Page 4 of The Operators

Chapter 2

Present Day

Mack

It’s raining. Of course, it’s fucking raining.

I lift the hood on my jacket as I set the flowers down next to her headstone. Sunflowers. I don’t know if she liked sunflowers or not. I was too young and dumb to figure out that type of thing back then, but she wore a sunflower dress to the beach on our third date. So that’s what I’ve been bringing her for three years in a row now.

Damn. Three years. It’s been three years since I found out about the accident. Three years that I’ve been stuck in this rut, unable to move on.

It doesn’t even make sense. I wasn’t even with Olivia when it happened. We hadn’t been officially together for over three years when her brother called to let me know about the car wreck. I don’t think I was even very high on the list of people to let know.

I don’t know though. Even though we broke up when she moved away, it was like I always thought we’d make our way back to each other or something.

I don’t know. Maybe that’s not even it. It’s more like I didn’t even get the chance to try again. She was gone before I got the chance, and now I’ve been using that as an excuse to not riskthat happening again. What if I take that chance, and something happens again?

I run my fingers across her name and squeeze my eyes shut to have one last moment here with her before hopping back up to my feet. I don’t want to be here in case one of her family members shows up tonight. Although, I doubt anyone is going to come this late. The sun’s almost down. It feels like I don’t even have a right to be here though.

I shouldn’t be here.

I have to move forward. That’s become even more evident in recent days. Addison actually kicked me out of her house last weekend because I’m around too much, but I mean, Declan’s been mine since birth. We were literally born together. Although maybe stopping by pretty much every weekend was a tad too much.

It’s Trevor’s fault though. He’s been hanging out with some girl he met at work almost every day it seems like, so I’ve been spending a little bit more time over at Deck’s place. Okay, a lot bit more time over at Deck’s place. And to make matters worse, both of them are busy today. Today of all days. I can’t go home alone tonight. That’s the last thing I need.

I walk up to the bar at the first nightclub I find, yanking the button open on my dress shirt sleeve and rolling it up as I order a drink. My shirt is still wet from being out in the rain, but luckily my jacket kept me mostly dry so I don’t look like a total mess here tonight.

I lock eyes with the redhead across the bar again, and she gives me a flirty smile. Okay, Mack. It’s time to focus. I can do this.

Damn, it’s been too long since I’ve done this.

I honestly didn’t even realize how stuck I was since I found out about Olivia’s death until Addison. My friends give me shit about the whole situation, but I had no reason to be mad ather or Declan. She’s an amazing woman, and I love her to death, but I didn’t want anything more with her than I have with any of my friends.

It’s been that way with every girl I’ve tried to go out with. That’s why I’m here tonight. I need to force myself out of my comfort zone and get back in the swing of things. I don’t even want to admit how long it’s been since I’ve been intimate with anything other than my hand. I’m going to rectify the situation. Tonight.

“Can we get two shots of tequila? The cheap stuff.”

Thea leans up against the bar next to me. I shake my head at her with a smirk, sliding my credit card across the bar to the bartender. “Not the cheap stuff.”

Thea winks at me. “Are you here by yourself?”

“None of your business,” I say, grabbing the shot of tequila and tossing it back. The alcohol burns through my chest as it goes down.

Thea bites down on her lime and presses another one up to my lips. I bite down, pushing her fingers away and grabbing the lime myself.

I hate the way she does those casual touches, but her touch is so familiar. It’s so comfortable. It’s home.

She drags her finger across her own lips, wiping away the lime juice. “So, you’re really here all alone?” she asks, not letting me ignore the original question.

“What about you?” I deflect. “Who let you out without adult supervision?”

She rolls her eyes, nodding over toward a group of mostly girls and a few guys on one of the corner couches. I recognize a couple of her friends, so that makes me feel a little better. I’m keeping a close eye on all the dudes eyeing her though. If it were up to me, she would never be at a place like this without me. They’re like fucking vultures. Not that it matters anyway. She’smade it abundantly clear over the very, very many years I’ve tried telling her what to do that she’s going to do whatever she wants anyway.

“So?” she asks. “You’re not going to tell me?”

I sigh, giving in. “I went to Olivia’s grave. It’s the three year anniversary today.”

“Oh, shit,” she says, “Are you okay?”

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