Page 31 of F*ckboys

Why didn't I see through her games? Why didn't I fight harder to protect Fallon from the heartache she was destined to face?

"Damn it," I growl, slamming my fists against the wall of the gym, the pain a fleeting distraction from the storm raging inside me.

The truth is, I was too caught up in the whirlwind of teenage emotions to fully comprehend the consequences of my actions. I was blind to the web of deceit that Carissa spun around us, entrapping us both in a cycle of hurt and betrayal. And though I never meant to cause Fallon any pain, my inability to stand up to Carissa's schemes made me complicit in her suffering.

"Hey, Aksel, did you hear about that hot new transfer student?" Carissa's voice echoes in my memory.

"Yeah, I heard she's really into bad boys," I'd replied, allowing the rumor to spread, hoping it would stoke some kind of jealousy within Fallon. But instead, I only added fuel to the fire that consumed the innocence of our relationship.

My knuckles turn white as I squeeze the weight harder, trying to force the memories out of my head. I hate who I was back then—a pawn in a twisted game that I didn't even understand. I traded whispers with pretty girls like Carissa, all for the sake of cultivating an image that would make Fallon jealous. In reality, I never cared about any of them. It was always her—it has always been Fallon.

"Damn it," I curse aloud, slamming the dumbbell onto the ground. The clang echoes through the gym, but it does nothing to silence the guilt that gnaws at me.

Why didn't I just tell her how I felt? Why did I let my own insecurities and confusion lead to so much pain?

As the echoes of my past mistakes reverberate through the room, I steel myself for the battle ahead. I will not let Carissa's treachery define our fate. I will fight for Fallon, for the love that slipped through our fingers like sand, leaving only shadows and regret in its wake.

"Carissa," I vow, my voice barely more than a whisper, "you will pay for the damage you've done."

I know now that I can no longer hide from the truth, or from the part I played in Fallon's heartbreak. It's time to face the demons that have haunted me for so long, to confront the tangled threads of our shared history and unravel them once and for all. For Fallon, for the love we were never fully allowed to explore, I will make things right—no matter what it takes.

As I stand amidst the machines and iron weights, I can't help but feel like I'm teetering on the edge of a precipice. One where my past mistakes threaten to drag me down into an abyss of regret, and the only way forward is to confront the demons that have haunted me for years.

Carissa’s words fail in their quest to augment my rivalry with Fallon. In fact, they do the opposite. I find myselfdefensive, and realize I want to protect Fallon. I feel some sort of ownership over her, a desire to keep her close to me at all times. With embarrassment, I realize I’ve been the living, breathing cliché of the boy toddler who hits a girl because he likes her. I’ve tormented her for so long, and for what? It’s suddenly obvious to me. That’s why I was so worried about Carissa destroying my connection with Fallon. It may be toxic, but it’s the way I’ve been able to stay close to her all these years.

The truth is, I’m fixated on Fallon Dempsey because I really, really like her… if I’m honest, it’s far more than that. And I’d like nothing more than to make her mine. Maybe, just maybe, I should lay off the jerk act and show her how I really feel.

The unrelenting beat of my heart drowns out the cacophony of the school grounds. Fallon's pulse races in tandem with mine, our breaths ragged and synchronized as we stand under the moonlit sky, shielded from prying eyes by the shadowy foliage. Our first kiss, a tentative dance between vulnerability and desire, is electric—a searing sensation that courses through me like wildfire.

For the next week, more meetings like this. More kisses that set my heart ablaze.

And then, one magical night under the stars, our naked bodies intertwined for the first time.

"Fallon," I breathe against her lips, drowning in the depths of her green eyes. There's so much I want to say, but words are elusive, slipping away like sand through my fingers. In this moment, I hope my actions can speak louder than words ever could.

"Wait," she whispers, a panicked edge to her voice. "Do you hear that?"

My senses sharpen, and I detect it too: the crunching of leaves, the sound of someone approaching. Moments later,Carissa emerges from the shadows, her face twisted into a malevolent grin.

"Look what we have here," she purrs, venom dripping from her every syllable. "Aksel and Fallon, sharing a secret rendezvous."

"Carissa, get the fuck out of here!" My anger flares, a burning heat that threatens to consume me.

"Fine," she snaps, her eyes narrowing to slits as she stalks away. "But don't think you can keep this a secret for long, Aksel. Everyone will know by tomorrow. And she's definitely not the only girl you've been doing this with. I could say the same for her."

As Carissa's footsteps fade into the night, Fallon's gaze hardens, her expression a mixture of hurt and confusion. "What did she mean, Aksel?"

"Nothing," I lie, unable to meet her eyes. "She's just being her usual spiteful self. Don't worry about it."

But the damage has been done. I can see it all over Fallon's face.

The fragile connection we'd forged shatters under the weight of Carissa's interference, and Fallon slips away as quickly as she'd appeared.

The unspoken rivalry between us festers, fueled by the complex dynamics of high school hierarchies and the labyrinth of emotions we're both too afraid to navigate. As I stand in the hallway, surrounded by the loud chaos of adolescent life, I can't help but wonder if there's any hope for me and Fallon. We're worlds apart, separated by a chasm of misunderstanding and resentment, and it feels like an insurmountable distance.

"Later, Aksel," Fallon calls as she passes me, her voice strained with forced neutrality. The sound of her name on my lips feels like a betrayal, a reminder of everything I've lost andcan never get back. I watch her walk away, a ghost in a world that no longer belongs to either of us.

"Later," I echo, the word heavy with the weight of things left unsaid.

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