Page 43 of Three Reasons

“I’m struggling, Teach,” he said rather than expanding on what I’d stated. Zero trace of flirting or teasing lined his face—he spoke of something deeper than the shared lust between us. “I’m so damn tired and incredibly unhappy.”

I sank onto the ground beside him, careful to keep space between us, thankful the sun still lit his grandparents’ part of the cemetery. “I’m a good listener.”

He chuckled quietly and turned back to face their headstone. “Believe it or not, Matteo, it’s your maturity that haunts my mind and makes me question my desiring you so desperately when I’ve always loved my freedom.”

I wanted to push for more of those feelings but bit my tongue. Was it from being off-limits? I didn’t believe so since a taste of me hadn’t quelled his yearning.

“It’s strange…” Sean plucked more grass and tossed it to his other side. “I’ve been a playboy my entire life, and this older guy ensnares the fuck out of my mind to the point work sucks.”

Again, I craved to question him, to get answers, but chose not to. “So you’re saying I make you unhappy?” I tried to help him explore where his emotions came from instead.

“Fuck no,” Sean muttered and lay back on the ground, legs stretched out and ankles crossed, his eyes focused on the cloudless sky above us. “Shit hit the fan for me and my brother’s business, and true to my weak-assed form, I’d backed out to let him handle the problem. I might have come up with a possible solution, but none of this would have happened if I hadn’t fucked up to begin with. I’m nothing compared to Micah—never have been. He’s the golden boy, and I’m the wild child who can’t do anything right.”

Empathy welled inside me as he bled his insecurities without hesitation to a man he barely knew. Who had caused him such low self-esteem? Both parents? One? Or did he simply compare himself to his older brother without prompting outside his own thoughts?

I doubted he lacked in any way. Sean Fox shone like the summer sun, brilliant and smile-inducing. He’d proven himself to be dedicated to his education even if he occasionally arrived a few minutes after I’d begun lecturing.

Katie had been much the same with low confidence, but she’d found peace and felt good while on her knees submitting to me. Would allowing my student to do the same give him the quietness of mind he sought?

Lust stirred in my groin, but I pushed it away along with the image of Sean before me, soaking up all the praise and edification I wanted to pour down over his head.

He huffed a sarcastic laugh, his eyelids shutting, forehead furrowing. “I decided to get my MBA to show Pop that I’m every bit a man as Micah is, but I’ll admit the hours, the workload, is a lot. My stomach burns all the damn time, like I’ve got an ulcer from anxiety. Can’t seem to catch up on sleep either. And don’t get me started on how much it sucks not having the energy to drag my ass to the gym these days.”

Even though pink tinted his cheekbones, the rest of his face was pale as it had been the previous month or so. His words assured me of what I’d suspected.

“Your persistence is admirable, and you’re doing well in my class,” I offered.

He perked up a bit, offering me the grin I’d expected from that tiny bit of positive reinforcement. “Only because I’m determined to prove to you that I can be a good boy.”

Fuck. I rubbed a hand over my mouth and tore my focus off his flirty gaze. A cool breeze slid over me, and I shivered along with the dead leaves on the tree to my left. He wanted to prove himself to me, same as he did to his father.

The poor kid was desperate for positive attention and affirmation, and I wanted to give it to him. Doing so, I knew from experience, would fulfill a part of me that had been buried along with Katie. I missed my wife, but I also grieved losing that caretaker piece of me along with her.

“Maybe you should lighten your course load,” I suggested rather than admitting my true feelings and flirting back like I wanted to. I half hoped he would drop my class so I could pursue the desire he’d unearthed inside me.

But Katie…

I pushed aside the guilty thought, sure in the deepest parts of me that she would…like Sean. Perhaps even approve of him since he made me smile again.

“I’m taking a break from work at Micah’s insistence.” Sean shifted on the ground, drawing my focus once more.

He’d closed his eyes, fingers laced behind his head. His hoodie pulled up enough a hint of skin peeked above his waistband.

My mouth watered, and I curled my hands into fists to keep from tracing over what I would have preferred to lick. Would his skin be salty? Sweet? Would he submit to my loving? Beg for more? Or would he allow me a taste before grappling for dominance?

A shudder rippled down my spine, and I bit my tongue to keep from emitting a moan.

“You’re staring.”

I jerked my eyes back up to Sean’s face.

Those blue orbs of his laughed at me—called me out with a knowing glint. “Tell me about your wife, Matteo,” he said, his voice as warm as my blood.

I lay back onto the cool ground and gave him his wish.

Chapter 18

Sean

---