Page 29 of F*ckboys

"Ask yourself that question, Aksel," my reflection sneers, eyes boring into mine with a cold, unrelenting stare. "What did you do?"

"Everything," I admit, feeling the weight of my actions press down on me with crushing force. "I pushed her away. I hurt her. And I never even realized how deep it went."

"Then maybe it's time to make amends," the voice suggests, its tone suddenly softer, more hopeful.

"Can I?" I wonder, my grip tightening on the barbell. "After everything I've done, can I really make things right?"

"Only one way to find out," the voice challenges, and I nod, drawing in a shaky breath. Great, I've gone insane. I hear voices now. But at least the voice inside my head seems to be talking some sense.

"Fuck," I mutter under my breath, a single word encompassing the depth of my self-loathing. "I never told her. I never fucking told her."

"Maybe you don't need words," the voice suggests, echoing my own thoughts. "Maybe actions speak louder."

"Actions?" I scoff, disdain dripping from each syllable. "Look where my actions got us."

"Then change them," the voice insists, relentless and unyielding. "Show her what she means to you."

"Fine," I growl, my resolve hardening into something fierce and unbreakable. "I'll show her. Let's see if I can fix this."

I approach the weight bench once more.

"Come on, Aksel," I coach myself, summoning every ounce of strength I possess. "You can do this. For her."

Gritting my teeth, I hoist the barbell from its stand, the weight bearing down on me like a physical manifestation of all the things I never said to Fallon. Each lift is a promise, each rep is an unspoken word, a plea for understanding, a declaration of the intense feelings that have been smoldering inside me for so long.

"Fuck," I grunt, testing my own limitations. My muscles strain and protest under the relentless onslaught. The metallic clang of weights hitting the floor resounds through the gym, a symphony of determination and struggle.

"You've got this, Aksel," I hiss to myself, once again pushing through the pain. "This is for her."

My hands grip the barbell, knuckles white with determination, as I lower it to my chest. The iron presses into my flesh, the harsh motion mimicking the tumultuous beats of my heart. As I push through the pain, continuing my relentless workout, I can't help but feel that I'm not just fighting against the weight of the barbell, but also against the crushing weight of my past. It's a battle I'm determined to win—for Fallon, and for myself.

"Damn it," I curse as the weight of my feelings threatens to overwhelm me. My heart races, and sweat drips down my brow, but I refuse to back down. "I will fix this," I pant, my breath ragged from exertion. "I'll fight for you. I'll make things right between us, no matter what it takes."

"Good," the dark voice murmurs, its tone laced with malice. "And when you finally have her, don't let anything stand in your way."

"Trust me," I growl, my muscles aching with the effort, "nothing will."

~~Senior Year~~

As I step through the doors of Palm Falls High School, the chaotic symphony of adolescent life washes over me. The scent of cheap cologne and sweat clings to the air like a heavy fog, while the voices of my classmates blend into an indistinguishable cacophony.

"Hey, Aksel!" one of them shouts, a blur of color and motion in the crowded hall. My lips twist into the same old practiced grin, but my insides churn with an unease that's become increasingly familiar.

"Sup," I call back, offering a casual wave as I continue down the polished linoleum floor. I'm acutely aware of the eyes that follow me, their assumptions and judgments hidden behind carefully constructed masks.

But there's one pair of eyes I seek out above all others: Fallon Dempsey, a beacon of fierce resilience in this sea of superficiality. It's like she doesn't even know how much power she wields, and it makes her all the more alluring.

"Fallon," I whisper under my breath, feeling the weight of our shared history and petty rivalries pressing down on my chest. I want to reach out, to bridge the gap between us, but the shadows of our past cling to me like chains.

"Yo, King!" someone shouts, jarring me from my thoughts. I force my gaze away from Fallon and plaster on another fake smile, giving a nod to whoever called my name.

"Hey," I say, not bothering to figure out who it was. They're just another face in the crowd—a crowd that's swallowed me whole and left me feeling emptier than ever.

"Class prez meeting after school!" one of the guys on the student council calls out as I pass by. I give him a thumbs up, pretending to care.

"Can't wait," I lie, my voice dripping with sarcasm that goes unnoticed.

My thoughts spiral, the churning confusion of my emotions threatening to overwhelm me. I want to scream, to tear down these walls that have been built around me—walls for which I'm the chief architect and principal engineer—but instead, I swallow it all down and lock my feelings away.

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