Page 134 of F*ckboys

"We need to talk," she says.

My stomach clenches. Those four words are never good, especially when said by a stubborn, irresistible woman haunted by darkness. "About what?"

She looks away, jaw tight. She takes a breath. "I can't do this anymore, Aksel."

"Do what?" But I already know. Fear and anger surge through me, a toxic mix.

"Us." Her eyes meet mine, stormy gray. "I just can't."

"Please, Fallon." My voice is steady despite the chaos in my chest. "We're so close to things being perfect between us."

"More like closer to destroying each other." She shakes her head, frowning, then tilts her gaze upward to meet mine. "I don't want that life anymore. I want to move on."

"With someone else?" The words taste bitter. But it would explain why she's so eager to end things with me.

"No, Aksel," she shakes her head. "There is nobody else. But I need some time apart while I figure out what's right for me. I can't keep putting my heart on the line like this. Every time I'm with you, I think this is it, that we're meant to be together. But then I spend some time away from you, and my head clears and I realize it would be easier, safer, to go on without you."

I can't tell if she's bluffing or not, and in the absence of real information, my mind concocts a slide show of visuals. Fallon with a group of guys fawning over her, like some type of reverse harem. Fallon at a family dining table with a husband out of a Nordstrom catalog laughing with their children as he serves grilled meats. Hot surfer man bringing Fallon breakfast in bed, offering himself as dessert. Tormented by these images, I shake myself back to reality.

"I won't let this happen." I slam my fist on the table, rattling the dishes. Coffee sloshes over the rim of her mug and she flinches.The thought of her going about her life without me as if I was a passing fling stings me. Fallon making her own coffee, pouring a cereal for one. Fallon texting her friends about the latest news, the latest reality show. "You're mine, Fallon. I'm not letting you go."

"I'm not a possession." Her voice is soft but steely. "I'm not yours to let go of. But you do need to be okay with me going. To be clear, this isn't the end of our relationship. I just think we both need some time apart. Things have been so confusing lately, and I think it's necessary for our growth as individualsand for the longevity of our connection. If we want something that lasts the distance, rather than this constant back and forth that's destroying us emotionally, we need to come back with clear heads."

I stare at her, emotions warring within me. Anger that she's leaving, fear that she won't come back, sorrow at how much this hurts. But beneath it all is a grudging acceptance. Fallon has never lied to me. If she says this is for the best... and if this will get us onto a good track where my emotions aren't in a constant state of whiplash… it's got to be worth it.

I swallow hard. "How long?"

She bites her lip. "I don't know. However long it takes. It could be days, it could be months." Her eyes are bright with unshed tears. "But this isn't goodbye, Aksel. I just need to find myself again, to recenter. And I want you to do the same."

I pull her into my arms, breathing in her scent. How did we end up here, in this mess of tangled emotions? But Fallon is right. The darkness that lingers inside both of us will only poison us if we don't face it.

I stare at her, this infuriating, intoxicating woman. The one person I'd burn the world for. And now she wants to leave, before we've even really started again?

My heart twists, the back and forth of our love like an unstoppable pendulum. But beneath the hurt and anger, I know she's right. If I really love her, I have to set her free.

Even if it shreds me to pieces.

"Go then," I say roughly. "If that's what you really want." I close my eyes, steeling myself. Then I place a soft kiss on her forehead and release her. "Do what you need to do. I'll be here waiting when you come back."

A tear slides down Fallon's cheek. But there's gratitude in her smile. Grasping my hand, she gives it a squeeze.

She hesitates as if second-guessing her decision, as if disappointed at my immediate acceptance of her suggestion, and for a second, I think she might stay. But then she nods once, as if convincing herself, and walks away. And then she's gone, the door closing behind her with a soft click.

I close my eyes, alone in the silence. Waiting for the pain to hit.

Initially, it comes in waves, crashing over me until I'm drowning in it. I stagger to the couch and drop my head in my hands, struggling to breathe.

I get why she's doing this.

Fallon's right that we were toxic. I see that now. But letting her go... it's the hardest thing I've ever done. She says it's not permanent, but maybe the time apart will change her mind. Maybe that's the whole point.

I straighten, scrubbing my hands over my face. She wanted me to change, to become a better man than the one who has now broken her heart twice. I need to honor that, even if she refuses to see me. I owe her at least that much.

But instead of the old anger and rage I'd expect to feel in a situation like this, there is only peace. Fallon has given me a gift beyond price—the chance at redemption.

I'll give her as long as she needs to process the parts of her that are holding her back. And in the meantime, it's up to me to become the man she deserves. No matter how long it takes.

The first step is dealing with the mess I've made. I pick up my phone and dial a familiar number.

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