got done with work, and it’d be the two of us forever.

He’d proclaim that he chose me.

Did all divorced people wish for this?

“Are we doing darts this week?” I asked to redirect my thoughts.

“Hell yeah. I mean, as long as Tova’s not pushing out a baby, she’s in.” She grinned. “She and I have a bet going each week.”

“About what?”

“How much you and Vienne are going to get hit on each night.” She held two fingers up. “I bet two and two.”

Laughter sputtered out of me. “I don’t get hit on that much.” She gave me a look. “Okay, there are a couple of guys who keep trying with me and Vienne.”

“More than a couple.”

“Vienne, maybe. She’s a catch.” On top of dressing better than me and not melting into the surroundings when she was out, Vienne was more aware when it came to guys. Sometimes she flirted, other times, she blew them off. The combination made her even more desirable to them.

I hadn’t developed the social skills in high school because I’d been home so much, so I hadn’t made friends. Taking my awkward people skills to college and pairing them with a frantic drive to study as much as possible and intern at any vet clinic that would take me, I hadn’t been a social butterfly.

I’d been too focused on getting into vet school as a kid who didn’t have much exposure to veterinarians or a variety of animals.

Wilder had barged through all those barriers. He’d called me Doc and kept hitting on me until I got it through my oblivious head that the tall, dark cowboy might be into me.

“Both of you are a catch,” Aggie insisted, “but men are more intimidated by you. Vienne’s been around longer, and she dated Theo, so they know she’s open to going out. You’re a mystery.”

Unless I was at a street dance. And then Wilder had burst through the haze and rescued me.

Ugh. I had it bad. Good thing we had guidelines. Still,I was worried about him. His birthday had ended with him alone. Presumably.

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