Page 160 of F*ckboys

"In here, Aksel dear." Her voice is gentle, soothing, a far cry from the deeper voice that manifests itself during ruthless boardroom meetings. I find her stirring a pot at the stove, her silver hair pinned neatly at the nape of her neck. As usual, she's wearing a custom-tailored suit, but this time it's underneath a frilly gingham apron. The juxtaposition of my formidable Grandmother in the underground world where she made a namefor herself in a city full of ruthless men, and the traditional grandmother who bakes pies and roasts dinners and knits the occasional scarf for her great-grandchildren, is jarring and amusing.

"I didn't know you were cooking." Guilt washes over me. I should have offered to help.

She waves me off, her bracelets jangling. "You have enough on your mind. Besides, it's been a nice distraction. Allowed me to think about some really serious business problems. Now, tell me what's troubling you. And take a seat. Your hovering is making me uncomfortable."

I slump into a chair at the table, dropping my head into my hands. "Fallon. My family. They all want something from me. I can't give Fallon what she needs, and I don't think you'll ever accept her."

Grandmother sits across from me, her eyes soft with understanding. "You're torn in too many directions. But this is not like you, Aksel. You've always done what needed to be done, no matter the cost, for the good of the family. And you should go back to doing things from that perspective. By the same token, if you really love this girl—and I'm beginning to think you do—you should be making decisions that are the best for both of you."

Her words strike deep. She's right. I've been selfish, only thinking of my own needs.

"Fallon is a good woman, Aksel. Strong, smart, caring. Don't let your family's prejudices ruin what you have found. Including my own." She reaches across the table, squeezing my hand. "Do what's right, not what's easy. Apologize to her. Take responsibility for your actions. If she's the right lady for you, shewillunderstand."

"But you told me to watch out for her, and not to trust her."

"That's before I realized how happy she makes you, Aksel. If I'm honest with myself, I was holding her responsible for thingsthat happened before her time." Her eyes soften. "And you're a different person when she's around. You come alive. That has to be saying something." She squeezes both my hands together, making me feel like a little boy going to collect her fresh baking from her bustling kitchen.

Of course. Fallon has always understood me in a way no one else could. My grandmother is right. I need to make this right. I stand, filled with purpose. "Thank you, Grandmother. You've given me clarity." I kiss her cheek.

"You're welcome, Aksel dear. Now go, before she slips through your fingers."

A smile tugs at my lips as I head for the door. Fallon won't be slipping through my fingers again.

Chapter 89

Fallon

Raine pulls me into her arms, and I collapse against her, tears spilling onto her shoulder. There's something so comforting about this woman, even though Aksel is her brother.

"Shh," she whispers, stroking my hair. "It's going to be okay."

Her warmth seeps into my skin, thawing the ice in my veins. I take a shuddering breath, breathing in the scent of vanilla and cinnamon.

"I'm so sorry about everything," she says softly.

I swallow the lump in my throat and pull back, wiping my eyes. "It's not your fault."

Raine pulls back, smoothing a lock of hair from my face. "Aksel only brought Grave into your life to protect you, Fallon.Because he loves you so much, even when he thought you hated him."

I frown, the mention of Grave's name bringing a bitter taste to my mouth. "He had no right to make that decision for me. To put a hitman in my path without my consent."

"No, he didn't," Raine agrees. "But you have to understand, Aksel has always been an overprotective fool when it comes to you. He saw Grave as a way to guarantee your safety when he couldn't be there himself." A wry smile twists her lips. "Not that it excuses him lying to you. Or manipulating you. He definitely has a lot to make up for."

My chest clenches at the sound of his name. "By betraying me and spying on me? It's like he found the opportunity to get closer to me than basically anyone else. How do I know he wasn't manipulating me the whole time? Do I even love the guy, or has he just used Grave to find out what he needed to weasel his way back into my life?"

She shakes her head. "I know Aksel's heart. He's a good man. He cares about you so much, he really just wanted to keep you safe."

I stare at our joined hands, remembering the warmth in Aksel's eyes when he looked at me, and the gentleness in his touch. Could it really have been borne of love and not manipulation?

"And what about conspiring with my dad behind my back? Of following my dad's instructions to propose to me? He knows how much I detest the obligations I already have to my family, and then he takes this thing—this one very personal thing that is meant to bemine—ours—and he takes that thing and gives all the power tomy father! The man who already controls everything in my life."

Raine squeezes my hands. "I know that hurt you deeply, and I understand how it must have felt." She pauses and her gazelocks onto mine. "You once told me love comes in many forms, some of them dark and twisted. But at its heart, real love is about caring for another person and wanting what's best for them." Her lips curve into a soft smile. "Aksel has always wanted that for you. He just went about it the wrong way."

Her words sink in, and I realize she's right. As much as Aksel's actions infuriate me, they were motivated by love and a desire to protect me—however misguided. And if our positions were reversed, wouldn't I have done the same to keep him safe?

And as for colluding with my father? I can see that he probably wanted to impress his father-in-law, and get in his good graces before marrying his one and only daughter. I have no doubt in my mind that Aksel meant what he said, that he intended to propose to me and that I wouldn't have had to wait long. If I'm going to be mad at someone, it really should be my interfering dad.

I sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose. "I don't know if I can forgive him. Not yet. But..." I meet Raine's gaze, a fragile hope blooming in my chest. "Perhaps in time, we can find our way back to each other. If he's willing to earn my trust again."

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