Page 94 of Deeper

Rylan

“Put the gun down, Callen! Now!” I demand.

Callen shifts and flicks his eyes at the walls covered in newspaper clippings. Without words, he asks if Tatum knows what I’ve been up to. I answer by rigidly shaking my head.

“Callen. Gun. Now.” I once again attempt to get him to take his aim off my friend.

Tatum just stands frozen with her hands still high.

Callen ignores me and takes a step forward. “Why are you here?”

Her response is stuttered, “Th-they t-t-took Rylan. I w-w-wanted to m-m-make sure she w-was okay.” She takes a deep breath. “I saw your truck in the driveway. Please don’t hurt us.”

“Sit on your hands on the floor.” He directs Tatum and then turns to me. “Don’t hurt us?” He shakes his head dismissively. “I’m really not surprised you kept your secrets from Tatum, too.”

Tatum nervously follows his orders and gets down on the ground.

“I didn’t come here to make friends or to…” Find whatever it is I’ve found with Callen. “Everything just sort of happened,” I try to explain it to them, but it doesn’t seem like enough.

“Nothing just sort of happens with you, Rylan. Everything you do is deliberate.”

“Tatum can’t get hurt because of this. She isn’t part of anything we’re mixed up in.” I steel my voice and straighten my shoulders.

Tatum’s safety is nonnegotiable for me. Callen laughs, but it’s dark and heavy and full of incredulity.

“She is already involved, Rylan. I’m certain, in just the few minutes she’s been inside your room of crazy, she’s been piecing things together. I won’t go down for this, Rylan. I won’t let this bullshit ruin everything I’ve built. Did you think this through at all before you put things into motion?”

“At first, the only thing that was important to me was getting the people who hurt Aria.”

“What about now? Do you care now about what happens to you? What about me? Do you care what happens to me? Or even Tatum, do you care what you’ve dragged her into?”

My eyes connect with Tatum’s. Tears fall freely down her terrified face. For the first time, she sees me for who I am. A monster.

I’m a terrible person who, only a short time ago, couldn’t see past my own vendettas. No one and nothing mattered, except my revenge. I didn’t have anyone or anything that I cared about.

I do now.

I break eye contact with Tatum and look toward Callen. “I care. You know I do. I care about you and Tatum, and I care about what happens to me. When I hired you, I was in a different place. I’m sorry.” I can’t look at Tatum when I direct my next words to her. “I’m so sorry, Tatum. I’m sorry for not being a better friend, for lying, and for getting you mixed up in all this.” I close my eyes and come to terms with the only solution. “I’ll take the heat. I’ll turn myself in. Callen, you can skip town, and Tatum can have her life back.”

Tatum’s tiny voice breaks through the hostility in the room. “No one is turning anyone in. Not me and not you. Your heart is good, Rylan. If you did what I think you did, then you must have thought it was your only option. I told you I would have your back, no matter what, and that still stands.”

Silence follows her declaration.

Each of us glances back and forth at one another. All of my secrets are out in the open, and neither holds it against me, and to be honest, neither one of them even really seemed that surprised by my involvement. I’m not sure what that says about me, but it’s been a long time since I’ve had people around me who just accepted me for me.

“That’s a lot of trust to give one person. Our lives would literally be in Tatum’s hands.”

“Rylan is my first real friend, maybe ever. She’s been through a lot. I don’t believe that two wrongs make a right, but I am a believer that you need to stick by the people that mean something to you. Rylan has my loyalty, no matter what. You can have trust in that.”

If I was emotional a few minutes ago, then I’m damn near close to tears by the time she’s done talking.

“Callen, can you give me a minute with her?”

He looks reluctant. “I’ll be right outside this room.”

He leaves, and I’m alone with Tatum.

“You and Callen have been killing these men?” Her words are free of judgment but edged with nervousness.

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