Page 96 of An Unfinished Memory

Warmth spread through my body and went deeper than where I was pressed against him. “Hmm.” I pretended to think. “However could we pass the time?”

He carried me to the bedroom. I was laughing, but deep inside, down in a place I would ignore thanks to moments like this, the question popped up asking whether what we were doing was worth it. Would theseblissful moments that showed me what life could’ve been like with Wilder be enough to justify continuously parting ways?

A more important question took precedence. When would I see him again?

Twenty-Two

Sutton

Christmas and the New Year had passed, and each holiday had been Wilder-free. I spent Christmas at Aggie’s and sent two pans of frozen meatloaf home with Eliot as Wilder’s gift. Wilder had sent a small box with a note that told me to open it while alone. I had and found a red, lacy pair of underwear. While he’d been working on New Year’s Eve, he’d still called me at the stroke of midnight and told me his plans for taking that underwear off me and pocketing it.

January didn’t hold any more promises of getting together. He had a free weekend coming up, but he wasn’t confident he could get away. The closer Ray’s retirement was getting, the more demanding he was of Wilder’s time.

I wiped down the exam table. My vet tech had taken off early to get her daughter to basketball practice. Wilder would be going to basketball games in Buffalo Gully too.Ivy talked about trying basketball, and I was looking forward to seeing her games. I hoped I could see them with Wilder. We’d sat apart for the one game of Grayson’s we’d gone to together.

The irony was that Cody, Austen, Eliot, and Aggie all knew about us now, and we hadn’t had a chance to be a couple around them.

My phone started vibrating. Wilder. My thoughts had summoned him, but he was also on my mind all the time. Since the clinic was closed and the doors were locked, I put my phone next to the keyboard on the counter and hit speaker. “Hi. You’re on speaker, but I’m the only one here. There is a loopy Dachshund in the back who might eavesdrop. She thought the road was a good place to go for a stroll today, and she’s still medicated after surgery.”

“She gonna be okay?”

“Yes, thankfully. She was lucky.” I always liked how Wilder asked about my work and cared about my patients. I put the disinfectant away. “How’s it going?”

“Ray’s in a mood. I don’t know if he regrets his decision or if he’s doubting me, but he’s…being a dick.”

I’d always found Ray a little dickish, but I never thought I’d hear Wilder say something similar. “You only have a few more months.”

Wilder’s chuckle was dry. “I might get this office, but I don’t know how long it’ll take him to actually leave. He heard talk the Cleavers were going to encourage a family friend of theirs to run next year. A guy from Great Falls who’s been a detective for years. So that’s got Ray fired up.”

“But not you?”

“Eh, it is what it is. If my time here hasn’t spoken for itself, I’m not going to do tricks in front of the crowd.”

Wilder never used to talk like this. I thought he was ready to do what it took, but then that was what he’d been doing all along. “Isn’t that why they call this stuff a ‘dog and pony’ show?”

“I’ve gotten my share of horses ready for a show, and I’m not interested in switching places with them.” He blew out a hard breath. “Whatever. I’ll worry about it when the time comes. The interest in this position took him off guard, and he’s paranoid. I’m more concerned with learning what I need to know to do a good job.”

Ray was probably stressing that he wouldn’t be in charge of all the things soon. He was finally having to put up or shut up, but I also had a lingering animosity toward Wilder’s boss. I recalled all the times the guy had been dismissive when Wilder had talked to him about getting the schedule out in a more timely manner so spouses could plan their lives around call time. Ray had dilly-dallied longer. Why the hell had he been doing the schedule anyway? Once Wilder quit asking, then Ray handed the job off to one of the jailers-slash-dispatchers. The schedule was only one example of how Ray didn’t support his deputies beyond the job.

“Anyway,” Wilder continued, “I’m calling to say that I don’t know when I’m going to be down next.”

My hope sank like a stone. “We knew the winter would be hard.” And once spring hit, he’d be in his new job position. Our time together wouldn’t increase once the snow decreased.

“It’ll get better. I promise.”

Would he have held my gaze if he was here? Or would there have been a slight dip? He’d never made that promise before, so he must mean it. I ran what I knew ofhis schedule through my head. “What about Valentine’s Day?”

God, that was a little over a month away.

“About that…we just had someone resign. She’s done at the end of the month. Got a job in Billings with more pay and no call time.”

“Oh.” I knew all too well resignations meant overtime and more call trying to patch the gap an empty slot made. “That sucks.”

“I know.” His answer held dejection that had never been there before.

I wasn’t surprised, but my disappointment rang through me clear as a church bell. Dong. More challenges. Dong. He tried, and it still wasn’t enough.

I’d like to phone a friend. Complain and whine. That friend would be Aggie, but nothing would be accomplished other than finding an outlet for my upset. I could go home and hug a cat. After, I’d start tearing carpet out of the upstairs rooms in my house. I needed a project after all. “And here I was trying to lure you down to help me refinish the original hardwood floors in the bedrooms upstairs.”

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