Page 3 of The Forever Gift

‘Would eleven thirty suit?’ he said, as if that was an answer.

Eleven thirty definitely does not suit. I’ve missed so much work already and I have back-to-back meetings from nine until twelve tomorrow. But without hesitation I said, ‘Of course.’ And then I said, ‘Thank you.’ I actually thanked the doctor for the opportunity to break bad news to me.I know it’s bad news, because if it was anything else, he would have told me over the phone, wouldn’t he?

I’ve made my fair share of similar phone calls. I don’t talk to people about their health – just their money. Most of my clients think money is the most important thing in the world. I wonder if they saw how much weight my daughter has lost recently, or how she walks with a subtle limp, whether they would change their mind.

‘Please come into the office at your earliest convenience,’ I say, monotonically and not giving away any clues, but the person on the otherend always knows the news is bad. Sometimes they ask for more details. Sometimes they don’t. But they always manage to clear their calendars, no matter how busy they protest to be, and make the appointment.

‘Mam,’ Kayla says appearing behind me and placing her hand on my shoulder.

‘Ahh,’ I screech, clutching my chest.

I didn’t hear her bedroom door open behind me over the music blaring. Kayla giggles. I laugh too and hope Kayla thinks that I’m dragging my sleeve under my eyes to dry the tears of laughter and nothing else.

Kayla squeezes between me and the banister and lowers herself to sit and share my step of the stairs. She drops her head onto my shoulders and doesn’t say a word.

‘Hey you,’ I say, concentrating hard to steady my shaking shoulders. ‘What do you fancy for dinner? I’m thinking Chinese? Or pizza?’

Kayla takes a deep breath and nuzzles closer. ‘Mam, what’s wrong? Tell me, please. I’m worried about you.’

I reach my arms around my daughter and gather her into me. And I plead with the knot in my stomach to back off for just a moment so I can enjoy the smell of Kayla’s hair and the warmth of her hug.

‘It’s a big decision,’ I puff out, remaining steady. ‘Pizza or Chinese. Could make or break the whole evening.’

Kayla straightens and I release my grip. I look into my teenage daughter’s beautiful, sky-blue eyes and I struggle to remember a day before I had her in my world.

‘I’m dying for prawn crackers,’ Kayla smiles. ‘Can we get it delivered?’

‘Good idea,’ I say. ‘That’ll give me time to whip up some brownies for after. How does that sound?’

‘Yum,’ Kayla says, standing up and bouncing down a few steps before she turns a half-circle to look back at me with a cheeky smirk. ‘And I’ll pick something on Netflix. My choice tonight. No more of that documentary crap that you’ve been watching. You have to watchRiverdale,Mam. Everyone at school loves it. You will too.’

‘Okay, sweetheart,’ I say, clinging desperately to one more day of normality. ‘Okay.’

TWO

CHARLOTTE

The next day

‘Molly, honey. Where are your shoes?’

My four-year-old daughter stands by the front door with the evidence of chocolate cereal melted into the creases of her lips.

‘Dunno.’ Molly shrugs. ‘Daddy?’ She twists her chin over her shoulder and shouts towards the kitchen.

My husband hurries into the hall sporting the same sugary-breakfast residue around his mouth.

‘Shoes?’ I say, shaking my head and pointing to our daughter’s feet.

‘I know. I know. I was just on it,’ Gavin says, glancing at Molly, hoping for clues as he drags the back of his hand across his lips to wipe away the chocolate.

I shouldn’t sigh, but I can’t help it. I appreciate Gavin’s efforts to offer me a lie-in this morning, but he doesn’t know Molly’s routine the way I do. I laid in bed, staring at the ceiling for as long as I could, pretending the confusion about uniform and PE gear hadn’t worried me. I came downstairs appearing as unphased as possible with Molly’s tie tucked subtly under my arm.

‘Your shoes are where you left them last night, Molly,’ I say, slipping the tie around her neck and fixing it in place. ‘On the bathroom floor.’

‘Oh yeah.’ Molly smiles, pulling away from me to hurry up the stairs. ‘I remember now.’

‘God, that kid would forget her head if it wasn’t attached,’ Gavin says, half-laughing.

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