Page 14 of Lucky in Love

“I’m sorry. I know I’m overreacting. I just feel like I dropped the ball by not monitoring her better.”

I step out of the stall and close the door, knowing the horse will appreciate the privacy. The concrete floor of the barn is cold, but I sit down anyway and lean my back against the wall. “Come sit with me.” I pat the floor next to me and Baylor slides his back down the wall and sits with his elbows on his knees.

“You take such good care of her. You didn’t do anything wrong,” I say.

“Maybe not this time.” He shrugs. I turn to look at him, expecting him to avoid eye contact, but he looks at me, his face filled with sorrow and presses his lips together. The desire to know him, to understand where he’s coming from is so strong, but more than that, I want to help him heal.

“You wanna talk about it?”

He bites his lip and looks up at the ceiling for so long that I’m startled when he finally speaks. “As a Marine, I ran a lot of ops. Some went well, some didn't. I was in charge of a unit and they didn’t all come back.” He says it in a flat voice, devoid of emotion.

Responses swirl through my mind, but I know intuitively that the last thing he wants to hear is “I’m sorry.” I don’t know what to say, so I put my hand over his and lean my head on his shoulder. At first, his body goes rigid like he’s on the defense, but I stay put. After a moment, he rests his head on mine and with a big exhale, his whole body relaxes, like all the fight’s gone out of him. After a minute, he threads his fingers through mine.

“I haven’t talked to anyone about it since– since it happened.” He swallows.

“How does it feel, talking about it?”

“I guess it kind of feels like a relief.”

“You told me you do a lot of listening. I can listen too.” I squeeze his hand and lift my head so I can see his face. “Why me? Why am I the first person you’ve talked to?”

“You make me feel less broken.” His words tug at my heart and I put my hand on his cheek. My heart thunders when his hand cradles the back of my head and he gently pulls my face to his.

TEN

Baylor

When we kiss, the cracks in my soul are filled and I’m whole again. Her lips are soft and gentle at first, then more demanding and I need to close the space between us. I pull her toward me and we twist until we’re both on our knees, pressed together, her arms around my neck. Nothing else exists. Everything that’s happened to me up to this point is irrelevant and nothing else matters but her and the man I want to be.

A loud noise from the stall behind us pulls me back to reality and we stop kissing, but I rest my forehead on hers for another second. Eyes closed. Savoring the moment. She pulls away and touches her lips, her eyelids lowered. I help her up from the cold, hard concrete and follow her into the stall.

“Her water broke,” she says. “Can you start a stopwatch on your phone? We need to time how long it takes her to deliver the foal. She should deliver within the next 30 minutes or so.”

I tap the clock icon on my phone. “Done.” Pacing might disturb Stella so I resort to leaning against the wall and tappingmy finger on my leg. Thankfully, the birth proceeds with no complications and within twenty minutes, Stella brings her foal into the world without assistance from anyone.

“She is so precious!” Paige squeals, her nose wrinkling up in the cutest way as she peers at the foal.

“A strawberry roan, just like her Mama,” I say, giving Stella a pat. But I can tell that she is only interested in her baby at this moment.

“We should probably step out again,” she says, walking out and closing the stall door behind us. We stand there awkwardly and I feel anxiety in the pit of my stomach. The magic of the kiss is gone and all I want to do is get back to that place where nothing else mattered but us. Where I felt complete and worthy of someone like her. But how could she want someone who can’t even do something as simple as go to a party with her. Heck, even going to the grocery store is outside of my realm of capability at the moment.

“I’m sure she just wants to be alone with her baby, without us bothering her,” she says, taking a step toward me. “Speaking of alone time…” She reaches out to me and the pull between us is so strong, I almost pull her into my arms to continue our kiss. But that wouldn’t be fair to her.

“Paige.” I take another deep breath, praying I’ll be able to get out the words without cracking. “I don’t think this is a good idea.” The look on her face fortifies me to keep going. I’m already hurting her. It’s best to end this now.

“Why not?”

“I have issues.” I close my eyes. I can’t bear to watch her expression when I tell her the truth. “I am one of the lucky onesto come out of war without physical wounds, but mine are on the inside. I have extreme social anxiety.”

“OK.” The tone of her voice is calm and questioning, like she doesn’t think it’s a big deal. I open my eyes and she’s still got that look, like the man who’s standing in front of her is normal, complete. She doesn’t understand.

“I haven’t left the ranch since I got back two years ago. I can’t talk to people.”

“You talk to me.”

“That’s different.”

“Why?”

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