Page 5 of When You're Gone

I jump and immediately sit upright.

‘Your mother told me I might find you out here,’ Marcy explains.

‘I just needed a minute.’

‘I completely understand. It’s scary; I get that. But it’s freezing out here, and you’ve no coat on,’ Marcy says. ‘Annie wouldn’t want you to catch your death.’

‘Maybe that would be a good thing,’ I grumble. ‘We could go together.’

‘Oh, Holly, sweetheart. No.’ Even in the darkness, I can see Marcy shaking her head. ‘You’re young with your whole life ahead of you. I know this hurts a lot, but your grandmother wouldn’t want to hear you talking like that.’

‘It’s not fair,’ I snort, pulling the sleeve of my jumper over my hand and using it to dab around my eyes.

‘I know. I know,’ Marcy says. ‘I know it feels like that now. But Annie was young once too, just like you are now. She’s lived her life. A great life, Holly. Her time has come, and she’s ready to go. But she can’t go peacefully if she knows you’re out here all alone and upset.’

My whole face scrunches. Sweet as Marcy is, her story stinks worse than the chicken shed.

‘Did my mother tell you to say that?’ I ask.

Marcy shakes her head, but I know she’s lying.

‘Nana doesn’t know I’m out here, does she?’

‘No,’ Marcy confesses.

I smile and drop my head, feeling less on edge. I like Marcy better when she’s honest.

‘But Annie does worry about you,’ Marcy adds. ‘She thinks you protect your heart when it comes to love, and she doesn’t want that for you.’

Nate comes to my mind straight away. I’ve heard people in the office whisper about how we were the most mismatched couple they knew. Nate is confident and outspoken. I’m quiet and emotionally guarded. The girls in accounts actually had a bet on when we’d break up.Whoever chose January made a fortune.My family, on the other hand, were rooting for us. My mother said Nate was good for me and brought me out of my shell – whatever that meant. And Nana said Nate reminded her of someone. I really wish I’d taken the time now to ask her who.

I lift my head to face the woman standing in front of me. I don’t know her, but she seems to know so much about me.

‘Nana said she’s worried about me?’ I squeak.

‘She didn’t have to actually say it,’ Marcy says. ‘It’s what she didn’t tell me that helped me understand how much she cares about you. And your brother too.’

‘You’ve talked a lot these past few days.’ I smile. ‘You and Nana, I mean.’

Marcy’s voice becomes lighter – happier. ‘Annie is a lovely lady. It’s been a pleasure taking care of her and getting to know her.’

Marcy’s bittersweet words pinch my heart. Getting to know people just as they are about to say goodbye must be hard for Marcy, I think. My grandmother really is a lovely lady. Everyone thinks so. She’s lived in Athenry all her life, and the whole town knows her well. She’s popular and makes friends so easily. I’m not like that, unfortunately.

Marcy is Nana’s newest friend. It comes as no surprise that even on her deathbed, my grandmother is still making new friends, still attracting people with her charming personality and warm heart. I’m glad Marcy is Nana’s nurse. I’m so happy that Nana has had company these past few days. Someone to share her old stories with. It should have been me, but I’m here now. We can share stories now. I stand.

‘So you’ll come back inside?’ Marcy asks.

‘Yeah. Of course.’I shouldn’t have come outside.

‘Oh. Before we go, I have a quick question,’ Marcy says, fidgeting with her nails.

‘Okay,’ I reply, wondering why she can’t wait until we go back inside – where it’s warm.

‘Was Annie an artist when she was younger?’

I giggle. ‘Oh, God no. Painting and drawing are definitely not Nana’s thing. She’s more of a book person, you know?’

Marcy stays silent and I elaborate. ‘Nana is a major bookworm. An avid reader, borderline obsessed, really.’ I pause to sigh, reminiscing. ‘I’m surprised she never wrote her own, actually.’

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