Page 31 of Winter Sun

Sam’s jaw dropped. “Pregnant!” she repeated. She threw herself forward and wrapped her arms around Sophie, then jumped up and down like a teenager. “My goodness, Soph! Congratulations!”

Sophie pressed a napkin over her eyes to mop up her tears. “I can’t stop crying,” she explained, wadding the napkin up in her hand and laughing at herself.

“Who else have you told?” Sam asked, wrapping her hair in a ponytail that she immediately let fall again. Her eyes were wide as saucers.

“We just told the brothers,” Sophie said, nodding toward the foyer, where Brent, Derek, and Patrick continued to celebrate. “And you. And, well.” Sophie bit her lower lip. “My mother knows, too.”

Sam wrinkled her nose, sensing something amiss. “How did she handle that?”

“How well does my mother handle anything?”

Sam sighed and crossed her arms over her chest. Sophie watched her face for some sign of what to do, a map for how to handle this. Sam had worked with hundreds of addicts and their families over the years. She’d helped many reunite and see eye to eye after horrendous backstories.

Sophie knew she didn’t have it half as bad as most Sam had worked with. Katrina resented Sophie’s addiction—she didn’t trust her, and she’d spoken cruelly. But that was nothing compared to some of the things that Sam saw on a daily basis.

“I can’t imagine she won’t want to get to know her grandchild,” Sam offered. “You remember how Aunt Katrina was when Frankie and Nellie were born? Ida basically had to kick her out of the house sometimes.”

Sophie shifted nervously at the memory. It hadn’t been so long after her first pregnancy, and watching Katrina dote on her granddaughters like that had felt like a knife through the heart. “You can try again,” Ida had told her, urging her along. But by then, Sophie had been heavily using again. Her body felt alien to her. She didn’t want to ask more of it than she already was.

“But do I really want a woman like that to know my child?” Sophie asked, her voice cracking. “A woman who makes me feel so small. A woman who refuses to forgive me?”

Sophie’s throat tightened, and she found it difficult to breathe. Was she being unfair? Before Sam could respond, Patrick entered the kitchen and wrapped his arms around Sophie, calling out to his brothers. “Pizza? The place on 2nd Avenue?” And Brent and Derek were hollering back, “Yes! Tell the delivery driver to bring all the pizzas he can fit in the car! We need to feast!”

Sophie laughed and raised her chin to kiss Patrick. His eyes shone. She wanted to remember how he looked at her right now, when he shared their good news with his family. She needed to remember that although she’d been a dark smudge on her family’s life, she’d been a bright light in Patrick’s. And he in hers, too.

The delivery driver brought ten pizzas to Sophie and Patrick’s place—greasy, cheese-laden slabs of pepperoni, sausage, anchovy, vegetarian, and alfredo. They lined them up on the large coffee table in the living room before the crackling electric fire and feasted on Sophie’s plates. As she passed them around, she remembered having been gifted them by Jared’s mother after the wedding. It was funny, living in this house for so long. Everything was a memory. Everything threatened to jump out and remind her of something she didn’t want to think about.

“What baby names are you considering?” Derek asked, then took a large bite of sausage pizza. “If it isn’t too early to ask.”

Sophie and Patrick eyed one another and laughed. The baby had been such an abstract idea. Naming that baby made it much more real—in a terrifying and wonderful way.

“I know,” Brent said, clapping his hands. “What about Merlin?”

Sophie threw her head back with laughter. “Merlin?” she cried.

“What?” Brent demanded, clearly teasing them. “Merlin is only one of the most powerful wizards of all time. Don’t you want that for your baby?”

“I think it’s especially a girl’s name,” Sam joked, winking at Sophie.

Sophie laughed sarcastically. “Great idea, Brent. We’ll put it on the list.”

“What do you like, Derek?” Patrick asked, sipping his Coke.

Derek rubbed his beard and glanced at Sam lovingly. “I was always partial to the name Samantha. Sam for short.”

Sam rolled her eyes. “You’re such a flirt, Derek.”

Sophie cackled and placed her hand on Patrick’s thigh. “Maybe we’ll just come up with the name on the day she or he is born?”

“Yeah,” Patrick said. “We can see what the baby looks like and decide from there.”

“A friend of mine couldn’t name her baby for days when she did that,” Sam said. “She went back and forth and finally settled on Frank.”

“Frank?” Derek, Brent, and Patrick said the name in unison and cackled.

“Imagine spending four days thinking about a name just to end up with Frank,” Sophie said, her eyes filling with tears of laughter.

“I’m just saying,” Sam said with a shrug. “You have to watch out. Immediately after the birth, you’ll be awash with so many hormones. There’s no telling what you’ll do or what name you’ll come up with.”

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