Page 12 of An Unfinished Memory

“I’m guessing you have an evening shift tomorrow?”

I nodded, the spark of hope dimming. Her sardonic tone wasn’t encouraging.

“You work on the ranch before you have an evening shift,” she said flatly. “Don’t you need to get back?”

“I’ll leave in the morning. Eliot said he wouldn’t get back until the afternoon.” He’d return before noon. That was Eliot. I’d figure out when to get the towing favor done. As long as I didn’t cross paths with Eliot on the way to Buffalo Gully, no one would know I’d been here.

“Wilder, we can’t…” In the faint glow of the streetlights, her flush was visible. That magnificent mind of hers was policing our situation.

“We’re adults.”

She shook her head. “Your family has been extremely supportive. What would they think?”

My family would be upset with me. They’d think I was leading her on when she was the one who’d left a giant boot print on my heart when she walked out on me.

I stuffed the resentment down. I’d lived in enough regret. I was working on a few non-self-inflicted orgasms now. “They don’t have to know.”

She cocked a brow. “You want to sneak around and have sex?”

“Why not? If you meet someone you want to date, then we stop.”

She drew back. “Just like that?”

I wouldn’t be sleeping around in Buffalo Gully. I’d overheard myself compared to my dad enough after Sutton left. Being likened to Barnaby Knight wasn’t a compliment.Inevitable. The man is a lot like his dad, and that girl knew it. Good thing she got out before they had kids.

The familiar blister on my heart burned. The kids part hadn’t been intentional, and I hated to think that Sutton’s monthly disappointment was fate protecting her from me inevitably breaking her heart.

Secrecy would be paramount. I was close to getting some relief from utter loneliness, but I didn’t want to open the doors to speculation, critiques, or comments. I didn’t care to fall short in my family’s eyes or in the opinion of the public I worked with every day. I couldn’t have everyone speculating about Sutton. After she left Buffalo Gully, I’d walk into the gas station or grocery store and talking would stop. Then there were the comments from well-meaning people.

She’s not from around here. She doesn’t get our way of life. That was from Ray as if his comments made me feel better.

Good thing it happened now and not when you run for sheriff. That from my coworker Rusty Kaplan. He could be a real dick.

And then there were the random comments in the bar.She didn’t fit in here. Orshe was so quiet—not said in a speculative way, more like Sutton’s introverted personality was a fault. Or the one I really hated, often said by single women trying to chat with me and Eliot when we were out—You deserve better.

I was tired of my family and my personal life being a subject of conversation. An arrangement with Sutton wassomething I wanted for myself that no one else could intrude on.

“We would stop if we met someone else?” she reiterated.

“Just like that,” I said, repeating her earlier words. “And only between the two of us.”

She scrubbed her hands over her face. “No. It’s crazy.No,” she said again like she was trying to convince herself. “It’s not healthy. We can’t be fuck buddies. I can’t lie to your sister.”

I smothered my disappointment. My sister, Aggie, was Sutton’s best friend, and they grew closer each year. Then Sutton had relocated to Crocus Valley, where they could see each other all the time.

“You don’t have to lie. Just don’t tell her.”

“I can’t. It’s not right.” She patted along the door looking for the handle.

It was worth a try.

Yet, after being in her heat, having her come around me, this parting was so much more than asorry it’s not going to work. It was the finale. The end. The empty hole inside me from when she left yawned somehow emptier. But I wasn’t going to let her do a walk of shame from my pickup to hers in the dark.

“Sit.” I opened my door. “It’s still raining. I’ll drive you to your truck.”

Her sigh followed me as I hopped out and closed the door. I jogged around the back of my pickup to get behind the wheel. The street was quiet. I spotted Sutton’s Chevy pickup parked two blocks ahead.

Sutton scooted to the side I’d been sitting on. The door would be closer to her ride when I stopped, but the decreased proximity from me was likely the selling point.

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