Page 10 of Deeper

We kiss.

I pull back and wait for her to open her eyes. “Was that weird?”

“No, definitely not weird.” A blush colors her cheeks.

“Don’t think too much into this, Tatum. Just relax and do whatever comes naturally for you. Let any preconceived notions or societal norms fall away.”

Finally, she relaxes back in her seat and takes a deep breath.

“Ready?” I ask, taking her hand.

“I am. Let’s go.”

A man greets us on the other side, inspects our room ticket, and hands it back. We’re clear to go forth. I check the room number, and we proceed to viewing room six. The back is set up in wide hallways with doors lining both sides. In the first one, the walls are brick, and there are three closed doors. People linger, chatting and going about their own business, which seems to put Tatum at ease. I don’t tell her that the night is still early and that more people will start to trickle in soon. We turn down another hallway. This one has floor-to-ceiling windows on one side and rows of couches lining the other. There are fewer people, but unlike the first hallway, these guests are all watching the shows.

Faint moans and soft words can be heard through the glass walls. Each room hosts people living out their wildest fantasies.

The first room we pass has several people inside—one woman with six men. She is kneeling on the floor with them surrounding her as she works between them with her mouth. The next room is a bit tamer—a man and a woman in bed. He’s fucking her missionary-style. It’s simple, but it still draws my attention. In the room after that, there is a woman who occupies the space by herself. She’s in a yoga-like position that resembles child’s pose with her hands stretched out in front of her, gripping the sheets covering the mattress, as she rocks herself over and over again onto a dildo that is suctioned to the wall. Her loud moans reverberate in my ears.

Tatum roots herself to the floor in front of this room, but I figure it’s best if we don’t linger outside our room too long tonight. I pull on her hand, leading her deeper down the hall.

I unlock the door to room number six, and we enter. There isn’t a theme, and there are no gimmicks. It’s just a room designed to look like any other ordinary bedroom. I take a moment to let it all sink in.

“We can’t see them.”

I turn my head when Tatum speaks. She faces the front wall that, from this side, only looks like a mirror. Our reflection peers back at us.

“There are rooms here where you can see the parties on both sides, but I thought this would be better for our first time, easier for you to get lost in the experience and forget that people might be out there.”

After dropping my bag to the floor, I pull her away from the reflective wall and face her toward me. “Are you sure about this?”

“I’m sure, but, Rylan, I’m not a lesbian.”

My hands stroke up the length of her arms with a tender touch. “Neither am I.” I step a bit closer to her, continuing, “You don’t have to explain yourself. It doesn’t matter to me one way or the other if you are or aren’t questioning your sexuality. This is about fulfilling a sexual need you have and experiencing it.” My hands reach her neck, and I lightly apply pressure in a soothing manner.

“Have you ever…” A blush creeps up Tatum’s skin from her neck to her cheeks.

“Been with a woman?” I save her from saying it.

She nods, affirming that’s what she’s asking.

“No, this will also be a first for me. I might seem a lot more confident about this situation, but it’s new to me, too. I’ve wanted this for so long though that it overshadows my nerves.”

Sex isn’t about gender to me. It’s about the physicality. I’ve never been with a woman, but the simple act of pleasure is what turns me on. It’s what gets me hot.

I lean forward and lightly press my lips to hers to end our conversation.

She doesn’t respond at first, but then her soft lips sweep mine. I untie the belt around her waist and let her coat fall open, and then I do the same to mine, leaving us both in only skimpy lingerie. Kissing a woman isn’t that different from kissing a man—at least, so far. Our touches are shy and exploratory. Her hair tangles around my fingers. Our lips move against each other’s in a slow, hypnotic rhythm for another moment before I pull back just a bit.

Tatum lazily opens her eyes and looks at me with apprehension. “Was it okay? Why are you stopping?” Insecurity drips from her words.

“Shut up, Tatum. Stop second-guessing yourself. Let go and just let your needs take over.”

She twists a strand of her hair methodically around her finger.

“Kiss me,” I demand.

Uncertainty takes over her features when she opens her mouth to respond, but I cut off her words, “No, shut up and kiss me. Kiss me like you mean it. Take control of what you want. Kiss me like this is the last thing you will ever do on earth. Make me feel something. Make me feel you. Kiss. Me. Damn it.”

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