Page 43 of The Friendship Study

“OK,” I say, my breath shuddering out of me. “Are you...”

“It’s fine.”

I breathe through my nose, exhale through my mouth, the music and the screams coming back to me. The nerves loosen and unravel like receding tendrils of smoke. He searches my face, his eyes shining in the sunlight.

“You have pretty eyes,” I say.

He blushes, looks out over the field as the crowd cheers on a third out. “They’re brown.”

“They’re rich.”

“Like dirt.”

Gently, I punch his arm. “Take a compliment.”

He looks back at me, his eyes still searching. Quietly, he says, “Thank you.” A cheer goes up from our section as the Phanatic points his pneumatic gun in our direction.

“What is happening?” Jesse asks.

“He’s going to shoot hot dogs at us,” I say.

“Right. Makes sense.”

“Wait. Have you never been to a baseball game before?” My voice rises to a pitch that attracts the curious stares of those around us. Jesse’s eyes widen at the sudden attention.

“I like rugby,” is all he says.

Trey leans forward from the seat behind us. “You like rugby? Me, too.” His can of beer tips forward with him, coming perilously close to spilling all over Jesse’s faded red T-shirt. I tilt in the other direction to avoid any splash back. Trey pulls Jesse into a conversation about a recent controversial World Cup win.

“He’s cute,” the girl sitting next to me says.

My eyes feel too big in my face and although I’m slack-jawed, I don’t respond. My brain can’t decide whether I need to deny that I think Jesse is cute while simultaneously arguing that, of course he is, and also he’smine, which he absolutely is not since one can neither own a person nor should they but also because coming on my stomach once does not make anyone mine, although maybe it makes me at the very least a little bit his.

Except then I follow her gaze to Trey’s profile. She bites her lip and blushes when she catches me catching her staring.

“Yeah,” I agree, nodding quickly like that’s who I thought she was talking about this whole time.

“I know we’re not supposed to...you know.” She waggles her eyebrows. “With other participants but...”

“Maybe after.” I shrug and I don’t look at Jesse at all.

“Yes.” She giggles. “Maybe.”

I turn back to the game I haven’t been paying enough attention to when it occurs to me that I could, you know, make a friend of her.

“I’m Lulu, by the way.”

She smiles wide. “Brooke.”

I glance back at Jesse and he seems comfortable, chatting amiably with Trey, who is in fact very cute and animated and entirely wonderful. Jesse is busy making friends. Maybe I should try a little harder to do that, too. That’s why we’re here, after all. And while it still smarts, like a rubber band snapped on my heart, that my dad is trying to get rid of me, and I still haven’t decided whether I should ask Audrey to join forces or not, the thought of not being here, of not having to maintain these friendships, of just having to try, takes a lot of the pressure off.

I turn back to Brooke. “So, what type of trees do you like?”

Chapter Fourteen

Jesse

Lulu is sunburned, despite the sunscreen she applied twice. So am I, if the heat radiating from the back of my neck is any indication. Lulu pets the foam finger she bought for herself. I chose a ball cap, the bill fresh and flat and new. “Are you hungry?” I ask. “Want to stop somewhere? Get something to eat?”

---