Page 73 of Deeper

“Why are you so nervous?” I start off easy.

“You’re going to ask me questions I don’t want to answer. You’re probably going to ask me questions I won’t answer.” Her response seems honest. That’s good.

“Look, I get it. I’m not much for words either, but what happened the other night…” My hand reaches out to her chin, and I tilt her face to me. “We can’t ignore it.”

“I won’t turn you in.”

For whatever reason, I’m not worried about that. It might be stupid, but that thought has barely crossed my mind. Besides, she has to know that she became an accessory to my crimes the minute she stepped foot in that house.

“You won’t because you’d be dead before you could ever think the action out.”

She takes me by surprise when she smirks before taking a sip of her drink. In not so many words, I just told her the price of her betrayal was death. That I wouldn’t think twice about taking her life, and she smirked at me like this is all some joke. I’m not sure if I should fall for this woman or stay as far away as humanly possible.

Her whiskey-wet lips glisten as she speaks, “I won’t turn you in because I don’t want to.”

“I threaten you, and you come right back at me. You’re not scared of me, are you?”

“I’m not scared of anyone. Your threats, your strength, my death—none of that frightens me. There is nothing, physical or emotional, that can be done to me to cut deep enough to hurt. My scars are my shield, stronger than any bulletproof vest.”

My urge to find out exactly what she is talking about surges, but I ignore it. She’s just a girl. She’s only temporary. She’s the best fuck of my life that’s proving to be more complicated than I ever could have imagined.

“Why did you follow me that night?”

She shrugs. “Curiosity.”

No, there is more than that. She’s fairly easy to read when she’s being honest, but she lets nothing show when she isn’t. I can pinpoint her truths from her lies, but I can’t determine what her lies are hiding.

“So, you followed me, hiked through yards, jumped fences, and waited in the dark out of curiosity?”

“Curiosity caused me to follow you. Your odd behavior caused me to get out of my car and trail you. It was obvious you were up to something, and I wanted to know what.”

Lies. More lies. Every word.

“Are you going to be straight with me?”

“You’re going to kill again.” It isn’t a question. So, I wait for her to say more. “I want you to take me with you.”

“What makes you so sure I’m going to kill again?”

“You’re the Murder by Numbers Killer. I saw the news after that night. I recognized the man’s face, the one you killed. The reporters are speculating. You have at least two more kills if they’re right.”

There will be a lot more than two kills in my lifetime.

“Whatever you think you know because you saw a news report doesn’t give you the full picture. I’ve been hired for this job. Killing is what I do. It’s work. What I’m doing? These people? They have nothing to do with me. I’m the facilitator, and I have to think about my client. My reputation.”

“Yeah? So, where is this client? Who do you work for? I don’t see anybody but you with the knife in your hands. You’re the decision-maker, and we both know it. The rest is crap!”

“You’re right; I am the decision-maker. And you’re not coming with me.”

“Why the fuck not?”

“I work alone, Rylan. My line of work isn’t conducive to Bring Your Fuck Buddy to Work Day. We could have left any number of clues from my carelessness at Sebastian’s house. We’re not talking about going out to a movie. We’re talking about taking a life. You can’t just purchase a ticket to my murder show.”

“You felt it, Callen. I know you did. That rush. The high. If you can honestly tell me you’ve ever experienced anything like that before, then I’ll drop it.”

I can’t tell her that honestly. Rylan got off on Sebastian’s fear and pain. I got off on watching her react, knowing my hands carrying out the lethal acts did that to her. My whole body reacted physically to the way she enjoyed herself in that moment. That experience was life-altering, and if I were completely honest, I would admit that I’ve been craving a repeat performance. I’ve fantasized about how far we could push it. I’ve imagined Rylan by my side again.

“You can’t. I know you can’t. Sex with us has always been incredible, but that night was extreme on another level.”

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