Page 3 of F*ckboys

"They often claim they’re not into what they like to call the ‘relationship bullshit,’ which is a way of avoiding any type of commitment that’s not on their terms. You might find yourself constantly having to text them first because they claim they ‘forgot’. Or maybe they are excellent at remembering to text you something like ‘hi’ or ‘what you doing’ first thing in the morning every day—often a simple 'wyd' because it's faster than typing the whole thing out—and they're mass sending it to their roster of women. And then you hear zip zilch nada from them until the following morning when you receive basically the same message again.”

Some bitter laughs ring out around the room.

“It sounds like that hit a little close to home for some of you?” I quirk an eyebrow and see several people nod as well as a few wry grins. "Again, no judgment here! We've all been there."

A couple of audience members look palpably relieved, their shoulders lifting at the realization they're not alone.

“Fuckboys will say the same lines to multiple girls at the same time, making each and every one of them feel like they’re their one and only special person.

Some of them are particularly confusing. They will accuse you of clinginess at the slightest sign of interest from you in anything more than casual sex, but will come running if they think you’ve moved on."

I see several nods in the crowd. A couple of women turn to each other and shake their heads, and I can tell my words are resonating. I nod to Mia and she clicks to the next slide whichfeatures the logos of several of the most popular dating apps, resulting in nods of recognition from the crowd.

"They’ll play games on dating apps just to boost their egos. Whether they act on anything or not is up to the individual and the specific circumstances, but there’s a high chance that regardless of their relationship status their profiles will remain active on these platforms. This ensures they have a backup and a steady supply of victims who are easily accessible to them at all times. If and when they do decide to ghost you. Which they will almost certainly do at some point when it benefits them."

Mia flashes the next slide with logos of messaging apps known for providing temporary communications that automatically delete after a short period of time.

"Some of them will insist on only speaking with you through Snapchat or other similar apps so their communication with you isn’t permanent and doesn’t show up on their phone bill. This particularly applies to the married ones, but we’ll get to that. The older fuckboys will try to insist on using something called Kik.

Regardless of what they choose to use, they’re quick to delete or clear messages so they don’t leave a trace.

But it's a free country, right?" I shrug and purse my lips. "Nobody can force someone to become emotionally invested in a casual relationship. So why do we care if they don't want to get serious?"

A new slide flashes up, this one featuring a series of images of emotionally distraught people.

"These are not victimless crimes, of course, or none of us would be here. So who are the victims? These men aren’t just screwing over single women. They can also be in serious relationships including marriage. Their behavior can become worse with age and is often accentuated by a mid-life crisis. And like I said, this is a non-judgmental environment… except ofcourse when it comes to the fuckboys themselves... you see, side chicks can get fucked over, too."

I see a couple of shocked faces in the crowd, as well as a few nods.

"Hmm, what else...”. I look over at Mia. She clicks to the next slide and I glance up at the large projector screen.

“Ah, yes. Perhaps the most important part of all. What are the impacts of a fuckboy? Why is this an issue? There’s an enormous range, here, depending on the specific variety that snares you in their trap. At the mildest, their behavior can lead to hurt feelings and a sense that you’ve wasted time getting to know them and engaging in whatever your relationship consists of while it lasted. It can be mildly embarrassing and you can pick yourself up and move on quite quickly. But it can also extend to degradation and humiliation… the unwanted kind," I wink at the crowd resulting in a few snickers, "depression, financial ruin, drug or alcohol addiction.” My tone grows hushed. “Even suicide.”

A few people gasp.

"This is serious stuff, folks. Which is why we run these sessions. To help you to identify your own situation and get out of it as quickly as possible before it escalates, and to prevent it from ever happening again."

While the audience remains very engaged in my presentation, I sense the energy in the room could benefit from some curated audience interaction.

“What did your fuckboy do to you, Katherine, if you don't mind sharing with the group?” I point at an attractive woman in her late twenties who is sitting in the third row of the audience. Mia walks over and hands her the microphone.

Katherine's hand is shaking but her voice is clear as she describes her situation. “He… he cheated on me repeatedly and got me fired from my job when I broke up with him.”

I shake my head and frown. “I'm so sorry that happened to you, Katherine. And how did that make you feel? If you could share with the group it would be very helpful.”

Katherine looks down at the ground, obviously close to tears.

“His behavior was pretty awful, right?" I prompt her. "Come on. Share with the group.”

She sniffs and nods. "I was devastated and I still am. Nobody will hire me in my industry after the rumors he spread. He sent letters to my work, and even showed up in person a couple of times."

“And maybe you felt a bit ashamed that you fell for it?” I glance at her, an eyebrow lifted.

She nods again. "I feel like an idiot for putting myself in that position. He acted badly and then punished me for it afterwards."

Sympathetic glances and murmurs of support pour in Katherine's direction.

“Now, you’re a catch, Katherine.” I turn to face the class. “You see, Katherine here is a very smart woman. Graduated magna cum laude from an Ivy League school and later received her MBA from a top-tier business school. Was on a great career trajectory and was on track to be one of the most successful businesspeople in her industry. Hardly anything to sniff at. She's obviously gorgeous, and I can tell you from personal experience she's also funny and kind." I pause and shake my head.

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