Page 30 of Bad Behavior

“You’re right about that.” I scratch my stubbled cheek. “Let’s just go out to catch a baby wave.”

“I thought you just said the water is dangerous here!” She looks downright distrustful now.

“I mean, for real surfing, it is. But we’re barely going out. Not far enough to do any damage.” I pick up the neoprene cuff that is attached to my board. “Make sure that you tether yourself to that board.”

“Okay…” she says.

She gets her wetsuit out of her tote bag, wiggling out of her shorts and trading them for the suit. I shuck my shirt, but leave my suit where it is. The sun feels good on my bare skin. I’m not sure if it’s cheating to use my upper body as a distraction in the face of her nervousness, but I’m going to do it anyway. Still. I can feel her anxious eyes on my back as I pick up my board and head to the sea.

“You’re safe,” I reassure her. “We’re barely going to go in. You’ll see.”

True to my word, I slog in, floating my board alongside my body. When I see that the water has risen to her waist, I stop. “I think this will do it.”

Emma glances behind her, to where the rocks are. “Are you sure?”

I shrug. “We don’t have to ride at all.”

She looks indecisive. “Maybe we’ll just do it once?”

“That’s what I’m talking about.” I give her a smile. “Now, for your wave. You want to pick a wave that is coming right at you, not at an angle. Make sure there is plenty of whitewater in the wave, too. Oh! And this is important. When you wipe out, you want to fall behind the board, and wrap your arms around your head. Protects you from the board knocking you in the head.”

“Got it, I think.” She scans the waves coming. “Not this one…”

“Nope. It’s coming in at a definite angle.”

She waits, her hand over her eyes, still looking out over the ocean. She looks beautiful like that, the ocean breeze blowing faintly on the dark wisps that have escaped her hair. Her eyes have never looked more green than they do now, here among the waves.

“Oooh!” she says, pointing. “That one?”

“That’s great,” I say, giving myself a mental shake. “Position yourself…”

I get on my board, lying down, and Emma awkwardly balances herself the same way. I feel the swell of the sea, pulling my board back a few inches.

“Ready…” I call. “Go!”

The wave hits us, and I wait for just a split second, then make sure that she goes first. But she does, so I go too, launching myself toward the shore. Unfortunately, though it is super easy for me, it’s not for Emma. A few seconds into her glide, she leans too much to one side. She goes crashing off the side, kicking and screaming, and goes under the water in no time.

“Fuck.” I am quick to bail out of the wave too, plunging underwater. When I come back up, wiping at my eyes, she is floundering and spluttering. I swim towards her and reach her in a few short strokes. I grab her around the waist, lifting her.

“What the hell?” she says, shaking her head to clear it of water. She wraps an arm around my neck. “That didn’t go as planned.”

My lips curl upward. “You surfed, though. For a few seconds at least.”

It’s only then that I realize exactly how close we are, pressed together by the waves. She looks up into my eyes, droplets of water clinging to her dark lashes. I look down at the spray of freckles across her nose, at her heart shaped lips.

I could do it, I think. I could take her mouth. Explore her taste, dominate her for just a second. I know she wants it just as bad as I do.

If there was ever a moment, it’s now.

But then my surfboard bumps against my back, and the moment is gone. A flash of sadness crosses her face, but I ignore it. I’m the one who is responsible here. I’m always the one. I take a ragged breath.

“I’m going to put you down,” I say. I let her go, and she stands on her own.

“Jameson…” she starts. I don’t know what the end of that sentence is, but it can’t be anything that’s good for me.

I start swimming in. “I think we’re done for the day.”

She slowly follows me, like a sad little cloud. It starts to weigh on me, as soon as I can stand on solid ground.

I did the right thing, though. I did the best thing for both of us. The only possible thing.

I just have to remind myself of that, from now until… until I’m dead, I guess.

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