Page 90 of Deeper

Rylan

Rumbling voices and hushed gossip run rampant around the coffee shop. Not a single person is quiet as they whisper to those closest in proximity to them. It isn’t like the normal chatter of a public place; it’s more like news spreading at rapid speed, as if everyone knows a secret I don’t.

“Did I miss something? What’s going on?” I ask Tatum.

Have they found Abraham’s body at Pond Lily yet?Callen told me he hung him from a tree overlooking the mass of lily pads.

“You didn’t hear the news this morning?”

“No, I haven’t turned on the television or checked social media all day.”

I was too consumed with all my secrets. With Callen basically giving me an ultimatum.

Open up, talk to him, or else we can’t continue.

“There was another murder last night, and the police found a connection between the murders that are happening now and a girl that went missing a few years ago. The four men that have been found dead and one man who still lives were all people of interest in the unsolved case at one point. Their names were never released because they were questioned and then eliminated as suspects. They all had airtight alibis.”

Callen must be freaking out.

“Wow,” the single word is all I can manage.

The people around me gossip. They pass around juicy pieces of information. Not one person realizes my secret. None of them realize they’re sharing space with someone who knows who the killer is, someone just as responsible. Not even Tatum. I’ve lied to the only two people I’ve let into my life in years—Tatum and Callen. But I’m at the end of my rope. I can’t go on, not letting them in on the things I’m hiding.

I push the voices from my mind and turn to my friend. “I’ve been pretty honest with you but not completely.”

I fear that Tatum won’t understand the truth. My honesty is ugly. She’ll hate me.

“What do you mean? What have you lied about?”

I can’t look at her. Not yet. First, I need to work it out in my head. “Just listen to me, and it will all start to make sense. Stay open-minded. Please.”

“I promise.”

“I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want this to end our friendship.”

Tatum leaves her chair and goes down to her knees before me. “I’m not going anywhere. No matter what,” she declares.

Her eyes bore into mine, attempting to convince me. The problem is that it’s a promise I can’t hold her to.

“I hope not. I love my awkward, apple-loving friend.”

She laughs, but the tension around her eyes doesn’t leave.

“I love you, too.”

The things I’ve been through distort loneliness until being alone becomes a survival skill, and I didn’t recognize the solitude until something disrupted it. I’m no longer alone. My reclusive coping mechanism has been dismantled. I could survive if Tatum hates me for what I’ve done. If the past has taught me anything, I know I can withstand any situation, but I don’t want to simply survive anymore.

I take a deep breath before I tell Tatum the truth.

Before I can pull the trigger, heavy boots stomp against the tiled floor, putting a stop to my conversation with Tatum. These men have come for me. They’ve connected the dots.

Before Tatum and before Callen, I didn’t care about what happened to me. I wasn’t cautious. I knew there was a chance I wouldn’t get away with it. I didn’t care.

But I care now.

I don’t want to leave Tatum and Callen. I don’t want them to hate me.

Their uniforms, the guns on their hips, the badges on their chests are clear signs of the trouble that I’m in. Three policemen look directly at me. Tatum, still on her knees, looks back and forth between the officers and me. She looks scared and confused. At this second, I’m painfully aware that I dragged her into my crap.

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